@frazzled2thecore : “When my children have done well in school, other parents (including a few who are teachers) have asked for the names of any tutors or therapists I have used.”
And you had indeed used tutors? Or were you left with trying to figure out how to diplomatically respond to the question?
Sometimes I used tutors and therapists, especially in the early years, and I was happy to share names.
For the most part, the two who took honors/AP classes (one was in self-contained special education classes) did well in high school without using tutors or supplementary enrichment programs, and they picked up credits for NHS by tutoring peers.
If I felt a need to be diplomatic, I would add that although they seemed to learn “X” easily, they struggled with “Y” quite a bit. Or, that I was aware that most students used tutors for a certain teacher who was not very effective, but that my kid worked through the material with a peer (sometimes the case) or older friend, or sought supplementary instructional material on their own.
In my opinion and based only on the experience of my kids in our district, the current explosion of tutoring is both a side effect and cause of poor high school teaching. When and where I was in high school, it was extremely rare for a parent to hire a tutor, but if it happened if was to help a student in serious need of remediation. Teachers back then usually felt obligated to help their own students who struggled, such as by working with them before or after school (something the teachers’ union now forbids). Now, the first recourse the school suggests when the student struggles even a little is “Hire a tutor.” Also, the top kids around here receive countless hours of tutoring to help them advance levels in math and such, and often as a matter of course their parents hire them a tutor in several subjects from the beginning of the year to supplement and assist them.
Since this supplemental education system is thriving, high school teachers no longer need to work hard to help their children learn and many don’t. There are few consequences for the teachers’ poor performance, as the affluent parents pay for tutoring to compensate for the inadequate teaching. It stinks big time for those who can’t afford the $80-$120 / hour it costs to hire a good tutor in the advanced subjects. My kids did it alone without tutors. They managed because they’re smart and hardworking and could survive on little sleep, but their peers who had constant access to tutoring help had a much easier time of it. One unfortunate result of this situation is that underprivileged ethnic groups are no longer proportionally represented in our AP classes.