<p>Saw the thread that it is unethical to double deposit. My son said he wants to wait to hear from UT Dallas before making his final college decision. Isn’t it unethical to deposit housing $$ before final decision is made in case my son changes his mind? It is very early and not everyone has their acceptances.</p>
<p>Levrim:</p>
<p>I grew up completely opposite of you. I was the one who grew up with hardly any Jewish kids at my schools…one synagogue for several surrounding communities. My mom had 4 daughters and she instilled the love of Judiasm in us by sending us to hebrew school, all had bat mitzvahs, all had confirmations, all were active in Young Judaea and went to Jewish camps including Tel Yehuda…I spent a 3 month summer in Israel when I was in college…all 4 of us married Jewish men, so my mom clearly did something right.</p>
<p>Now, I live in a very active Jewish community and my kids have grown up with many Jewish friends and also gone to Jewish camps. They have also been teen aides at our local synagogue, active in hebrew h.s. and in USY…hopefully whatever foundation they have received will be enough to continue the tradition for the next generation! :)</p>
<p>mdcissp, I saw that thread too and thought that it was interesting. The gist of it, though, seems to be that people felt that putting in a housing deposit “just in case” is not unethical, but putting in a tuition deposit is, especially if you were to inform the college of another decision by May 1st.
I think that you have special circumstances in regard to your son’s need for a single room. Perhaps you could just call the housing office at Towson and ask what the best course of action is, then document that discussion for your records. I would call rather than email.</p>
<p>CCC: I’m one of 4 sisters who all married Jewish men also. My mother considers it her greatest accomplishment!</p>
<p>Mdcissp: Housing deposits and attendence deposits are two separate things. It is unethical to double deposit for attendence, but not for housing.</p>
<p>Oops…in re-reading some of the most recent posts, I think it was Spectrum2 I was referring to and not Levirm, sorry for the mistake! Anyway, interesting stuff of how we all got to this place in our lives!</p>
<p>momjr:</p>
<p>what a coincidence! what number are you? I’m number 2.</p>
<p>mdcissp, it’s not the same thing. No one will be denied admission or put on the waiting list because of a housing deposit. Nor for that matter, will they be denied housing. Those things are always decided, shuffled, moved around and open up later. But in many schools, the prime or specific rooming accomodations needed, will be gone. Later on, if he changes his mind, someone else will merely be told a single room has openned up or be surprized when they get one.</p>
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<p>Kudos to you and your parents, chocchipcookie, for instilling this identity. Actually, I spent my teenage years like you - in a place with very few Jews, but very geographically isolated and without the opportunities to participate in youth organizations and the like, and now my kids are growing up in a strong Jewish community. I also was fortunate to have parents who placed an enormous emphasis on Jewish identity, and I had the double advantage of having my immigrant, heimishe grandfather in the home, who constantly told stories of the old country and his extraordinary journey to America. It is interesting to contrast our experiences with that of our kids! I think, though, that times are different now and it takes even more effort to carry on our heritage.</p>
<p>CCC - I am also the second of four daughters! Funny. Only three of us married, all to Jewish men.</p>
<p>Wow, Seiclan, that’s cool. Sister #3 just married three years ago in her 40’s and will not be having children…we’ll have to compare notes with momjr re: growing up with three sisters! :)</p>
<p>Levrim: That must have been awesome having your grandfather live with you, what an experience on so many levels!</p>
<p>I’ve got to run, everyone…catch you all later! :)</p>
<p>Seiclan and CCC: I’m sister #3. I’m still close with all my sisters. Fortunately, I will get to see them all in the next few days. We have a lot of girls in my family. 6 of my mother’s 8 grandchildren are girls.</p>
<p>So many different experiences here! I grew up conservative and there was nothing fun about it. I had my Jewish identity but that was it. None of the three sibs married someone Jewish – although my H has a Jewish stepfather (and Orthodox step-brother!) and was quick to convert (and has since served on our temple Board of Directors). He’s a good egg when it comes to this :)</p>
<p>I was intent on doing things differently with my kids - although I did make the mistake of buying my house in the same town where I grew up. It wasn’t that Jewish back then, and is much less so now. Handful of Jewish kids in the HS. One good thing I did was switch over to reform (more comfortable for H) and sent my kids to a URJ camp. D went to Israel with NFTY in 08, S is going next summer. Both kids are fully entrenched in their Jewish circles (from camp), with D minoring in Jewish studies (so far) at college. S in a confirmation class at our temple now (only three other kids in it) and on the same night goes to a youth group at another temple about 1/2 hr away (two good friends from camp are there). It makes for a late night on the Mondays we do the youth group in addition to the confirmation class, but he loves it (and how can I complain).</p>
<p>My kids watched me battle with the schools for “Jewish rights” as they grew up – No, my son does NOT want to make a blue wreath – I hope they choose more Jewish neighborhoods when the time comes for them. I have a good feeling about that…</p>
<p>P.S. The irony this year: we are going to my brother’s house in Boston for family Chanukah party (ok with me as long as their X-mas tree isn’t up yet) and Xmas eve is going to be at my house (no tree or anything!) bc H’s biological family is going to be in town… that’s another long story). Should I make latkes for that night? LOL.</p>
