<p>holliesue and momjr, congratulations to your kids!
I don’t know much about Alfred (don’t they have a famous ceramics program?) or Elizabethtown or the other SUNY schools, but everyone that I know at Pitt is very, very happy. Pittsburgh is the country’s best-kept secret, but the secret is getting out! As I have said before, the community is incredibly supportive of Hillel/JUC (that stands for Jewish University Center) and of Pitt. There is a true spirit of collaboration and cooperation at Pitt and CMU, and even between Pitt and CMU.</p>
<p>cherryhillmomto2, please do not be offended by the nurse’s questions. Questions about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs (affectionately called “ATOD” by health professionals) AND about sexual activity, suicidality and self-mutilation, and about school performance, friends and activities are all normal parts of adolescent care and the nurse would be remiss NOT to ask about this. The nurse is not labeling your child; she or he probably asks any child these questions when confronted with a situation like this. I agree, however, that the teacher should have been in touch with you if your child has been sleepy in class for a long time. I would also ask how much sleep he is getting, how much exercise, and whether he has a TV in the room where he sleeps (health care professionals recommend against this), and even whether the school work is challenging enough. If there is no obvious answer to the fatigue, a medical evaluation is warranted.</p>
<p>northeastmom, I am a nurse practitioner and you would be shocked at what kids tell me, even kids that I just met. Drugs, sex, suicidal thoughts, abuse - both as perpetrator and victim, you name it. Kids want help and if someone perceived as able to help asks, they will tell.</p>
<p>playing devil’s advocate here: the nurse may have been referring to prescription drugs that tend to cause drowsiness? quite a few do…</p>
<p>…I almost chuckled when I read your post (but then realized you were upset), since my 17 yr old has been complaining about falling asleep in class all through HS at one time or another…</p>
<p>levirm, but in school there is the factor of suspension, expulsion, telling on friends, etc. so I would have thought that most kids would not confide in any school staff member. Have you worked as a school nurse and had children admit to you that they have substance abuse problem?</p>
<p>holliesue, I meant to chime in about Alfred and Elizabethtown. I know a freshman at Alfred and her Mom cannot say enough good things about it. So much so that after our last get together I went right to the computer to see if they possibly had my son’s intended major. Sadly, they do not. We used to live close to the College - it’s just beautiful up there! I also know a couple of people that graduated from Elizabethtown and both loved it and graduated within four years. Another pretty area! </p>
<p>edit, I see that you live pretty close to Alfred - you are already in the pretty area!</p>
<p>Cherryhillmom I’m sorry that you’re feeling so distressed. I would have hoped the teacher would have mentioned it earlier, especially if your son doesn’t have a medical issue on file. I know my own son went to school the last two years on strong pain medication due to surgeries but the teachers were alerted beforehand that he could be in a daze. </p>
<p>If you can rule out your son staying up late at night reading or watching tv may I suggest you have him tested for anemia. This year was supposed to be my son’s “healthy year” at school but he was extremely tired. It turns out he was very anemic and had an underlying medical condition which he is now being treated for. Until the symptoms for the medical condition presented I just assumed he was a normal kid who was overextending himself.</p>
<p>Not a college acceptance but boychild got the internship he applied for at the county court. </p>
<p>Cherryhill, just because the nurse asked your son about drug use doesn’t mean he will be labeled as such. I would be way more concerned about him falling asleep in class than what the nurse might have asked him.</p>
<p>Cherryhillmom: I’m sorry that this was sprung on you. I understand that your’re upset and offended, but it sounds like you need to figure how why your son is so tired in class. Other posters have made good suggestions about possible sleep issues or medical concerns. On the other hand, you son might just be tired and bored. Good luck sorting this out. Feel free to vent to us.</p>
<p>Calming down a bit! I think what has me riled is the lack of communication and the lack of responsibility that lies with the teacher. They don’t contact me about failing grades, sleeping in class “ongoing” -passed it off to they nurse, but they do contact me to tell me wearing soccer slides is not in accordance with the dress code! More frustrated than concerned. Son is perfectly healthy - I have him checked all the time because he fails in school all the time. It’s stupid errors that the teachers refuse to correct, or a teacher leaves mid year and we have a long term horrible sub! The kid has never gotten a break. :(</p>
<p>In regards to Alfred - my brother went there. Loved it. Very remote and rural but really has a strong Ceramic engineering program. Highly recommend.</p>
<p>Cherry Hill, have you considered putting your son in a private school? I had to pull my son from public school as it just wasn’t working for him. Your son might do better in a school with smaller class sizes and regular contact with parents. For instance, at my son’s school progress reports come out every three weeks and report cards three weeks after that, so it is much easier to know if your child is in need of help.</p>
<p>Congratulations to your son on the internship, emilybee!</p>
<p>Northeast mom: Yes, kids tell me these things when I am assigned to a school setting (once to twice a week through a partnership). They are more likely to tell me, though, if they haven’t been through the administration of the school with the problem before they come to me. </p>
<p>Cherryhillmom, this sounds so frustrating! I hope that you are able to voice your concerns about communication to the teacher and work together to support your son. You really are on the same side as the teacher, but it takes communication! Regular progress reports (every two weeks) might help with the accountability.
Regarding the medical evaluations that you have sought - were they also because of sleeping, or is the sleeping a new issue?</p>
<p>cherryhill - how about setting up a meeting with the teacher and/or school counselor? I generally think a situation like this calls for a face-to-face talk - rather than e-mail or phone. You said he is in middle school - in my experience that means different teachers throughout the day - are they all reporting the same behavior? Or are you saying he has the one teacher the entire day? I think this sounds like a situation that can be resolved - you just need more information from both your son and the teacher in question as to what is actually taking place. Hope you get it cleared up soon.</p>
<p>My daughter got her second acceptance to Towson yesterday. She likes Towson, but would prefer to go farther from home. Now we wait until mid-december for BU and NEU.</p>
<p>CHM: I hope you are feeling better today. Here are my suggestions about this. As others have said you should conference with the teacher. First try and set any anger aside, acknowledge that the teacher is busy and you appreciate her taking the time to visit with you and then let her know that you want to be a part of the team to correct the problem. Discuss what she sees as the issues, what exactly she is seeing in your S and come up with a clear plan with her about how you will follow up. Let her know that you will follow up with her in a stated period of time and then do so. You can say that you were disappointed about not being notified because you really want to be involved but don’t allow this to be an emotional meeting rehashing your frustration. Another way of stating your dissatisfaction with the way she handled this was by telling her that it was worrisome to you to get a call from the nurse and it would have been better if you had a heads up from her first so you would not have been surprised by a call from the nurse. Keep the personal issues aside and make it a business meeting about solving a problem. If it seems that counselor intervention might help beyond your meeting then you might go that route as well. I have found this type of strategy to work with my own kids. If your son is frequently failing in MS this may be a good time to probe the reasons for that. It would be great for him and you if he could stay in the plus column when in HS. My S was not failing but had focus/distraction issues all of his life. At his request I had him evaluated this summer and he was diagnosed with mild ADD. I’m still watching to see how his performace has changed now that he is taking medication but what I do see is that he is more aware of his disorganization because of the diagnosis and is therefore more open to working on the problems. I hope this helps.</p>
<p>The acceptance letters are rolling in! It’s very exciting.</p>
<p>I am keeping calm. Thank you everyone for your kind words. I think its time to explore private options - we are going to look for another year of 8th grade and then private high school.</p>