<p>RM, my cousin’s son enlisted after graduating university 3 years ago, served actively in Iraq, lost many pounds and became muscular. He returned safely, was the hero of our Passover table, then went to work in D.C. on staff of a liberal congressman and is just fine. </p>
<p>When away, his mom worried every day, naturally. If they return unharmed physically, it’s just a deep sigh of relief. I’m sure he endured great mental pressure but managed it somehow. Today he’s the same wonderful boy he always was, no wait: more wonderful and mature.</p>
<p>I also have a h.s. friend whose son was killed in Fallujah. There are no words for that.</p>
<p>Good for you for congratulating your cousin’s choice; he needs to hear that from family.</p>
<p>RM, My FA served in Air Force as did my mom. Mom recalls someone asking to see her “horns”. She was first Jewish person this woman had met.</p>
<p>I have 2 friends whose sons joined Israeli army. Son’s close friend went thru Naval Academy. I worry for all of them and their families, but the parents proud (& worried).</p>
<p>I think it is great that your cousin is going to serve in the Air Force. He will get wonderful benefits for military service plus a lot of good work experience. Your family should feel proud that he wants to be productive.</p>
<p>My friends step son has served two tours in Iraq. He is a student at RPI but also in the National Guard so had to go when they called him up. </p>
<p>My niece’s boyfriend was in the Army and did intelligence. I haven’t talked to him about his experience but he told me if my son ever started to even think about it to have boychild talk to him and he would talk him out of it. He is out now and the military is paying the bill for him to go to law school but if he had to do it all over he would never have joined. </p>
<p>My neighbors son dropped out of college in 2002 and joined the Marines. He was sent to Iraq and was in Fallujah. He can barely speak about it. He’s married now and from what hear doing well.</p>
<p>RVM: It has to be one of the most difficult choices for a mom who is not of a military background to deal with but a very honorable one. Congratulations to your cousin. Here there is a very strong tradition of military service for many families and kids at all levels of academic success and financial status choose military life. I know it isn’t a choice that I would make for my kids but one that I hope I would respect, honor and be proud of. </p>
<p>CCC: I hope that my kids have some memories along those lines that they will cherish. It is wonderful that you have such beautiful memories. I hope your mom’s strength and wisdom help her to continue to progress on the journey back to the person you know she is. </p>
<p>With regard to tree envy. I don’t know that my S’s ever had it. It could be because they are boys and seem to be a whole lot less dazzled by things like that than I was. One thing that I learned from my gentile friends is that many Christian families do a lot to instill love of faith in their kids by making holidays like Christmas so much fun. We made a point of celebrating Chanukah all 8 days with candles, song, stories, chocolate gelt, dreidle games and something special if not huge to unwrap each night. Chanukah has been a much bigger deal in our house than it was for me growing up. </p>
<p>Thank you all for your opinions on military service. I feel bad that my cousin and aunt are so upset about my young cousin’s plans - but I think this is a good choice for him. He is the kind of kid who has been very lacking in direction - very badly impacted by his parents’ bitter divorce - and I think this could really be a turning point for him. Of course I am worried for his safety, but I am also very proud of his decision and will now walk the fine line of supporting him without antagonizing my other relatives who oppose his choice.</p>
<p>I think his decision is also interesting from a cultural perspective - I know most young Israelis serve in the military - but in the US - I know very few young Jewish adults who enter the military. I think there is a lot of emphasis on college and grad school - “my son the doctor” - “my grandson the attorney” and so forth - not too much encouragement for a military stint. It’s actually something I have given little thought to - other than being thankful that there is no draft - which I guess is somewhat selfish. </p>
<p>So, I’m really excited for my cousin and I’m eager to see where this new path takes him.</p>
<p>Thanks, College. It was indeed cold but clear when we finished–and light flurries on the drive home! Left lots of smiling faces behind us (although the clydesdale horses and Kermit balloon behind us distracted much of the attention!</p>
<p>A very happy Thanksgiving to all and I too am thankful for all of the supportive people on this thread!</p>
<p>Rockvillemom, we should all be grateful to your cousin and to all of the men and women who serve in our military. That being said, your cousin and aunt will need a lot of emotional support. You are right that you are walking a fine line! If you care to share your cousin’s address at some point, how about if we all send Hamentaschen in time for Purim from the Jewish B thread!
