We had same problem last year but daughter took a gap year because we couldn’t afford the one she wanted. We may have the same problem again because we have two others in college and doubt we could get the loan. I think you need to a financial site and plug in the numbers in the debt calculator so she can see what will need to be paid back. Them show her cost of living in NYC or where she would want to live. Then show her the kind of place she could afford. Tell her the amount you can afford. She will definitely thank you for it someday. You may want to offer something as an incentive like…"…this school would let us afford for each other to visit more often…" or “…with this school we could afford a semester abroad…” Believe me, in the last few years these schools have gone up so much and they often hide costs by not adding in room and board and/or other fees. We are actually going to visit one I am praying she doesn’t like because unless they give us more, she can’t go.
@bisouu - except Juliard. I have heard it said that they take a 2nd, 3rd and even 4th look at you if you went to Juliard! ^:)^
Oh @MTParents2015 do I feel your pain. We had to take an artistic acceptance off the table when the $$ just didn’t come through from that school. That was not a fun day in our house. If my kid weren’t so blasted happy where she ended up - I might regret more that I didn’t push some of the even more generous programs. Let’s just say I’m extremely grateful that kiddo #1 is graduating this year - and landed herself a full ride to grad school so that all educational related money can now be funneled to MT D.
I think right out of school, if you’ve gone to a well-recognized top 5 school, (or the school the Director attended!) it does make a difference in getting say an audition. A given director will know you’ve trained with "x"or studied “y” in your program, and that may make a difference. But believe that effect wears off after a couple of years, esp. if you have recent theatre references. I would not say it makes no difference.
We faced this financial quandary with both kids.
Our MT D’s year, it was the question of letting her apply binding ED to a very expensive school, for which we would not qualify for aid the first 2 years, or make her take her chances with RD after going through the full audition circuit so she could compare financial offers. In that case, we decided to let her apply ED, with the thought that once S was also in college we would qualify for financial aid and her dream school is known to be very generous with need-based aid. As it turned out (she just finished), she was able to graduate two quarters early, plus the school was VERY generous with aid for two out of her three full years and also paid for many extra perks along the way, so in the end she came out spending in total about what she would have at her cheaper options (not counting one full ride state option). She is very grateful to be graduating from her top choice school, and feels she has enjoyed many benefits, both professional and personal, from the education and contacts she has gained there. She started working in MT about a year ago and has earned better salaries than any of us expected, so (knock on wood) it looks like she will be self-sufficient immediately after graduating, which was our agreement.
Our non-MT S made his final decision between Berkeley, with a top program in his field of study, where the OOS tuition and class sizes have been climbing steadily and he would only have gotten aid as if he were an in-state student, versus UCL, a top school in the UK in his field, which was also more expensive for us, or a third private and also top in his field where he was offered generous aid for his first 2 years (when he overlapped with our D). In his case, he chose the least expensive option as he will need a PhD in his field of study and is wildly happy there.
Best of luck to all facing these choices, and in our experience though our kids made opposite choices, there are no wrong choices as long as all options are schools where they can be happy.
@bisouu my daughter said that same thing about NYC. She wants to live there after graduation and we will also have a little money
I understand this very challenging dilemma. I think if you had this discussion with your kid before hand that she can’t go to a school on her list unless the bottom line after scholarships comes in under X amount, and she still applied, it is reasonable (even if heartbreaking) to follow through on that. Having that discussion ahead of time is important so she went into it with eyes open toward this possibility.
I would not saddle my kid with loans either (though agree with the person who explained that there is a limit to the amount of student loans a student can borrow and it is nowhere near six figures) and I know plenty of BFA students who were able to handle that reasonable amount of student loan debt. In our case, after scholarships and grants and any money on hand, we took out Parent Plus Loans because it was impossible for us to have all the money on hand for two kids. While a hardship for me, I am paying off my kids UG loans and also my older kid’s grad school loans. Some loans were taken out in their names to obtain an lower interest rate but not with the intent for them to have that debt themselves (I pay it). So, I want to suggest as someone else did, that parent loans are one way to make it happen since it is difficult for a middle class family to have all the tuition/room/board money upfront, particularly if they have more than one child. Also, if this is your oldest child and a second (or more) child will be in college overlapping the first child, your financial aid will increase at that time (it did by a lot for us, and my kids started college one year apart) and so examine that possibility if that is your situation.
All that said, there is no one right way. Every family has to do what works for them and what they wish to do. I do believe your child will survive no matter what and thrive where she goes. We let our kids choose the school based on best fit and whatever that meant we’d have to do or borrow to make it happen, we did it. But that is not for everyone.
