<p>I think I get what Teri is saying just look at some of the shows on HGTV (House Hunters, My first Place, and several others). The 20-somethings are very money savvy and want top-of-the-line everything. IMO, this mindset has to do with technology making everyone aware of what the WORLD has to offer. My kiddo is only a rising junior but upon graduation, shes more likely to be at Henri Bendels handbag diving with oldforts D than dumpster diving with calmons D and I guess H and I are to blame.</p>
<p>I grew up in a household with 8 kids and we lived paycheck to paycheck (the good weeks). I hated it. There was no borrowing . we just did without. When someone says that type of lifestyle makes you a better person .they lie. I was determined that my kiddo would not spend her young life with the constant worrying about money like I had. Did I overcompensate .probably.</p>
That’s what I thought she meant at first… but I understand the later posts as saying that I was way off base with that assumption. But maybe I’m still just mixed up.</p>
<p>I did’nt raise a designer purse craving D. It’s just not what we are into. And yet she still is worried AND she works hard at her goals. It’s not that we couldnt afford such items, it was just not a concern of hers or ours. H was a costumer in Hollywood who brought plenty of swag home, but high end designer junk was just not something she or we pined over. And I think PLENTY of kids are hard working, worried and it has nothing whatsoever to do with superficial materialist goals. D’s “safety net” (aka the parents") is not as strong as it was since H has been out of work for two years. I think this is her source of motivation AND worry. Not the trips to the mall.</p>
<p>My son is more interested in travel and the club scene than designer goods, although he does like quality things. I think there is a HUGE middle ground between public interest work and not caring about money and Wall Street/investment banking salaries. I personally think I serve a purpose in corporate America and haven’t “sold out” at all, and I enjoy my salary! You don’t have to take a vow of poverty to care about society and want to affect change. My daughter is a Postulant for the priesthood, but she and her husband budget so they can have some nice meals out and some interesting vacations. They enjoy these things.
I think it is a little intimidating to be starting out in a career in this economy- even with a decent job. For the first time (for many of them) they are having to deal with utility bills, commuting costs, car repairs, pet food… At the same time they are still seeing an economy that is not bouncing back very quickly and peers who don’t have jobs.</p>
<p>“the same time they are still seeing an economy that is not bouncing back very quickly and peers who don’t have jobs.”</p>
<p>When one of her friends lost her work and had to move home…it struck terror in the heart of independent D. The horrors of living with Mom and Dad. That furnishes PLENTY of motivation.</p>
<p>Coming in late to this party, and hope to stay out of the line of fire. However, I just wanted to say that sometimes people worry-- whether it seems reasonable to us or not. It doesn’t matter what they worry about-- they worry. And security is often a common thing to worry about. They say (I forget the research article, but I seem to recall reading it somewhere) that the large majority of things people worry about never come to pass. But still they worry… they may get anxious or apprehensive about their grades, their kids, their family, their job, their financial security, their weight, their utility bills, whether they remembered to close the garage door… you name it. </p>
<p>A little worry or apprehension is a good thing. It motivates us to try harder, to do our best, etc. So its possible her dau’s caution is a good thing, not a bad thing.</p>
<p>Please lighten up on Teriwtt. Maybe she posted this because she was just “worrying” a little bit about her dau :)</p>
<p>Oh my gosh! Lighten up, people. Teriwtt’s original post is (IMHO) being twisted and taken out of context. </p>
<p>I think most of us probably had it a lot tougher coming out of college than our kids have/will have it today. They think it’s tough because it is . . .compared to what they are used to. </p>
<p>Our parents probably said the same thing about us (or they would have, if we had complained about it). :)</p>
<p>Thanks jym and sportsmama; it seems many posters here ‘get it’. </p>
<p>This thread has taken many twists and turns, and the one thing I will not let pass is the suggestion that one cannot find the same amount of career satisfaction in the corporate world as they do in non-profit areas. </p>
