<p>We did things the emilybee way - no chore list or schedule, but lots of helping when asked or being responsible for personal tasks like laundry, picking up after themselves, loading their own dishes into the dishwasher, etc. I could not bear the thought of printing up and enforcing a schedule. I dislike household chores myself and prefer to spend as little time as possible thinking/talking about them. I’ll do them, but I don’t want them taking up additional space in my brain.</p>
<p>Once my kids could drive, they were of real help with errands and even the weekly grocery shopping. When they were in high school, they’d make one meal a week for the family, which wasn’t an assigned chore because they liked doing it. It was heaven on earth for me.</p>
<p>My kids did have a very modest allowance which wasn’t really tied into the chores. They did the chores and they got an allowance, but they weren’t really difficult about doing the chores so I never needed to hold the allowance over their heads as a carrot. They made more money in babysitting or part-time jobs.</p>
<p>No chores in my house. No allowance either. My bedroom was always a complete disaster. I probably made my bed several times a year. Pretty much lived in there. </p>
<p>We did get paid money as kids if we washed the car and occasionally for other things.</p>
<p>We had a dish washer and my mom vacuumed and dusted each weekend. Occasionally I’d unload the dishwasher or help with vacuuming. I’m allergic to dust so that’s not my favorite chore.</p>
<p>I did get a job at 14. wanted the internet and a computer so I bought a PC and paid the internet costs each month. Started with 20 hrs of aol then changed to prodigy, lol.</p>
<p>Once I started working I cooked my own dinners each night and put my dishes in the dishwasher.</p>
<p>My pay check covered the internet, the pre paid cell that I bought, my gas and insurance, and a bit extra for spending and saving. </p>
<p>as kids if we wanted something at a store we’d barter for it… Vacuum the whole house for the next month and it’s yours… Lol</p>
<p>Both ours had a very modest allowance growing up. It was their share of what we had, and was not tied to chores. The chores were also part of sharing the family life. They mowed, made their beds, took out/brought in garbage, did their homework, helped with food prep, brought in groceries. As they got older, they do their own laundry, vacuum, clean their shared bathroom , iron what they need, run for their meds…S2 is doing all dishes this summer because he’s the only one without a job. I do not cook them breakfast or lunch unless I’m feeling particularly generous or they are having a busy day. We share mowing based on who has the most time and there is no formal schedule or division. S1 and I are the best cooks. S2 and DH do heavy landscaping best. This is all with varying results – 2 is a slob, 1 is a neatnik, so the negiotiating over how/when to clean their bathroom is hilarious. Once they graduated from high school,there was no allowance. </p>
<p>I think everyone benefits by knowing what work is, how to respect those who do it, and how to contribute. How that is accomplished will vary greatly.</p>
<p>I ask my kids to help when I know they have time to help. It doesn’t make sense for me insist they take out the garbage when they’re up til 11 pm doing AP homework. Likewise, in the summer, I ask them to help more. S takes out the recyclables without being reminded, and he’ll haul heavy garbage out if I just point to it. He comes down without prompting to unload the car of groceries. Recently, I showed him the dust bunnies on the stairs; handed him some paper towels; he cleaned it up. When they were young, I was convinced they had to have a chore list and do it or else. Now I try to bend to the reality of everyone’s lives and deadlines.</p>
<p>I’m not the greatest housekeeper and my kids do not get an allowance. They don’t have a formal chores list however they do the dishes,fold the laundry,take out the trash,feed the cats,change the litter, mow the lawn and rake the leaves. There are times I will have them do other things but for the most part we just kind of go with the flow. S1 & S3 bedrooms are really messy while S2’s is neat. I think S2 takes after my husband.</p>
<p>Greenbutton, I agree! Every family has to find what works for them. I think it’s interesting, because I think that in the mundane every day things that have to be done, you can learn something about a person, or even a family. In my house, the approaches to cleaning and philosophies about chores vary wildly from person to person. My husband runs the show, so things are pretty much done his way. I think I can guess what each kid will do in her own house. :)</p>