To chime in re: finances: we did not take parent loans but did co-sign for our S’ s loans. He got a generous fin aid package but is it ever really enough? We have 3 kids to go and will do what we can as they apply. We intend to help re-pay the loans as we are able but each will end up with some debt to repay (skin in the game I suppose). It is yet another question without 1 right answer (except, perhaps, having a very productive money tree)!
@MTParents2015, 3 years ago I had a similar situation with my daughter (not MT). She loved her very expensive dream school…and “liked” her second choice which was easily 1/3 the price. We took her for an overnight at her second choice where she spent the night in a dorm with current students and sat in on some classes. She had a fabulous time there and it was much easier for her to except her second choice. My daughter is now a junior there and loves it…no regrets at all! Many of the theater programs have admitted student days where prospective students can spend the day, or an overnight, take a dance class and an improv class, and get to see the closeness and camaraderie of the other students. Maybe a trip to her second choice will help sway her…
@MTParents2015 On paper, we don’t qualify for need-based aid. In reality, there are some issues that certainly SHOULD qualify us…if this was a perfect and fair world…but it isn’t always. My son had some good acceptances and some good and some decent merit scholarship offers, but one school offered him a full tuition merit scholarship. Sadly, it was not his top choice. Let’s say it was #3. My husband kept telling my son not to worry about the money, while in private, husband kept telling me that he was worried. sick. Finally, I just told my son that he should follow the money. That the programs were similar and he would get great training wherever he chose. I said, “Look…that school REALLY wants you…and they are willing to put their money where their mouth is. I’m not telling you what you HAVE to do…but I highly recommend that you look at the big picture.” He did. He chose full-tuition scholarship school. There were tears and we needed to give him time to come to the “right” conclusion, but I’m so happy that he did…because now we are in the same boat with S2. I can only hope that it turns out as well for him, because actor son is in HEAVEN at his school. Has thanked me profusely for hanging in with him while he made the decision. He is starting to understand the value of the dollar in a different way than when he was at home. Once in awhile he will tell me something “cool” about a friend who is at one of the other schools he wanted, and when I ask if he is sorry that he isn’t there, he says, “Mom, it isn’t like it’s better…it’s just different…but not even really so different. It’s like you said…we are all getting great training.” My heart goes out to you. You have some time. No reason to push. It may be best if she can come to this understanding on her own. <3
Another example of how each family needs to do what they value or feels right for them. Some say that they will help finance their kids in the early years following college graduation, as they transition to their careers (or move to a city), etc. In my family, we feel strongly to fund our kids’ education through to their terminal degree, and once they graduate, they are on their own financially. Each daughter has supported herself following her final graduation (one went to grad school for 4 years and so started supporting herself at age 27 and our MT kid graduated college at age 20 and started supporting herself after graduation day as we expected them to do). I’m still paying college loans but they support themselves once out of school. But different ideas work for different families. This is just ONE approach.
We are going the way @soozievt describes. Fit is foremost.
I disagree about a director not caring where you went to school. Of course, skills and work ethic prevail but all things being equal (as they often are) a director will look at a performer who graduated from Yale differently than one who graduated from (insert markedly less competitive and considerably less renowned school here). That’s certain. Even if it’s subconscious, a big brand name impacts decision making.
Equally important is the network your child graduates into. In one way or another, many former schoolmates - all four years worth - will be future collaborators. Writers, composers, directors, and so on, will be out in the marketplace your child is entering. Even glancing relationships can become opportunities to collaborate. If you believe that the student body overall at X College is profoundly more (insert whatever you value) then that reasonably has a place in your choice.
CAVEAT: There are people who graduated from Harvard living on the streets today. And there is probably somebody who went to community college working as a professor at Princeton. My statements are about the center of the bell curve - not the outliers.
Agree vocal1046! If Directors truly did not care what school one attended, why would we all be here obsessing over it? To the extent that your audition reflects what you learned in school, then certainly, where you went to school matters. And as Vocal says, this business is about connections. You are going to get different connections attending CMU or CCM than "x’ new little school, because “x” new little school doesnt have an alumni network. A less expensive school may be pennywise and poundfoolish.
