It took me 9 years to work my way through school, so I don’t really get the concept of being disappointed because the school you’re dorming at isn’t your first choice. I’d love for my children to have that dilemma, but we just don’t have the money to send them away to school.
Although my son had a dozen acceptances, he happily commutes to the local SUNY because every college that went on his list was one he could envision himself attending. I think it helped that he took the time to look through the programs and note classes he might like to take at each one. Maybe the kids who are disappointed with their choices just need time and encouragement to discover things to love about them.
I was careful not to let my son have a dream school. Getting an education is the dream (one my dad couldn’t afford for himself) and there’s no guarantee you’ll get into the school you want and get enough money to be able to afford to attend. Even our local SUNY is getting selective enough that getting accepted there isn’t a guarantee. And if you don’t qualify for any aid, the $10k/year for tuition, books, and commuting expenses can make it a financial reach. Many solid students in our area end up starting at one of the cc’s and finishing at the 4-year school. But I suspect they knew that was a real possibility going into the application season. A student who never really envisioned having to attend their safety may want to take a gap year to work and give themselves time to explore other options.