@musicalmama, I’m sorry you are so cynical and upset. But honestly…to say that “kids with average talent get into U mich and other reaches” is really a stretch. The process truly is not “fixed.” The problem is that as parents (and applicants) we are not privy to all the things that go into the decision-making. It’s not just about the best voice, and it’s most certainly not about the resume. It’s about the package that is shown in the room, at that moment. Are there kids who are incredibly talented and don’t audition well? I’m sure there are. We don’t know why schools choose one child over another, but schools usually know what they are looking for and can recognize it pretty quickly. I have never seen someone with “average talent” get into one of the top schools. They are ALL talented, and that’s the problem. In my D’s year, Gary at CMU told us he could fill CMU’s MT class at least 5 times over with talented kids. Rejection from a particular program doesn’t mean your child is not talented. Someone else’s success is not your child’s failure. It’s a buyer’s market…saturated with kids trying to get into a good program. And your kid may be the best cinnamon in the spice cabinet, but if the school is looking for cayenne pepper, your cinnamon kid is not going to be chosen.
And you are absolutely right…it IS harder for girls than boys. Way harder. There are anywhere from 3 - 5 girls for each boy auditioning. The odds are worse…this is a fact. And, there are more Caucasians auditioning than minorities. That is also true. But the bottom line is that lots and lots of Caucasian girls get into good programs every year. And it will never be a level playing field with respect to males versus females, simply because of the numbers. You learn not to compare your D to the boys…not in college acceptances, summer stock, etc. It is simply not comparable.
I guess I don’t think it’s fair to say that people are getting into these top programs b/c of who they know. I know TONS of kids in top programs who didn’t know anyone. If a child is talented, and they have a wide array of schools, and they work hard, they can succeed.
I agree with @mom4bwayboy. Being from a middle-income family, I find there is nothing quite as sobering as writing checks for tuition fees. It really sharpens the mind and makes you realize that while shopping at Lord & Taylor is all very nice, Macy’s is pretty darn good, too. And Target, for that matter. Same goes for MT schools - the packaging might not be as pretty, but it’s what’s inside that counts. I learned this lesson the hard way, having to disappoint my older daughter by turning down her first choice school–a great brand name with zero scholarship. This Fall, writing the tuition checks will be twice as painful. My point is, at this stage of the game, when we are all caught up in the joy and thankfulness of receiving any offers at all, it’s hard to remember that an offer you can’t afford is really not a good offer at all. I have to keep reminding myself that the real gems are those “second tier” schools that offer amazing training and opportunities within a cost-frame we can afford for eight straight semesters. Target starts looking like a shopping paradise. So look hard at full-ride offers or big scholarships. With the money you save, you’ll be able to pay for extra training during summers or support your young actor’s first year in New York, while his or her debt-indentured peers struggle to repay loans.
As claire74 said, an offer you can’t afford is really not a good offer at all. It is not a good fit. From day one, our family agreed no loan at all, and minimal impact to our saving habits (we will make adjustments to our spending habits, such as vacations, etc). A college is very important 4 yrs for kids life. But they have many many yrs after that shape their lives.
I am learning so much from the discussion here. I thank all experienced voices.
@Fotokat - I know what you are feeling. It seems like we have a similar situations. In some ways it was good to hear your story match ours and know that it does happen in that way for some of us. Not that it’s a good thing, of course.
To me the biggest thing these kids have to develop is their connections. Connections are going to be crucial for those who don’t get into connection heavy schools in NYC or in the top three programs. It will be very important to establish friendships and working relationships with student directors, film makers, composers, choreographers, writers. Good training can be found in many schools but they need to form alliances with those who are also trying to break into show business.
@monkey13 - Each of the few times my D wondered how so and so got into the prestigious programs , I pointed out their obvious talent or special qualities. However, I must say, there was one student at a top 3 school who I had to say, WTH? I mean this was the first time I actually said after looking at her videos, (a few) “Wow,how did that happen?”. This wasn’t merely average talent, it was below. So it does occur ,as in other careers, and simply acknowleging it doesn’t diminish the process on the whole.
There will always be a director’s girlfriend, a niece, a benefactor who will get an unearned part. The world doesn’t end nor should it make one bitter to realize how things work.
I am feeling the same away @Fotokat! We knew going into this what the competition was and the odds of getting chosen which is why he auditioned at so many schools. But, the reality of this experience is so much different than we expected. It’s such a strange mix and roller coaster of emotions - disappointed in results especially from some schools where we expected very different outcomes, confused by some of the kids who have been chosen by some schools, happy and thankful that he has acceptances (and from great programs) especially knowing others are still waiting for their first acceptance, anxiety about the remaining schools we’re waiting to hear from and whether a wait list will become a denial or acceptance.
We did not use a coach and in retrospect if I could go back and do it over, I would definitely get a coach. With that said, I heard from someone who did use a coach that they are not getting the same results as others who used the same coach. Their feeling was that the kids who did not file for financial aid and can pay out of pocket for school are having more success than those who filed for financial aid. I didn’t actually think decisions would be based on finances. Not sure if it’s true or not, but if it is, it is disheartening, but probably a fact of life.
@monkey, re: your comment about it being harder for girls than for boys. Of course, I agree–the numbers prove it. However, there is one thing that is harder for boys (and boy moms). That is seeing the questioning/pitying look on the faces of other parents when your boy–who they assume is a shoe-in because it’s “easier for boys”–gets rejected from schools.Hey, it stings for boys just as much as for girls–and sometimes worse, as people tend to assume they have it easy. Nothing, NOTHING, is easy about this process!