I happen to think this is important, even more than the name of one’s school. The peer group is an important aspect of fit for the four years, but also these may become a significant part of your network after graduation. My D has hired former college classmates and they have hired her too. For example, tomorrow night, my D has a major concert of her own and the venue producing it, provided funds and she has hired 10 back up singers and 9 musicians, and a majority (but not all) are people she went to college with who are now successful in the field. (even the person she is paying to do her hair and make up is a former MT classmate who has gone into this specialty) The same has happened to her in reverse. She has also hired directors and choreographers who were former classmates. Her network now is far broader than her fellow alum, as she is almost 6 years out of college, but networking is a huge part of this field. I think her connections with fellow alum will remain strong for years to come. So many of them have become successful in all aspects of the field of music and theater.
I believe that going to a brand name, renowned school CAN help- the alumni network, showcase and master class connections, and perhaps in getting audition appointments. But in the audition room, this doesn’t matter as much. What matters in those 16 bars is how well you fit the character and are right for a part. Yes, a person’s school can help get them IN the audition room, but the actor is on their own for the audition. And in every Broadway show, there are always your CCM, UM, and CMU grads, but always mixed with people from less famous schools, or those who didn’t even study theater. And yes, there are a decent amount of CMU grads who are doing really well on Broadway right now. But there are also CMU grads who haven’t booked jobs in a while. So really, there are many paths!
I echo the comments above. Strong, very competitive peer group helped my son hone his skills; it meant a lot to be cast in a mainstage production. Good practice for the competitive auditions in the real world. And - now that he is in NYC he has access to strong alumni group - actors, singers, casting directors + his agent.
Although freshman MT S had three terrific acceptances last year, and we had given him the option to apply to some pricy schools, we had made it clear since early in HS that money might end up being the deciding factor in where he ultimately attended. He is very happy at his free ride program. In making that decision last year, we factored in what hopefully would be additional outside summer/internship/travel abroad/grad school opportunities. Perhaps his school network will not be as big or powerful as some others (though still pretty good), but we figured that his possible summer experiences (he can afford to do for little money) would broaden that network tremendously, and those people would get to know him for his skill set, work ethic, and ability to be a good team player. If it turned out that he was not that kind of performer/worker/teammate, then no alumni network in the world would be of benefit after the burning of the first few bridges. Here’s to building networks based on talent, hard work, and good character.
I have shared here before that finances absolutely played a role in where my sons are attending school and graduating without student or parent loans was absolutely a key factor in our decision-making. At the time, my boys didn’t like those very frank discussions, but they have come to see the wisdom of their parents’ ways. EVERY SINGLE YEAR kids have left their programs – a common reason is that parents cannot qualify for PLUS loan in year 3 – and every one of those losses is tragic. Read it again – THESE KIDS GO HOME – THEY DON’T FINISH – Because they cannot afford the program they started. (And prices don’t go down – tuition, fees, housing, everthing, goes up each year.) In hindsight, there were schools on our list we should never have applied to, but we didn’t totally understand the process in the beginning and were hopeful for magical scholarships and financial aid that never materialized from some of the dream schools. Magical thinking got us.
Listen, everyone thinks THEY will be a star and money won’t be a worry. (And kudos to anyone for whom that is real life). But reality is these performer kids will probably still need a little help from mom and dad after graduation. Set the precedent now for buying what you can afford. This is an important lesson to learn and it is just as true for college as it is for clothes, cars, furnishings and homes. There are amazing artists coming out of programs all over the country, large and small. Your child can be an amazing artist at the school you can afford – there are other kids who will be there with your kid for the same reason(s). (And don’t get me started on the lack of scholarships for retirement – we all need to be saving for ourselves too…)
To be embarking upon your performing career and to be potentially needing to earn enough for NYC rent and a huge student loan payment is the hardest situation of all – your kid will need several survival jobs just to make ends meet and won’t be able to devote time to auditioning and ongoing training. The kids who can breathe more easily (without big loan payments crushing down on them) do have a tiny leg up. They just do. My kids are finishing up their junior year now and see it before their eyes. Some of their friends are going to have to go home to mom and dads house and save up for a few years before launching in NYC. (Mad props, by the way, to any parents here who have paid their childrens’ student loans off or somehow made it work with a lot of debt, but I wouldn’t have been able to sleep at night. Granted, I’m doing two kids at the same time.) Anyway, I hope I’ve helped. I’ll get off my soapbox and slink away for a while 
^^^LIKE, LIKE, LIKE! MTTwinsinCA
@MTTwinsinCA – you are right about kids leaving their programs. My D is heartbroken because her roomie is transferring to a cheaper school next year…she just can’t afford to stay. We’re not talking about kids who drop out because they don’t like the program or discover that MT isn’t really for them…they just can’t afford to continue.