<p>Here’s a somewhat real-life example that just occurred to me at work: I was chatting with two co-workers (white, educated, upper middle class professional women). </p>
<p>Woman A was talking about a recent game the high schoolers in her neighborhood (including her son) were playing, whereby they were assigned to “shoot” other kids (with water guns) and all the hijinks that ensued as kids chased one another around, hid in bushes to assault their target, etc. She seemed to think it was a lot of fun and was laughing as she recounted amusing anecdotes about her son’s involvement - point being that this was harmless teenage fun. </p>
<p>Woman B is married to a black man and her two sons, also the same age, look black rather than multiracial.
She very quietly but firmly raised the point that she could never allow her sons to engage in these hijinks, however innocent they were, because the thought that the police would come after two black teenagers hiding in bushes and shooting with water guns was not a trivial concern for her family - that this could very well wind up in tragedy if her kids did the <em>exact same thing</em> woman A’s kid was doing. (And she’s right.)</p>
<p>But Woman B just made her point calmly and carefully, and it made Woman A think. Woman B didn’t have to use the obnoxious “check your privilege” card against Woman A. </p>
And thats supposed to lead to a continued open discussion of the issue, when one uses a yiddish curse word in a thread about an article written by a Jewish person?</p>
<p>Yes I am purposely emphasizing. Its offensive and another shut down comment, or one begging for a like-minded response, just as “check your privilege” can be. What benefit does it serve, other than to try to make some point. One offensive comment shouldn’t beg for another.</p>
<p>And what, actingmt? Because your kids have jobs, everyone else can find jobs? I promise you, I am not lying when I say that my son had a hard time finding a minimum wage job last fall even though he wanted one. There are plenty of people less skilled than he is, and I must assume that they too would have a hard time finding a job even though they search diligently for a job.</p>
<p>Have you even read this thread??? “Check your privilege” is a shut-down comment, as was just stated AGAIN on the last page of this thread. It is never appropriate to shut down someone’s opinion, just because you assume they haven’t considered the circumstances of others. It is insulting and often bigoted to do so. Please re-read the thread. Thank you.</p>
<p>jym, are you insinuating that I didn’t know that “schmuck” is a Yiddish word for foreskin? I know that; I grew up in the New York area so I absorbed some Yiddish. I used the word on purpose.</p>
<p>Cf - No, I’m actually slightly amazed that my D has found these temp jobs as easily as she has. But, I assume nothing. That may be the difference.</p>
<p>No, CF, I make not assumption about whether you know or not (though its really a reference to the whole male organ, not just the foreskin, but I digress) but in case you didnt, used it as a point of comparison. I am saying that I am well aware of the term (if you’ve read my posts you’ll know I am Jewish). I am saying it is offensive and a shut down comment, and if you used it to show that its as offensive as the “check your privilege”, then we are in agreement. </p>
<p>actingmt, I’m glad your daughter found those jobs. Good for her. That’s terrific. </p>
<p>Now, if you continued to insist (which you have not done) that because your daughter found those jobs everyone else who was looking for low-wage jobs could find them as easily, then we would wonder about your privilege. You have not done that. But if you said, five times, that low-wage jobs were easy to find, even after other people explained that their experience was different, then I would want to shut you down with a dismissive comment, because hypothetical you (not real you) would have revealed that hypothetical you were smug in your privilege and hypothetical you would be contributing nothing useful to the conversation.</p>
So is calling someone, or using the term schmuck (and see the clarification of the definition/meaning. It isn’t just the “foreskin”. Its calling someone a prick, basically).
They are all derogatory.</p>
<p>Someone commented up thread that in years gone by, some would simply say “shut up”. What would you say in this circumstance?</p>
<p>"In my mind, “check your privilege” is not the start of a dialogue. It’s the end of a dialogue. It’s “shut up.” "</p>
<p>YES, which is why we object to it so - which is NOT the same as saying “there is no such thing as privilege, and black people never get followed in stores, blah blah blah.” But it keeps getting conflated for some odd reason.</p>
<p>This is a bit off-topic, but in my experience, both Jews and non-Jews use the word “schmuck” to mean an idiot or a jerk. It’s derogatory, but it’s not a curse. You can use it if you want to insult someone in polite company.</p>
<p>Well perhaps we should respond . CF, with “check your privilege”, as its another example of where different people draw the line. In our household it was a disgusting term never to be used, lest one want to get their mouth washed out with soap (not literally). It is NOT a term to be used in “polite company” because it is considered a disgusting word. Its not off topic at all;, CF. Its a good example of some not understanding, as its not directly in their experience base, how offensive a term or phrase can be to others. Even if you think its made its way into the mainstream vernacular and is somehow acceptable, to some, it isnt. Terms like “schmuck” and “putz” are , at least in my experience base, considered vulgar. </p>
<p>Why would a different belief about the connotation of “schmuck” count as a privilege? What’s advantageous about believing that “schmuck” can be used in polite company?</p>
<p>Wow, the way this thread continued really reinforces that our get out and stay out of this nonsense is actually life-affirming. I do have to give others credit though - the machinations and the analyses that some put into every conversation with every person based on who they think they are talking to is enlightening to say the least.</p>
<p>I admit I do not have the time or energy to be doing as much. And my kids, for sure, have much more important things to do than to be continuously wondering if this person thinks this or if this person thinks that, as they speak to each other. Such information is simply impossible to keep track of or know with any certainty of anything with every person our family meets. </p>
<p>There are so many wonderful, fun, and interesting things to do in life that this privilege obsession is something I am thrilled my kids and I do not waste any of our precious lives on. It seems like such a waste. Again, just be nice, courteous and helpful to whomever and do not worry about those with a chip on their shoulders because they choose to waste their lives focusing on what perceived advantages other people have over them; no reason to let them waste our lives too. </p>
Bay, you have relentless interpreted everything to support Fortgang’s argument from the beginning of this argument, and some of it has been almost nonsensical, including the suggestion that I am biased against white males. I AM a white male.</p>
<p>But you know, a lot of how we respond to things is based on personal experience. My relevant personal experience is that I remember guys just like Fortgang from college. In my experience, they are opinionated jerks who like to spout off insensitive stuff to get a reaction–but although they can dish it out, they can’t take it. The fact that Fortgang happens to be the conservative version of this particular kind of jerk is irrelevant–to me, anyway.</p>
<p>That’s odd, I would consider it likely that the typical user of “check your privilege” is an opinionated jerk who can dish it out but can’t take it.</p>