Ok, professional auditions are one thing, but to toy with an 18 year old child?? Thick skin!?!! BOLOGNA!! They KNOW what they are doing and SHAME on them.
Still waiting on one â Syracuse. Oh, and two waitlists â ugh. I didnât predict the waitlist dilemma.
I donât think the schools are deliberately toying with them. It happened to my D tooâŠthey said (in the audition room), âWe love you! When you come here, we will teach you to do XYZ.â Not even WLâŠoutright rejection. I suspect that they really believe what they are saying ITR (âin the roomâ) at the time. They do. But either they are not the ultimate decision makers, or they see someone they like better later on, or when they put the pieces of the class together, it just doesnât work. You can never, never, never read anything into verbal statements. Wait for it to be in writing. There are such things as on the spot acceptances, but they whip out a letter that says, âDear ______, We would like to offer youâŠâ and they fill in the blank.Or, it is abundantly clear (e.g., âWe want you in our program and will mail the letter of acceptance out tomorrow.â) The thing you are talking about happens ALL the time, in college auditions, and in professional auditions. Which is why most people donât talk about jobs until, as they say, the ink has dried on the contract. Itâs a hard lesson, but they have to learn it soon.
@Divamamacita, hopefully Syracuse will be sending out more acceptances tomorrow. Arenât they the school known for multiple Friday notifications?
I agree with @monkey12. I donât think it is intentional⊠but they certainly should think before saying such things!
my D also had two schools basically feel like she was in on the the spot⊠Things like âyou are going to love our programâ after asked to sing more songs and about career plans, and âmake sure all your paper work is in so we can admit youâ were said, only to get the âno thank youâ, not even a flattering wait list⊠Disappointing and heart breaking but Iâm sure this is part of building a tiny layer of the thick skin they will need to pursue this career⊠But Geesh, it sure is hard on mama!
I can certainly understand that they love a student in the room, but then in the end the âpieces donât fitâ or a higher-up picks someone else. But KNOWING that that happens often, auditors should NOT say anything that implies a student is definitely âin.â Saying âYou have an amazing voiceâ or âThat was great!â or other compliments is fine. But saying things like âWhen you come hereâŠâ or âMake sure your paperwork is in order so we can admit youâ is totally crossing the line and should NOT be said unless the auditor knows the student will DEFINITELY be accepted. JMO.
I know that this does happen in professional auditions too. But at least in that case, actors can take solace in the fact that the casting director or production team really liked them and will hopefully remember them in future and call them in for other parts, which happens all the time. So thereâs still something good that can come of it, even if you donât get this particular part. Whereas with college, this audition is IT - if you donât get in, thatâs that. And a college audition in many ways is bigger than an audition for a part, because it determines where youâre going to be spending the next four years, what training you get, and how much debt youâll be in at the end. Itâs HUGE. Plus the auditioners are only 18 years old and just starting out, not seasoned professionals.
So, yeah. Auditors, compliment the kids all you wonât, but donât make any statements about whether theyâre getting accepted unless you know for SURE.
Huh? Oh I see now! So sorry @monkey13!
Honestly, I think that it is incredibly unprofessional for auditors to behave in this manner. In every company that I have worked for, large and small, we have trained our staff carefully on how to conduct themselves when doing job interviews. Part of that training always includes reminders to treat every interviewee in a similar manner and never, ever indicate whether or not a job offer will be extended. It is simple, common courtesy to avoid making the interview about a placement/acceptance decision and just focus on a two-way assessment of potential fit between the interviewer and the interviewee.
To me, there is no excuse for this to happen, especially in the highly-emotionally-charged world of college admissions. Donât these people know better?
MY KID IS GOING TO COLLEGE!!!
ACCEPTED THIS MORNING AT SOUTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY CARBONDALE!!!
HOLY CRAP. WHAT A FLIPPINâ RELIEF!!!
=))
YAY!!!CONGRATS!!!
YAY YAY YAY @KaMaMOM!!! So very happy for you!!! Woo hoo!!! That news just made my whole day!!! Congratulations!!!
@KaMaMom â Iâm crying tears of joy for you right nowâŠI know first-hand what your journey was like. Many, many congratulations to your D, and to you for your fortitude and sense of humor throughout the madness!
OMG @KaMaMomâ !!! I just had to pull the car over to the side of the road to type this. I know EVERYONE here is beyond happy for your daughter and YOU!!! Now you can relax and ENJOY!! =D>
@KaMaMomâ WHOO WHOO!!!
OMGosh @KaMaMomâ Iâm crying tears of joy for you! That is so awesome! Congrats to you and D!!! YES!
This industry is not like any other and that trickles down to the entry level experiences. How people are trained to behave in a job interview is totally irrelevant to audition protocol; they are completely different animals. Within the context of the arts there is license to behave in a plethora of ways that would be absolutely unacceptable anywhere else. That is not about to change. Donât kid yourself and donât encourage your child to expect anything different.
The truth is that if an applicant wants auditors to understand this point of view, then s/he (the applicant - not a parent) needs to write them a thoughtful, heartfelt letter about the disconnect between what they were told in the room and the ultimate admissions outcome. Write down exactly what was said in the room at the audition and examine clearly whether those statements were reasonably interpreted as a promise of admission. Put the letter away for six months and look at it again before sending it. Be sure that the letter does not protest the admissions decision. Rather, take care to highlight the actions that made that outcome more shocking and painful than it needed to be.
The vast majority of the auditors in the room are unlikely to be reading this board and it will take some reflection outside of the context of admissions season for them (and possibly you) to truly see and understand the impact of a disconnect between messages. If folks are kvetching here just to vent their spleen, go to it! Just donât imagine that anything parents think/feel/believe/say will carry any weight at all with the auditors. Only the people in the room know what happened and any further discussion is between them.
Yes, a similar dynamic will replay itself throughout professional life. If shocking and unpredictable rejection is so deeply wounding as to drive a hopeful actor out of the business before college, then there are many who would say that kid dodged a bullet. People are seldom deliberately cruel but regular and repeated emotional injuries are commonplace in this profession. You do your child no favors by encouraging him/her to expect anything to be fair or to make sense when it comes to life as an actor.
Better to model adaptive behaviors and encourage the development of grit and tenacity. Encourage your child to look for opportunities for constructive action - ways to move forward. College is hardly the only path!
YES! Iâm so happy for you both! YIPPEE!
<:-P <:-P <:-P @KaMaMom, I am so happy for yâall. May not be the only offer when it is all said and done. #:-S