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<p>Again, people can get paid very well for the things they want to do. I can’t think of a thing H would rather be doing, career-wise. The large pharma he works for has engaged in many social justice issues; in fact, H was asked to serve on one committee that is working with the Bill Gates foundation to further research and develop drugs for neglected diseases in third world countries. I’m sure many other large corporations engage in similar activities. In fact, we’ve sort of joked lately that the CEO must be going through some sort of mid-life crisis because the number of these kinds of projects seems to be increasing lately. Sure, his ultimate responsibility is to the board members and making a profit for the company, but it doesn’t mean he can’t also be involved in social justice issues and make a difference in the world.</p>
<p>^^ Exactly. I find my job very satisfying and I am not on Wall Street. I work for a Fortune 300 corporation and it is a very ethical company and makes a very basic product that is important to our economy (well- not so much right now…). I feel like I contribute to the greater good of society by influencing my co-workers and management. I don’t have to be a step above welfare to feel like I’m adding value to our world. I have one kid who has chosen a path of service (priesthood) and one who aspires to make some big $$$. I hope he can do that while recognizing the need to “do the next right thing”.</p>
<p>I never said that and I never said anything like that. </p>
<p>I said that I personally did not relate to your concerns because my experience was different.</p>
<p>I feel that you have shown a contemptuous attitude toward me and my family because we chose to work in lower paid areas because of the perceived value of our work. </p>
<p>I wrote that in the context of not getting the concept of expecting youngsters to “kick back” and not worry about money. </p>
<p>You can go round and round about the value or job satisfaction you may get from jobs that provide $$$$$$$ – but the reality is that when you start the job search by looking at listings under "nonprofit’ in Craigslist or pulling listings from Idealist.org, you won’t find any Fortune 500 countries or big pharm hiiring.</p>
<p>And while it appears that your answer to that is that we should simply eschew all those nonprofit endeavors in favor of some better paying work… where would all those nonprofits be without dedicated and intelligent college grads and professionals willing to work for what those agencies are able to pay?</p>
<p>And come to think about it… where would your kids be without the many highly educated individuals who made the choice to live on a teachers salary?</p>
<p>calmom - you’re not getting it. Go back and read my post that explains that I currently work in non-profit. H works in pharma. We both have wonderful job satisfaction, but neither one of us claims to have it better than the other… it takes both kinds. And guess where some of the larger grants for our non-profit come from??? Big pharma (as well as many other large corporations). So don’t claim they aren’t involved in non-profit work. They may not show up on craigslist or idealist, but they do contribute to non-profit causes and activities. In fact, I overheard a conversation today from one of our finance officers who spent weeks pursuing money from United Way. The money they ended up giving was about 50% of what was originally promised, and it came with so many restrictions that she said it was hardly worth going after.</p>
<p>Interesting comment about teachers. The folks who teach around here are paid quite well. And get nice pensions. And some of them spend their summers at the pool. Don’t get me wrong, I DO appreciate them, but I don’t think money worries are at the top of their list. </p>
<p>Hey different strokes for different folks. I used to work for an IB and some of my colleagues escaped a while back and are now working for non-profits. They spent a few years making the big bucks and are now doing something more satisfying. But I think IB is unusual. Most corporate jobs are not that crazy and don’t pay out that kind of cash. And I work with plenty of corporate folks who generously give their time to charity…with the encouragement of their company. So I don’t see this as as a good or bad kind of choice. It depends…</p>
<p>Back to the original post. I think it’s common for young adults just starting out to have some anxiety about money. And the state of our economy contributes. And the media and their rich peers also contribute to them expecting more. It can be annoying but it’s not a big deal. The original post seemed to be an observation…nothing more. Most of our kids are just normal folks, not saints.</p>