<p>mdcissp - I want to second the advice you have rcvd to call Towson and discuss the best way to get your son a single room. I also see nothing wrong with putting in a housing deposit now - that is not the same as double depositing with 2 schools. If your son later decides to attend a college other than Towson - so you notify them and see if the housing deposit is refundable - you would not have 2 deposits in at the same time - and really in your case - you have extenuating circumstances anyway.</p>
<p>Happy Thanksgiving everyone. If you are traveling - please travel safely. If you are staying home - enjoy the extra rest. If you are Yabeyabe - enjoy the clowning around!</p>
<p>I won’t be going far for Thanksgiving dinner, Rockvillemom, but my son will be flying back for the weekend from school in Michigan tomorrow morning. I hope he has an iPod full of music to deal with the lines and likely delays.</p>
<p>As a side note, The Choice blog in the Times has an article on the ways to derail college selection and emphasizes how unimportant prestige is vs the right fit. </p>
<p>[4</a> Sure-Fire Ways to Derail Your College Search - NYTimes.com](<a href=“4 Sure-Fire Ways to Derail Your College Search - The New York Times”>4 Sure-Fire Ways to Derail Your College Search - The New York Times)</p>
<p>I just learned yesterday evening that a very bright very dear nephew flunked out at Middlebury. How proud his parents were when he got in. Yes, prestigious but absolutely the wrong fit and wrong place for him. He floundered and is now back home.</p>
<p>Great article - thanks for posting. I agree wholeheartedly about fit. That’s one of the reasons I love our thread - we are collectively looking for schools that fit our “B” students and are not obsessing over the top 20. There are so many “hidden gems” out there - a vast selection of colleges waiting for students to look beyond HYP and discover the possibilities.</p>
<p>It’s interesting how we come to this place in our lives as Jews and Jewish Moms! Im from an interfaith family. I chose to be Jewish when I was 13 and then was confirmed in our Reform Temple. I married a non Jew with the assurance that our Children would be Jewish(my Rabbi married us). NFTY and URJ Camp Kutz helped form my Jewish Identity and were instrumental in the choices I make as a parent today. FF to now, Im on the Board of our Temple and a Youth Advisor. My eldest is on the NFTY Regional Board and my youngest is in Religious school and starting at a URJ Camp this summer.
We live in a community with very few year round Jews and my son has always been the “expert” in anything Jewish at all his schools. I too have Christmas as my mother in law comes to our house and its just fine…whatever gets you through!!</p>
<p>Hillel Update
SU Hillel started off the new year with Rosh Hashana services and celebrations in September. Hillel also had a welcoming Jewish Community Barbeque at the Hillel House. Students ob-served Yom Kippur and had a delicious break fast afterwards. After Hillel kicked off the new year, a brand new sukkah was built in front of Degenstein Center. Fun events were held each night throughout the week of the holiday. To recap, Sushi in the Sukkah brought rainy weather, but it was still a success! On Shabbat during Family Weekend, students and their families enjoyed Shabbat dinner together.</p>
<p>This year, Hillel is starting to have First Friday Shabbat services and dinner on the first Friday of each month. November’s Shabbat will be held on Friday, November 5 at 6:00 pm at the Hillel House. Services start promptly at six and dinner immediately follows. First-year students are encouraged to attend as well as other interested students. All are welcome!
Look out for more news from Hillel this semester!</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.susqu.edu/documents/StudentLife/Newsletter_fall2010.pdf[/url]”>http://www.susqu.edu/documents/StudentLife/Newsletter_fall2010.pdf</a></p>
<p>Nice to see the level of Hillel activity is increasing. Still on S2’s list - and I recommend it to anyone looking for a smaller private school with a wide selection of majors, beautiful campus and a very high level of personal attention.</p>
<p>I grew up in a very Jewish town. You were either Jewish or Catholic. As a little kid I thought most people were Jewish! Ended up going to a college that was about 30% Jewish, so I was still living in my little Jewish bubble! The town I live in now is very diverse, but still a very large proportion of Jews. When I look at my kids elementary school pictures, I would say the classes were at least 30% Jewish and 30% Asian. My kids also don’t have any idea of what it is to be in the minority. They both go to Jewish sleepaway camp, which I think is a fabulous Jewish identity builder. They have friends of all races and faiths. But it is important for them to go to a college with a decent Jewish population. I don’t think that they want to leave the “bubble” of being one of many. Can’t say I blame them. I love levirm’s description of the Pittsburgh community.</p>
<p>I enjoyed the article also. Most of us on this thread have put a lot of time and energy trying to find the best fit for our kids. When things don’t work out at a college, it’s usually because of academic issues or friend issues. There’s an interesting thread on here written by parents of college of freshmen who are unhappy. In most cases, it’s because they haven’t found their “tribe.” </p>
<p>I think it’s interesting how many people mention Jewish youth groups and camps as the main factors connecting their kids to Judaism.</p>
<p>The Yaschik/Arnold Jewish Studies Program will team up again with the City of Charleston’s Office of Cultural Affairs, Chabad of the Lowcountry, and many other community organizations to create our most festive Chanukah in the Square ever, in part because this year, College of Charleston students will still be in town to partake of the celebration. Last year, we prepared over 500 pounds of potato latkes, so 600 pounds is this year’s goal. Our local Holocaust survivors will continue the tradition of lighting the candles. Please plan on being there with your neighbors, friends, and family. Bring an appetite and your dancing shoes. We will supply the food and the music!</p>
<p><a href=“http://events.postandcourier.com/charleston-sc/events/show/153437985-chanukah-in-the-square[/url]”>http://events.postandcourier.com/charleston-sc/events/show/153437985-chanukah-in-the-square</a></p>