<p>We’re pretty unstructured but they help me out a lot. My son always mows the lawn. We all take care of the dogs’ needs. Laundry is shared- I usually start it but will ask them to go down and switch it or carry up the last load, etc. I separate everything and put it on their beds. They deal with it from there. If they need something washed outside of my typical laundry day, they do it. No point for them to do it otherwise because we don’t have that many loads to do. Their stuff fits with what I would wash of mine anyway, most of the time. They help start dinner and I usually finish it, but sometimes they finish it too. We set the table together- someone grabs plates, someone else grabs silverware, someone else gets condiments or whatever out of the fridge. They do their own dishes that are used while I’m at work. They get their own breakfasts and lunches. </p>
<p>They used to get allowances and there are some big jobs I pay them to do sometimes. I do pay my son some money to shovel snow. It all works out, stuff gets done, and we operate as a cooperative family unit.</p>
<p>My kids have always had some chores. The amount varies depending on how many people are living in the house. We have 2 kids of our own and, when our kids were younger, we had 3 foster kids. When we had a full house, the kids actually did most of the housework - vacuuming, dusting, bathrooms, mopping, dishes, laundry, etc. I always do the cooking because I like to. H does the yard because he likes to. Allowances were not tied to chores. </p>
<p>Now, I just have one at home and he does a few chores - vacuuming weekly, unloading dishwasher daily, taking out trash when it needs it, keeping his bathroom clean and doing his laundry. He also goes to his grandmother’s house once a week and does “honey do’s” for her. Still no allowance tied to it. I think my kids just grew up knowing that everyone has to pitch in. If I ask them to do something, they almost always do it - just not always as quickly as I would like.</p>
<p>Count me in on the unstructured method. Seemed silly for me to have a list of things that needed doing. Everyone knows that when the dishwasher needs to be emptied, that somebody should do it. Equally silly to have the kid who has an after school schedule plus hours of homework have to do it when his sibling is sitting watching tv. They either do it when it needs to be done, or when I ask. Their rooms, bathroom and laundry were their job as soon as they were big enough. </p>
<p>They also got an allowance until early high school but not for doing chores. Those are done because they live here. I don’t get paid to do the dishes, why should they? The allowance was to teach them to handle money and was only given until they were old enough to get a job and was minimal. Nothing bothers me more than a teen who doesn’t want to work because he doesn’t need the money.</p>
<p>My kids started doing standard household chores in 1st grade. And they really kind of needed a list. There were a lot of chores and they divided them. So the list kind of kept the little kids on track. We used to make them check each task off every day when they were done. When they got older, they didn’t use the physical list anymore. But it’s funny, we’d still hear them say, “I’m not ‘A’ this week, I’m ‘B’. It’s your turn to clean the bathroom!” </p>
<p>A lot of people talk about the dishwasher, but we hardly ever use ours. The kids wash and dry the dishes and put them away. We only use the dishwasher if we have a big organized meal with guests and lots of dishes. So dishes had to be washed, rinsed and dried and put away every day, several times a day, but there usually aren’t many. </p>
<p>Actually, all of a person’s chores may only take about 20-30 minutes. My kids usually didn’t have a ton of homework. But on nights when they did, chores could be waived. All they had to do is ask. I had just better not see them sitting in front of the television until chores were done. And what your siblings were doing was really irrelevant. The chores were divided evenly, so it could EASILY be that you have homework and your sister doesn’t. She could do her chores and be sitting in front of the TV, while you might have to hurry up and finish yours so that you can do your AP homework all night. That’s just the way it works sometimes. </p>
