That is a common sentiment, feeling a responsibility to entertain or show lots of gratitude at a time when you may not be feeling well. At my Ds’ school, we would buy the patient a nice cooler, and volunteers were requested to place the meals in that cooler during a particular time frame. That way, the patient or family could retrieve the meals without having any pressure to invite the volunteer inside or make small talk at a poor time.
That is a fabulous idea Nrdsb4. I’ll pass the cooler idea along to a group I know. No idea why it hasn’t occurred to us sooner. It would let people give food who aren’t “next door” to the patient. thanks!
We did that as well. You can also leave the clean dishes in the cooler for the donors to pick up at their leisure.
Get two wigs. The wigs have to be cleaned quite regularly. In addition, check your health insurance to see if there is reimbursement.
As for “throwing everything at the patient” be “happy”. My doctor said that they treat the cancer so aggressively it is because they are optimistic that the patient will live.
Signed, Ellebud…8 years survivor.
Your local American Cancer Society may have a wig program - people donate wigs and local hair schools shampoo and style them. I did receive a second wig from ACS that looked good on me. I also bought a hair ring (that is for around the face and back, worn under a hat, so much cooler).
Very true about aggressive treatment. When you can endure it you know you are beating cancer.
None of us know what tomorrow brings. Get through the todays as best as all can.
Have a good trip, neatoburrito. You’re an angel of mercy.
If you live in an area with an Orthodox Jewish community there will be wig stores.
The fatigue is real and is much more than just needing a nap. It’s the kind of tired where one can take a three hour nap and STILL have no energy to move. I fall asleep in my car all the time. I get to my destination and have no energy to get out and do what I had come to accomplish.
Troll Netflix, Hulu, etc. for humorous movies and shows. Laughter is terrific medicine. It’s something the family can do together without taxing your sister too much.
My youngest sister and 10 yo niece came out to help me after I got out of a month-long stay in the hospital following my cardiac arrest. She cleaned my laundry room, organized the tools, and a host of other things that I had been unable to do. She earned my undying gratitude. If there are small projects that would make her life easier, go for it. Stock up on TP, paper towels, light bulbs, trash bags, reusable food containers, baggies. Using paper plates makes for fewer dishes to wash/put away.
You are doing a wonderful thing for your sister.
– 12.5 year leukemia and 2.5 year cardiac arrest survivor
Just wishing you and your sister all the best. You really are wonderful to want to help so much.
@neatoburrito - How did the visit go?
I have been back for a while now and I have to say that while the treatment is working (the tumors are shrinking), it is so very difficult to watch this. I think that more than anything, I provided a distraction and made her children smile loudly and often, and what mother doesn’t want to see that? She is in so much pain though, even with the heavy pain medication that she is on, you can still see it in her eyes. The side effects of the pain meds make driving impossible for her. I am so glad that my father is retired and is very good about spoiling his princesses, especially when they’re sick.
I’m hoping to be able to get down there again in a month or so.
Thank you, everyone, for your suggestions and support. It’s difficult for everyone. And though I have faith that she will make it through this, the treatment is just so, well…brutal. She’s lost so much weight (and couldn’t really afford to lose much to begin with). Her eyes burn for some reason, she eats like a bird. It’s hard.
When I came home, she sent me selfie after having given herself a buzz cut. Then we exchanged messages of really goofy, stupid wigs that she could get. That was fun. She’s my big sister. I love her so much. It’s just hard to see her so seemingly helpless.
I have a good friend who’s in a second round of chemo (after 18 months NED :() for ovarian cancer. I have been cooking from this cookbook–
http://www.npr.org/books/titles/169338864/the-cancer-fighting-kitchen-nourishing-big-flavor-recipes-for-cancer-treatment-a
Also, look into “Cleaning for a Reason” for when you’re not there. Merry Maids (perhaps others) offers free housecleaning for cancer patients undergoing treatment. It just takes an application and “doctor’s note”.
Love to you and your sister, neato. Your relationship is very precious, and it sounds like you have a great father too. This is the blog of a friend of a friend, and your sister might relate to it if she has the energy to read a little. Best of luck for her recovery.
Forgot the link - here it is. http://newmoonproject.org/author/alison/
It is good that you are able to help. The oncologist recommended a short walk (no more than 10 mins) when overtaken by tiredness. Surprisingly, it worked. The surroundings probably helped. Anything containing fat (other than butter in a tasty sandwich occasionally) was found to be difficult and there was a search for bread with no vestiges of fat. Strongly flavoured fruit teas were more palatable than other beverages. Two wigs and something to plan for the end of treatment I really recommend. We planned a longer than usual family holiday to a completely new country, self-tailored as far as possible to include each person’s dreams. Eleven years post treatment later it still provides happy holiday memories with no thought of the chemo for the younger ones.
I hope this is of some use and that all goes well.
I am a stage III cancer survivor and I had a lot of fatigue, but I had a lot of chemo. When I discussed fatigue, walking was also suggested, and I looked at them like they were crazy because I was way too fatigued.
I do understand that people that can be a little active do better, but I think it is because they feel better!
The key thing is to hang in with the blood counts etc so the body can take all the treatments needed to get rid of the cancer.
Sorry @neatoburrito that your sis has no weight on her and no appetite. Hopefully there is some nutritional support for her to have calories coming in to help her with her strength. Also sorry she is having pain.
Rest is a very good thing.
When my sister in law successfully battled breast cancer she had several meetings with a specialized nutritionist as part of her treatment. She believes it was the nutritionist’s advice that helped her gain the weight she initially lost, and helped her stay strong. She was very surprised nutrition wasn’t part of other patients’ cancer treatment.
That is a great idea @katliamom - now that there are good anti-emetic drugs (keep people from vomiting), many don’t have as many weight issues. However people still have lack of appetite, or the chemo affects your mouth. I would eat scrambled eggs and toast because that was easy for eating and was appealing to me. Hopefully taking in nutrition will improve for her.
OP how are things going?
DH had stage 3 cancer. It is hard to see someone you love suffer. I, too, believed he would beat it. And he did! A year of hell, but I kept reminding myself, “this too shall pass.”
Best wishes for your sister’s recovery.