My younger daughter and her BF have been dating since junior year of high school. They went to different high schools and different colleges (she got into his college, but I was a “no” on her choosing it just because he was going there. She didn’t fight me on it.) I think it was great that they went to different colleges had their own experiences, made their own friends, etc. They still managed to take turns seeing each other at least once a month (mostly twice a month) and they went to the same city (but different programs and living spaces) for a semester study abroad.
They graduated in 2025, have jobs in the same city and now live together. I have no problem with it because rent in our city is expensive, and it would make no sense to be paying 2 rents. I’ve long since made peace with the fact that they are each other’s “lobster” and they want to be together. DH is a much harder sell on the living together part. He’s still not thrilled about it but he keeps silent.
He would have been a HARD NO for them living together while still in undergrad (and we paid her rent and expenses, so…)
DH and I met freshman year of college. We never officially lived together but we cohabitated, usually at his apt. since I lived in a sorority house. I remind him of this when he voices opposition to the living together. I also remind him that D and her BF will be 23 soon and DH & I were married at 23. I also point out that my older D and her then-boyfriend/now husband lived together for three years after college before getting married and there was no opposition to that.
Anyhow, I had the same concerns as you about them having their own friends, interests, etc., but they do a great job of balancing time together with doing their own things outside of their couple-ness. It may help that they live in their hometown, and both have family here and many friends from childhood who have come back after to college to live here.
The boss issue may be the only sticky thing, but it would be sticky even if they weren’t living together and broke up.