<p>It was a struggle with D1 & D3, but D2 would walk through the door from school, put her books away, immediately do her chores without asking, and then sit down to eat dinner and then homework - Never had to check to make sure they were done properly, or if she really did them all, or anything. If they could have all been that easy! :)</p>
<p>I hate handwashing dishes. Hate it, hate it, hate it! I haven’t had a dishwasher in four years (apartment) and cannot WAIT to get a dishwasher again. When I go home, I gladly do the dishes because they’re so dang easy.</p>
<p>^ I hate hand washing dishes too. The few times our dishwasher was out of commission was horrible. I can’t believe how many dishes 5 people and 2 cats require in 1 day. </p>
<p>On the other hand my grandparents were married over 60 years and never owned a dishwasher. She always washed and he dried. They said it gave them time to talk to each other every day.:)</p>
<p>D1 once said that the only thing I taught her was how to curse and drink!! Haha.</p>
<p>Needless to say, we probably didn’t require the kids to do a lot of chores. Make their beds, occasionally empty dishwasher. But they were taught to do volunteer work.</p>
<p>We had a chore jar in the summer, and each day the kids would pick a chore to do. My house is too big, single parent and I needed my kids’ help! They were good at kitchen cleanup, cooking and yard work from an early age. </p>
<p>However between HS activities, jobs, music practice and area orchestra on Saturday AM, things rather fell apart at that point. Seems the rooms never got cleaned often, and life was a rush. The kids also were joint custody, so there were two rooms to keep clean, two gardens to help weed, etc. </p>
<p>My kids as adults now know how to make things look nice, but their rooms are still a mess, wherever they live. Sometimes I wonder if we should not have been so busy when they were young, stayed home on Saturday mornings rather than emphasizing orchestra. But the college scholarships were nice…</p>
<p>As disorganization is rather family trait, seems I’m always trying to outwit it, whether in the kids or myself. </p>
<p>Never had a dishwasher, and I listen to the radio as I wash dishes, watch the birds in the yard, or talk to who ever is around. I’m fast, and it is far from a dreaded task.</p>
<p>When we lived in an apartment, our dishwasher was broken for the first several months (our AC was broken the entire time, don’t get me started…) The actual washing of the dishes by hand didn’t bother me, but standing at the sink as long as it took to wash them while holding pots and things filling with water was MURDER on my back. I just got the worst upper back pain, between my shoulder blades… I’d be ready to cry by the end. I assumed everybody had this problem, but considering how many people voluntarily don’t own dishwashers I suppose that can’t really be true…</p>
<p>Emahee…older houses have lower sinks. If you are over 5’4" or so, you are probably bending too much. When we redesigned this kitchen, we designed for tall. Just an extra inch really helps in terms of back strain. Are you standing on a mat with some cushion, and getting right up to the sink?</p>
<p>cromette, our son has been home after college graduation for 4 years and has had to pick up all the chores he and his brothers did: trash, recycling, setting the table, unloading the dishwasher, cooking, and mowing the lawn. He hates to get his hands dirty or wet (part of his mental illness), so washing the dishes -sometimes even his- is just torment to watch. </p>
<p>We added the cooking only recently. We’ve always had dinner together as a family, even now when it’s just the 3 of us. We figured since DS is enjoying the meals we cook, he can be in charge of cooking for one night. Often he’ll find something fast in the freezer, other times he takes great pride, but overall it’s been good for him to take on that role. </p>
<p>No, we don’t pay him, but we also don’t charge him rent.</p>
<p>Like several posters have said, my kids did chores because it was just part of being the family. Everyone did a bit of everything as time and ability allowed. S1 now lives on his own but helps me out when he comes to visit. S2 is home for the summer and has done quite a bit of “heavy” chores, like putting boxes in the attic. </p>
<p>They got allowance in middle school and high school until they got jobs. Allowance was minimal, but taught them how to save and spend pretty responsibly. Allowance was direct deposited into their savings accounts. We also gave them cash (over and above allowance) sometimes “just because”. Everyone enjoys a bonus, especially when it’s unexpected!</p>