<p>My D wears a lot of cardigans over other shirts for layering. She claims the girls don’t go to class in hoodies but she wears them hanging out in the dorm. It really varies by school and campus culture, I think. She also requested duck boots for next year as she tried to get by with all leather boots this year and the boots didn’t fare well. </p>
<p>@mathyone, I wish my D had some of the minimalist approach your D has to packing! I agree with you that it is silly to have to ship warm clothes because your D refused to take more than one layering piece. I’m not sure this is the issue I’d go to the mat over at this point, though. She’s probably not going to freeze to death before she comes home at Thanksgiving. Stick one extra warm layer in the car, surreptitiously if you have to, and look forward to the day she says “maybe you were right, I do need some more sweaters at school”. Then you just have to restrain yourself from snapping “I told you so!” . . . </p>
<p>I’m not even getting anywhere with her bringing the layering items she already owns, much less dragging her to a store to buy more. She regards a sweater/fleece/sweatshirt as outerwear and my suggestion that she would want more than one–well, it’s as though I suggested that she might want to bring 15 winter parkas to school.</p>
<p>I had already broached the idea of warm socks and she insists that her rather thin cotton socks are fine. This is a kid who has always been extraordinarily stubborn about clothes. She just doesn’t want to be bothered and would rather be uncomfortable or cold than get the appropriate clothes. I was hoping if I could get some typical numbers she might be convinced that I am not some crazed irrational mom for suggesting that she should have warm socks, plenty of layering items, and heavy weight pants like jeans (another issue there) etc. </p>
<p>Hmm. So it sounds like the problem isn’t really knowing what to wear/bring. It’s more how to persuade her to take/wear it? I have a feeling that telling her what a bunch of parents on a college forum said isn’t going to impress her much.</p>
<p>Do you mind saying what state the college is in? ETA – And also what state she’s in now? Just so we know the temp differential.</p>
<p>If she insists on one item and only one item and no layering… So be it! Unless there are some underlying issues, I would step back and let her figure this out on her own. When she gets cold, she WILL be wearing layers! </p>
<p>It’s not clear she is coming home at Thanksgiving because of the distance and cost. She will be in the northeast.</p>
<p>This is a kid who has a long history of not figuring such things out on her own and not taking action. It is difficult to explain the extent to which she simply does not care about such trivialities as whether her shoes are two sizes too small. </p>
<p>Coming from a warmer climate? Is her one layer sufficient for where she is now?</p>
<p>OP - My advise to all freshman families is “less is more”. Let your D do her own planning. She’ll probably be home before it gets really cold, but if not it’s not a big deal to send a box. </p>
<p>“Pick your battles”. </p>
<p>I would be delighted if she wanted to do her own planning, but I am having to nag her to make a packing list. She just isn’t interested in that sort of thing. If I left her to her own devices she would likely grab a few handfuls of clothes out of her dresser ten minutes before departure and throw them in the back of the car. Did I say dresser? I meant from the crumpled heap on her floor. No, she will not go shopping there. She is allergic to shopping. I am lucky to get her to a store once or twice a year for maybe an hour at most. It’s certainly not my fault that she doesn’t own any jeans or snow boots or a lot of other stuff that most people have.</p>
<p>Then I have to agree with BunsenBurner. When she gets cold enough, she’ll wear more clothes. </p>
<p>I have quite a bit of experience to the contrary. I’m just trying to make sure she has the appropriate clothes to wear. Putting them on is her job but I want to make that as hassle-free as possible in hopes that it will actually happen.</p>
<p>If you are trying to do it all in one trip and just send it with her when you drive her, then yes, she will need to layer more than one sweatshirt at times. Our D went from So. Calif. to the NE, and definitely used layers rather than one bulky jacket to get her thru the coldest days. On the very coldest days, she needed gloves, a scarf and a hat. She had a Northface fleece that she could layer under a bigger jacket if it got cold, and she would add sweatshirts or sweaters as needed. There were times where she wore several layers, so depending on what your D has as her top layer, I would say she would need maybe a Northface fleece type underlayer as well as at least a couple of sweaters or sweatshirts. Once my D was off campus, she and her roommates kept the heat off a lot as it was expensive to run, so needed lots of sweaters to stay warm in their apartment. I would just throw some extra stuff in a bag without telling her and put it in the car. She will thank you later!</p>