I second the advice to go back to financial aid and ask if any increase in grants or awards is possible. It never hurts to ask in good faith. As for whether or not to take on more expense than you initially planned for, I’ll just say that everyone’s tolerance for loans, work, etc. is different and you have to figure out what works for your family on the financial side. It’s shame that the picture isn’t clearer at the beginning when applying. I know we might not have applied to some schools had we understood it better.
The other reality is that there are people at EVERY scholarship/financial aid level at every school. You never know what is revealed by each student’s private FAFSA submission, academic record or recruiting value, so try not to wonder “how is that person affording Big Name U? or how come that family says they can’t afford to go to XYZ College?” The schools where my boys are attending offered them each generous academic merit aid, which for us made those schools more affordable than other, bigger-name schools. So you might say, WE feel like these schools are an educational bargain for US. But, at both of these schools there are students/families who are paying more or less than we are; and there are students who are there thanks to student loans or parent loans. There are some families who pay the full price and some families that really struggle, even with need-based aid and merit aid.
It has been an eye-opener for my kids to realize how hard some of their peers must work to be there. I know it has instilled a sense of real gratitude in my boys, and believe me, we are not Rockefellers, but they are now thankful in hindsight that we didn’t choose the most expensive path. At one of my boy’s schools there is a student who needs to work every night and weekend to afford to stay in the BFAMT program. This student has little support from parents and works very hard. But the reality is that this student cannot ever audition for the MainStage shows or low paying summerstock because of their work schedule and the income they need to earn for school. And this student is still happy/grateful for the opportunity to study there. One of the best attitudes I’ve ever seen.
Other things to consider: Unless your school has announced it is freezing tuition for a set period, every school’s prices go up. Housing goes up. Meal plans go up. If you live far from campus, factor in the cost of travel – including the cost if you want to visit your child and see them perform. There are other expenses that come up – travel to and from auditions, updated headshots, fancy dance shoes. Plus being in a big city may be more expensive than being in a small town. Do they need a car? Do they need a subway pass? Figure out with your child what they can expect in terms of support from you. Best of luck on the journey. The good news is that students and parents figure it out every year and a lot of kids are very entrepreneurial and resourceful and frugal once they’re in school!
That is why i said it “seems”. Just feels that way-emotions are raw during this end part of the process- though I know many families struggle. We have struggled to pay for lessons but the investment has been worth every penny and would not change a thing. We will make the best college decision based on our circumstance, but the real issue is that the decisions come so very late (still do not have full fa picture) that a family is forced to make some hard decisions and turn on a dime. Good luck to everyone and thanks for being so supportive of each other. Like someone said before, this is not for the faint of heart! We all know that going in but it becomes very real very quickly. Hoping to get this done so we can all enjoy the rest of senior year!
I don’t think any of us can judge others who have been accepted or even denied. We are not privy to a candidate’s entire application, nor how they handled their audition. Many factors go into admissions decisions. It is not all sheer talent. That said, every school must turn away very talented and qualified applicants due to the sheer numbers.
In terms of aid, so many people cannot afford to pay tuition, room, and board completely out of pocket, particularly since most of us have more than one child, often overlapping during their college years too. Lots of kids get accepted who can’t pay entirely out of pocket. My kid is no exception in that regard. As well, my kids never were financially supported during their college summers or after their final graduation day, and that would have been the case no matter how much money I had or didn’t have (though didn’t have it anyway).
Truly, this is a very competitive process. Everyone should have a college list that is tailored to their own self, well balanced, and should yield at least one acceptance (at the very least, their safety school).
and @claire74 I love your analogy. I am a Target mom through and through and use ALL the savings apps and coupons. That made me laugh. We could all use that today-thanks!
mandy: Be delighted to share my thoughts about the acting BFA at Ball State. In a word: outstanding!! The faculty there is first rate, they really care about each student, and the students receive excellent training, which includes honest feedback. I have seen a lot of shows up there and the acting students do a great job. Plus acting students are allowed to audition for the musicals and oftentimes are cast. I think they get more acting classes from my D’s MT program but I don’t think they take voice. Check on that one. They do a main stage and smaller stage production every semester, plus there are student directed shows that AO (acting option) students are in. And the Muncie Civic Theater casts students throughout the year.
If you’re coming to visit, I know Hairspray opens April 1, and my D is in a play, The Normal Heart, at Muncie Civic around the same time with a bunch of acting majors from BSU. Plus my D is doing a one woman show for her Honors thesis next Friday at the Civic Theater Would be a great time to see the talent the school has!
I can’t say enough about the place. Feel free to PM me if I can help you with your decision.
@mtmamma2020 and @destiny95 - In the past, Coastal has sent out released from consideration emails pretty quickly. Then the acceptance emails go out over the course of about a week. Then they may also send out some still in consideration emails at the same time or just after the acceptance emails. But if you haven’t heard, definitely call or email to see where you/your kid is in the process.
If you need financial aid, you are definitely at a disadvantage in this process (not just BFA but college in general) especially if you do not have an obvious hook like first generation college or under-represented minority. It especially hurts in the WL process, where schools will often go with the less costly admission. I wish it weren’t so, but based on our experience, your fits are reaches and your safeties fits if you need a lot of financial aid.
I called. I asked what was going on. They said that the offer emails went out at the end of last week and that there are several people who have still not heard and they have not sent rejections yet
I am curious about what people thought of schools before and after the audition process. Many of the schools my child initially loved, ended up being very unappealing . In particular, there were a few places that were just flat out rude. I think there are some schools who have let rankings go to their heads. I may be alone in this opinion, but now that it’s over, I would never encourage my child to go somewhere that doesn’t treat every applicant with respect.
so maybe she will give more info!