<p>EK - I am thinking about you.<br>
EddieOdessa</p>
<p>Here is a great website to cheer you up. I LOVE this one:</p>
<p>[Home</a> - GivesMeHope - Like ■■■, but for optimists!](<a href=“Gives Me Hope”>Gives Me Hope)</p>
<p>^^ Awwww… Great site!</p>
<p>Gah I thought I was doing better , I know those of you in tHe midwest are having worse weatHer tHan we are and I am Happy Eddie Vedder is getting married - I really am , ( after all he has two lovely daughters and he should be married), but I so wish it was April or tHat I was 36 or even tHat my dad was alive ( he died when I was 17)
I came to tHe conclusion tHat I am not going to be able to get a college degree 
I am not even going to be able to finish my program in restoration horticulture, bUt I thought hard & thought tHat I really would like to run a family child care center ( demand is high here, good places the wait list is 400 deep)
Our house is Close to a great park, close to tHe zoo and close to the Elementary school.
But whEn I just mentioned it to my H, to think about- he said no.
I am so frustrated, he worKed swing shift and weekends all while tHe kids were growing up , making it pretty impossiblE foR me to contribute much finaNcially.</p>
<p>It is already driving me crazy that my whole life people have been telling me how smart I am. Today my Dr told me that I am one of tHe smartest people she has ever me ( & sHe wnt to Stanford : rolleyes: )
But that and $3.75 will get me a coffee.
My younger D is coming home tommorrow and she has told me several times that as soon as she is done with school there be no reason to see either me oR her dad again.
She means it too.
I just don’t know how I got to be so mesSed up.</p>
<p>But then again at least my neighbors neVer trigger their car alarm
;)</p>
<p>EK, I’m sorry to hear you are having such troubles. All I can say is --don’t give up! It is never too late, a cliche I realize but I firmly believe it to be true. Women older than you have turned their lives around. I know a few myself. </p>
<p>Perhaps you could start small with the family child care idea? Maybe just 2 or 3 toddlers to start. Then your H might come around after he sees you feeling happier.</p>
<p>EK:</p>
<p>I’m sorry you’re feeling down. We had our S in family daycare for the first couple of years. The care-giver was an absolutely wonderful woman. She took in six children–the maximum under the law. She basically had to turn the whole ground floor and her backyard into a daycare space. Some families even left their children with her overnight. I could see it would be enormously disruptive if your husband is unwilling.
If you cannot run a day care center out of your home, how about working at one? If there is such a demand for daycare, there is a good chance that you could get a nice job!</p>
<p>EK! It’s mid-December! It’s the worst of the cold dark days of Seattle! You’ll feel much better as soon as the Solstice has passed, and that’s only ten days away. You know that!</p>
<p>Blah
My wonderful neighbor across the street just turneD 96 a couple weeks ago and has lived in this neighborhood all her life.
I am gonna ask her if she has any tips cause it seems harder to get through each winter.</p>
<p>It also seems like I must be going backwards ( hormonewise) When I was in my late teens early 20s I had really bad PMS huge mood swings :p. But then it was much better and although I still have regular cycles , I don’t really notice them that much- except when I bottom out right before like yesterday.
Maybe I should start keeping better track ;)</p>
<p>As an interim step I am going to inquire at one of tHe schools the girls attended, they both have after school programs and one of them- even now has babies- although that seems really odd to me, cause for 20 years it definitely was strictly a school, although they had a short daily preschool program- but what sort of entrance testing are they going to do on a baby?</p>
<p>Oh I know , they must be like my cousin who was potty trained @ 9 months</p>
<p>EK, try to absorb as much sunshine as you can (even if it is freezing cold outside). It does help :)</p>
<p>I don’t get why your H is against you doing the daycare thing for a couple of kids. He is at work during daytime, right? The kiddos will not be getting on his nerves. I think looking into school-associated daycares is a good plan. After working there for at least a year you will have more credibility as a daycare provider (and your H might grow more fond of yout in-home daycare plan).</p>
<p>Ek:</p>
<p>Working in an after-school program would be a great solution! It would give you a fixed schedule and would not necessitate making changes to your home (baby-proofing, getting out the changing table or buying a new one, baby toys…). And you would be able to interact with children and make use of your pent up creativity!</p>