<p>Well I think you have a pretty good idea of what she needs. I guess you could ship it, but then how would you make sure she wears it?</p>
<p>Does she have health issues which make it dangerous for her to be cold? </p>
<p>With “serious snow” the sidewalks et are likely to be taken care of in a timely fashion. Experience is the best teacher. She will learn to have more clothes when SHE needs them, not when you think she does. Let her get the reality check- it’s part of growing up.</p>
<p>I put things for college in the dining room as they were purchased (or brought from around the house). Son was young (still 16) and didn’t care about the mundane. It’s a good thing I got the needed stuff. However, the move in day I/we had to tell him he needed to bring ALL of the clothes he wanted to wear, this wasn’t just a week’s vacation… Another point, while parents should be sure the necessities are there they also need to be sure the student also knows they have them. It does no good to have a basic medical kit (Tylenol, thermometer, whatever) and put it away for your child in the dorm room- they need to take charge of what they have. I still remember packing (I’m the get the most into the car person) an oversized pillow I made for lounging- he insisted we take it home on move in day, and then wanted it one week later (we were making another 2 1/2 hour trip for just such tweaking).</p>
<p>It’s a learning curve for everyone. Relax about winter. The cost of sending a box of clothes probably isn’t as great as the trauma of trying to get her to do as you wish in this matter. When she discovers she has to wear the same clothes twice in two days to keep warm when others are still in T shirts and shorts she’ll learn.</p>
<p>If it were me, I’d let her take what she wants, and give her a budget to buy clothes if/when she decides she wants to. She’ll probably be more inclined to do so if it’s her idea than if mom is pushing her. </p>
<p>I have girls who love to shop and often run out of closet space, so I have a different problem. Both of them went to school in upstate NY. They had multiple coats (wool, long down coat, parka), a lot of sweaters, and silk undershirts/pants. </p>
<p>If your kid isn’t into fashion (or adverse to it), I would get one long down coat with a hood. If you could get one which is waterproofed (around the neck and sleeves) would even be better. If she likes one kind of sweater, get her multiples. My kids had to walk long distance to go to class because of large campus, so they had to carry an umbrella, and wear appropriate clothing because they wouldn’t have time to run back to their dorm if the weather should change. So, I would get your kid a waterproof bag.</p>
<p>We live in NY with a teen very much like yours. I carry a change of clothes in my trunk so when we’re out and she discovers that the sweatshirt and thin jeans she chose aren’t actually enough, she has additional options. Since you’re driving, I’d pack some extra layers so she has them. My niece survived NYS winters at college with a pea coat, a down vest, a winter coat, boots, and gloves (for sledding and other outdoor activities), a couple wool sweaters, a scarf or two, wool socks, all weather shoes (like Lands End carries) for sloppy days, and a couple of hooded sweatshirts. Hats and gloves are really important for holding the heat in too. If the cold affects her faster than other people, you may want to toss in a long sleeved silk top and silk pants (we wear them as a foundation layer when we go skiing). If she’s packing for an area like Downstate NY, that would probably be sufficient. If she’s heading for a place further Upstate (or to the Syracuse or Buffalo regions), she will probably need more than that. If she’s like my daughter, there’s a chance she may wear the extra layers if they’re available. If they’re not, she’ll just “deal with it.” But she can’t concentrate when she’s cold, she doesn’t enjoy herself, and I think she’s more likely to get sick. Better to be prepared and be surprised by a mild winter then not and be caught off guard by an early and vicious one.</p>
<p>I think you need to pick your fights - this is a very stressful time for everybody in the family. I vote for letting her take what she wants and then shipping her the rest of the stuff she needs for the cold once she is there, settled in, all parties are calmer, and the cold weather actually starts.</p>
<p>@austinmshauri you’re a nicer mom than me. I’d let D16 be cold. LOL</p>
<p>Once the winter stuff has hit the marketplace, order her a pair of Smartwool footless tights, a winter Smartwool long-sleeved base layer in a fun color and a fun pair of Smartwool socks. Have them sent right to her dorm to avoid any arguments. </p>
<p>Let her figure out her clothing and you focus on the mom stuff like putting together a little medical kit or finding the best memory foam mattress topper.</p>