Sorry, just picking up from yesterday morning. I still don’t understand the nuances of acollegestudent’s argument that clothing and hair treatments are OK (have we discussed jewelry yet?) but makeup is not. The only kind of clothing that wouldn’t really “alter” one’s appearance would be a stretchy head-to-toe bodysuit that truly shows what a person’s shape is.
I think what acollegestudent is missing is that everything we do to present ourselves to the world is aimed at helping us feel confident and comfortable. All the morning rituals people participate in, from drinking coffee to putting on perfume (ah–another enhancement) to lint-rolling our pants to get rid of the dog fur before we leave the house, are part of making us feel in control and ready to tackle the day. Makeup is just like any other tool in that arsenal.
Has anyone tried Dr. Jart+? Someone yesterday mentioned that they’ve never found a good tinted moisturizer or foundation for very pale skin. My D told me about this product, which is particularly great for light complexions:
It comes in one universal shade that disappears into the skin, but evens out tone and reduces the appearance of pores. This particular product adds a bit more moisture, which I like in the winter. My D uses this, which is much the same, but better for oilier skin (I use it in the summer):
If everything we do is to present ourselves better, and and there is no difference, as some are are arguing, is there also no difference between putting on a dress and getting plastic surgery? Clearly, there is. And there is a difference between putting on a dress and make up too, although it’s clearly not as drastic of a difference as in my example. I don’t know if people really just don’t see the difference or are splitting hairs. It’s very obvious to me personally…
And EK, maybe what you say is true (even probably), but I hope it will change. Maybe not in my lifetime, but some day. Makes me sad that those expectations are placed on women, but I do believe it can change - in the meantime, if someone wants to judge me or limit me, that’s their problem. I don’t want to get an ‘edge’ by ‘prettying’ my face.
We don’t see the difference. There is a difference between wearing a potato sack and an expensive designer dress that is more flattering. Some might choose to wear spanx beneath to further enhance a look. I get my hair straightened and get it cut/styled about once a month. It’s also for appearance. I just started getting pedicures a few years ago, but dont get manicures. But I see no similarity in applying some temporary eye shadow or mascara that can be wiped off at night to undergoing plastic surgery. Aside from being in a global category of appearance enhancers, that’s about it.
I agree and think this is an important point. For some of us, feeling confident and comfortable means fooling around with our hair and/or applying make-up for 30 minutes every morning. My husband is the fussiest hair person and takes just as long as I do getting ready for work. I think we end up looking similarly put together in our business casual. It’s not about attracting attention, worrying about how other people perceive you - it’s feeling good about yourself.
^^^I can agree with that - sort of. But are you a slave to that 30 minute routine? Can you not leave the house without it? Can you also feel ok about yourself without it??
I am lucky if I spend 3 minutes on my hair/face every day. Scrunch my hair with my fingers, slather a little Aveeno, spritz some body spray and I’m out the door - 30 minutes a day would be my nightmare! But I appreciate that that 30 minutes is someone elses comfort.
She didn’t describe feeling like a slave to her morning routine. Its just part of getting ready to start the day. And if it makes her feel good, whats wrong with that?
I like to look neat and clean but my hair is not professionally done on any regular basis (maybe once every two years) and I don’t wear make up at all. I do work with women who wear make up, wear accessories, etc. I don’t look like Cindy Crawford. Do I stick out? No. Not really. The standard is not Cindy Crawford - she may represent one ideal image of beauty but she is not what people expect to see. Would I move up if I wore more professional clothing? Maybe but then I would have to wear professional clothing and make-up (that’s not where I want to be).
I agree with others who say they tend to their appearance for themselves, not necessarily for others. If getting your hair professionally done every few weeks and wearing make up boosts your confidence and makes you smile, I say go for it! If getting your hair done leads to a stressful encounter with judgmental stylists and you think the make up stylist makes you look clownish, then I say, maybe don’t go for it? Not wearing makeup makes me smile and confident. That’s what moves me forward in the work world (and the fact I’m very very good at my work).
"Slave’ referred to like it or not, must do it. As opposed to “want to do it”. I said in my comments, that it would be my nightmare, but appreciate that that is someone elses comfort.
At my work, I am the one who does not wear make up, does not get highlights in my hair (though I do root touch up), does not wear much bling. BUT. The ones who do? They wear 90’s makeup, 90’s clothing, get their hair done and mani/pedi’s but look totally dated to me. I don’t wear make up, I keep my hair short and wavy/curly but I have the updated clothing, the perk in my step, I do stand out I think because I’m not stuck in their time warp!!!
I’m happy but limited too.
And that should be the bottom line - happy. So wear your make up - or not. Dress blingy or not. But be happy and content.
These are all choices. She chooses to do the grooming in the morning. My hair is very curly and I prefer the look when it is straight to curly/frizzy so I choose to flatiron it after drying it. I dont officially “need” to do it (none of us do), its a choice.
“If everything we do is to present ourselves better, and and there is no difference, as some are are arguing, is there also no difference between putting on a dress and getting plastic surgery”
There IS a difference - makeup and clothes do not permanently change one’s body.
I will not apologize for loving my 3 or 4 inch heels, hair products, face products and makeup… That being said, I am 56 and have been single for 30 years so I do it for myself. Putting on makeup or doing my hair is for me to feel good. That being said, I am a natural blond…okay, maybe strawberry blond. Either way, I am a washed out mess without makeup.
I am a natural blond too (dark blond) with light eyebrows and lashes (got made fun for them in middle school when they were lighter). My hair is straight, but still a little frizzy. But that’s me. And I won’t apologize for wanting to be me, pale complexion and ‘imperfect’ hair and all.
Happy but limited.