<p>Its fascinating the turns threads will take. Seems that when parents are just looking for a little moral support and a few parents to say “yes I know exactly how you feel”, sometimes some posters take it as an opportunity to be critical of them or opine about their parenting styles. </p>
<p>Anyone remember esobay’s thread a few months ago when her DS was not getting as many positive results from college apps as they’d hoped? People were are all over her like a bad toupe</p>
<p>Along those lines jym, who here (raise your hands) was told early on that you should have six months worth of salary (not tied up in a CD, etc.) set aside, in case the dreaded situation such as what happened to your son occurs? I know we were, and every time someone suggested it, I’d roll my eyes and think, “You have no idea. It just ain’t going to happen.” And it didn’t happen for many, many, many years after H got his first real job out of grad school. I don’t know if they’re still hawking that advice, but if you’re a 20-something money-savvy new grad, advice like this can add to your worries. Because I knew it just wasn’t possible for us to do, I didn’t really worry about something that was so unattainable and unrealistic. </p>
<p>D has heard our stories of how strapped we were during her early years, and has commented that she doesn’t want to start a family that way. Which is fine… it’s her choice. Our priority (at least mine) was to have my kids at a young age, even when it meant things would be tight. </p>
<p>It was funny… she was bored at work a couple of days ago and called me to chat… one of those rare conversations that runs the 45-minute mark. I was filling her in on all the news I had heard of about kids she’d gone to high school with (which I usually get after running into their parents somewhere). About a month ago, I learned that her confirmation teacher’s daughter (who was in the same class with her) is now on her second or third stint in prison and he has assumed guardianship of her 8-year old daughter (which she had at age 16). Nicest man in the world - his two other kids turned out so incredibly healthy, but this one bucked the system from a young age and has had issues with drugs, crime to support them, etc. Anyway, after a while she said, “See what good kids you had.” And I told her, “Yes, I am very grateful.” She, “Glad to hear it.” Me, “As you should be grateful that you had me as a mother.” And she said she definitely was. </p>
<p>Yea, it’s moments like that which temporarily erase all the ‘perceived’ difficulties we go through in raising our children.</p>
<p>When I was in grad school, I took my student loan $$ and put it in a very high interest bearing account (think Carter years) to stretch those dollars as far as I could. I tried to put some money into savings when I started my first job, but it wasn’t easy. I was furnishing my apartment, paying back my student loan, etc but was able to save enough to put down a down payment on a townhouse. Fortunately I married someone who had been able to save a lot of $$ during college and his years in the military so we had a nice savings started. </p>
<p>I cannot emphasize enough how reassuring it has been to have that financial cushion from the get-go. We have emphasized this with both s’s and they have come to greatly appreciate the benefit of savings and cashflow/liquidity. So, coming back to the OP’s initial concern, if her dau is being careful with her funds, living within her means, putting money away in savings and still expresses concern that she is worried about finances, I want to adopt her!! That, or introduce her to my s’s!</p>
<p>BTW-- sidebar-- DS has 1 or 2 interviews and 2 phone interviews lined up, so things are starting to move along.</p>
<p>jym - I’ve often thought the same thing… my daughter has always had an affinity to young, good looking, successful, Jewish men (actually both Ds have - probably had to do with some of their best friends being Jewish and attending schools that have large Jewish student populations).</p>
<p>“… was told early on that you should have six months worth of salary …” which is easily done by setting aside 8.5% of your salary monthly for two years. Other good advice along the same lines:</p>
<ul>
<li>put 15% of your salary into a retirement plan</li>
<li>give 10%</li>
<li>put at least 10% into an account devoted to raising down payment for a house</li>
<li>no more than 30% should be devoted to rent</li>
<li>hold auto costs to no more than 15% of salary</li>
<li>no more than 20% should be used for non-rent/non-vehicle living expenses</li>
<li>devote 25% to paying off your student loans until they’re paid</li>
<li>don’t forget that social security and medicare taxes consume 9%</li>
<li>don’t forget to allow for state and federal income taxes</li>
<li>and very important … keep some money aside to have fun in your life.</li>
</ul>
<p>Gee, those only total 150% of income. What did I leave out???</p>