Not to introduce another worry into the situation, but I am wondering if your young cousin has any specific plans about maintaining his Jewish identity while in the Air Force. He made need some extra mental “ammunition” given the climate, and a little bit of advance preparation might be helpful for him given what is described in this article:
[DOJ:</a> No Evidence Anyone ‘Affected’ By Widespread Proselytizing in Military | The Public Record](<a href=“Free Public Records Search - PubRecord.org”>Free Court Records)
Actually, one of our local rabbis was successful, as a liason to the military, in preventing Messianic “rabbis” from being approved as military chaplains. </p>
<p>Yabeyabe, I’m glad that it did not rain on your parade!</p>
<p>Thanksgiving is a great holiday! I am stuffed!</p>
<p>Yabe, how many miles did you walk? So whatever calories you lost during the walk, you made up for when you got home? :)</p>
<p>Thanks Spectrum and Levrim for the good wishes, re: my mom. My H & my lives have been sooo stressful for so long, I don’t even know what it’s like to have a normal, boring lifestyle!</p>
<p>College4three: I think I went to TY for two years as a teenager…I went to so many overnight camps starting at such an early age…my parents sent me when I was very young, @age7 or so. I don’t think my kids went until they were a bit older. I have fond memories of singing tons of Israeli songs in the hadorohel…the dining hall…banging on the table singing the berkat hamazon…the color war camps between the aleph and bet camps…I may have done ulpan the second year, I just don’t remember!</p>
<p>RVM, I have no clue about anything to do with the air force…it’s very foreign to me, so I can’t comment on it. However, it seems as if it may be good for your cousin in terms of discipline and direction. But, I too would be worried since this is wartime. I wish him the best of luck and your family too in dealing with this issue.</p>
<p>emilybee: you’re right about the leftovers! Next year we’ll have to have Thanksgiving at our home or make sure we make a small quantity the next day so we can keep eating all the good stuff! Yum.</p>
<p>Thanks Hollie.
Choc, the parade route is about 2 1/2 miles, but I do a lot of running back and forth, depending on where the most kids are (and I go away from the areas with the VIP seating to the side which is open to the public. Still, I am sure it was a net weight gain day!</p>
<p>Thank you all for your good wishes for my cousin - I will share more details when I know where he is being sent and when. </p>
<p>I also want to send good luck wishes to everyone out there who has an ED application pending - I know how stressful the waiting is - went through it 2 years ago with S1 - so best of luck to everyone.</p>
<p>I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Ours was great. I really appreciated being with family, especially my nieces and nephews who have grown up very nicely.</p>
<p>Yabe: I thought of you during the parade. I hope you weren’t too cold. </p>
<p>RVM: Your cousin has made an admirable choice. I hope it works out well for him. A friend’s son just finished four years in the Marines. She worried about him everyday, but she is very proud of him.</p>
<p>Thanks for the support about the ED wait. Thanksgiving has been a good diversion. It was nice for my daughter to get family congratulations for her acceptances. I’m almost sorry that we didn’t keep the ED ap quiet, in case things don’t go well.</p>
<p>Thanks momjr, the cold was not bad–it was harder to transition from being the object of adoring childen and tourists seeking photo ops to my home role as “Dad, the embarassing idiot who is only useful when I need a ride or money.”</p>
<p>Levirim, people reading your post who do not actually read the article you cited may be inadvertantly misled: the statement that no one has been affected by the rampant (and not even disputed) proselyzing in the military is not the finding of any court or body. It is just the argument being advanced by the DOJ on behalf of the government. I was once an attorney for the DOJ in DC and can state that it is required to argue affirmatively on behalf of the positions of the gov’t agencies it represents. It is the gov’t’s lawyer.</p>
<p>The son of a member of my shul attended the Air Force Academy and was subjected to intense and mandatory evangelical religious sessions and proselytizing. Even more insidiously, it is a key to advancing in the military, at least it was in the Air Force. This is a real problem and given the growth of the religious right in this country a growing one which is largely unchecked in the services. A group of people concerned about their childrens’ access to Jewish life in college, should be no less concerned about it for those of our children who may go to the military.</p>
<p>And while there are certainly valid, praiseworthy, noble and personally enriching reasons for joining the military, we should not hesitate to point out to our children that are also equally valid, praiseworthy and personally enriching reasons for serving your country in other ways, via government sponsored teaching, community service and even traditional careers in non military government service.</p>
<p>mhc48 - oh my. My family members are - at this point - upset that he has joined the Air Force for reasons pertaining to his safety - the issue of his being Jewish has not even come up. He did the Birthright trip to Israel while in college - so I’m assuming his Judaism is important to him. I know nothing about the Air Force - if one joins as a college grad - do you actually go to the academy? That was not my impression of what he is doing. I’m keeping my mouth shut for now - my cousin is too upset to discuss this latest concern.</p>
<p>To be fair, I should have said, RVM that my knowledge of this was confined to the revelations and law suits in 2005 -07 which I haven’t followed up on since leaving that synagogue. And to the best of my knowledge had to do with cadets at the Academy, selection for which is like West Point and the Naval Academy and so did not have anything (that I know of) to do with OCS. You could google air force evangelical proselytizing… or maybe you’d be better off not.</p>
