Colleges for the Jewish "B" student (Part 1)

Parents Forum
4741

<p>chocchipcookie…I used to consider my S1 to be pretty anti-social, but as he became more involved in school, his social life evolved from there. He rarely went to the movies w/ other kids, etc., but spent a lot of time at school working in the theater or robotics, so essentially school became his social life. I’m trying to get my S2 more involved in school also, but he really isn’t that interested, but is more “traditionally” social than his older brother. By Jr. yr, S1 found a group of kids w/ similar interests that he would go out to the movies w/ or get together at a home…it just took time.</p>

<p>I am hoping that academically, school will improve for S2. Already, he doesn’t “hate” school like he did in middle school, but it’s still hard for him to do well. Although so far, he’s doing better than he did last year. I’m pretty worried about midterms coming up…he doesn’t tend to do well on large, comprehensive tests. But, he’ll do the best he can. Hoping he can manage to keep things above a 3.0 (he wan’t happy to learn that a B- is less than a 3.0.</p>

4742

<p>My D1 had an “OK” social life in HS. She usually had a BF, and actually still has the one she was friends with all through HS and started dating senior year. They’ve made it work all through her 4th year of college, at schools 1000 miles apart. </p>

<p>But she never had any lasting other friends; now when she comes home to visit, she literally has no one to get together with, except the BF. She’s “friendly” with his friends, whom she knew in HS, but just can’t seem to become close to any of them. I find it sad that she came out of HS with no friends.</p>

<p>HOWEVER - she went to a college where she was an excellent fit, and she has many, many wonderful friends there. She went on a study abroad - and has many, many wonderful friends from that. She’s done internships - ditto. She just wasn’t a good fit for our HS, for whatever reason. </p>

<p>D2 has more friends from HS, has had a wonderful social life (without being what I’d call “popular”). She has people over, she goes out, she has sleepovers and kids dropping in at all hours. She has a very nice BF, but doesn’t depend on him for all of her social interactions. Plus I’m happy with the friends she’s found: smart, fun, nice kids. I know she didn’t change herself or settle for less just so she could have a social life, thank goodness. This has come after practically friend-free middle school years - in our district, that is; she had some friends in outside activities (thank goodness).</p>

<p>I’m guessing when she’s home for breaks she’ll have lots of people to call. I’m assuming she’ll have friends in college, because she’s looking for fit very carefully, too. </p>

<p>For the record, D1 was a top student, and D2 has had to build her B+ GPA throughout HS. Some of this was personality, and some was the group of kids they were in school with. It’s been a puzzlement to me. I’m very glad that D1 has friends now, though. I was beginning to wonder if it was her.</p>

4743

<p>I had a funny experience today. S2 and I went to meet with his GC to go over course selection for next year. My recollection from meeting with her for the same purpose last year was that she looks like she is about 12 - although she is probably 25-6. Well, she didn’t look like she was 12 today as she appeared to be about 6 months pregnant! I think the look on my face was sheer horror - as all I could think about was that she might be leaving and S2 would have a substitute GC who did not know him writing his counselor evaluation! Well - she was actually very well-prepared - going out on maternity leave in late April or May and planning to meet with all of her juniors in March/April as needed and have at least drafts of all the counselor letters done before she leaves and she is planning to be back in the fall. I e-mailed her when we returned home to thank her for the meeting and to congratulate her on the pregnancy - which I was too rattled to do earlier. Oy.</p>

4744

<p>^RVM: you beat me to it…I was going to bump up this thread…I can’t believe that no one wrote anything for 24 hours…what’s going on? I can’t believe no one has anything to write about! ;)</p>

<p>The same thing happened at the beginning of this year with my S2’s honors Bio teacher. She was on maternity leave at that point, had the baby at the end of June. That’s the only subject he’s getting less than a B in…a C+…why? Because he had a substitute teacher for the first month & half of school and did horrible! He’s been playing catch up ever since and I’m proud he turned a D+ into a C+ in only 2 months or so…now hopefully he’ll make it into a B before the end of the school year. If not, not so terrible, since it’s his only C and he is a freshman. (btw, the substitute was horrible, my worst nightmare for a teacher. Many kids struggled but they are counting the grades anyway).</p>

<p>Wierd how my approach is so much more laid back now. S1 got his very first B EVER when he took AP Physics as a junior. He even had straight A’s throughtout middle school. I was very cool & calm when he got his first B, but he got a little shook up. Oh well! Now I see my S2 in a more normal light, I’m okay with the occasional C but obviously would love him to study properly and bring home only A’s & B’s…we’re working toward that! :)</p>

4745

<p>RVM: So funny you brought this up. I met with the GC today also, with DS, regarding classes for next year since I will be out of town next week and will miss the AP meeting (and I had lots of questions - what a surprise). Anyway, while waiting for my appt, they had a bulletin board full of baby pics and I asked if they were all from the guidance department.</p>

<p>DS’s guidance counselor (same one that DD had) had her second baby last spring (March) so it worked out well for DD as a senior (I just emailed her about where DD decided to go). She was back for fall to deal with the new group of seniors.</p>

<p>On the topic of socializing, my DD is the social butterfly in our house. From 8th grade - 11th grade, she was always out with her 30 best friends. Senior year, there were more BF/GF situations (she had a BF for half the year too), but she was always out. DS is so different. He is really close with his friends from summer camp (think: skype every night till I make him go to sleep). He’s also very friendly with the kids at the tennis club (but doesn’t hang out with them outside of tennis). </p>

<p>I was kind of curious about his socialability last year and talked to the bio teacher (his favorite class) at the end of last school year. She reassured me that he is just more mature than the kids in his class (even the honors kids) and that he would find his people. I’m not worried as I see what a great time he has when he’s with his camp friends (which he’s gotten to do several times from Nov-Dec). Once the tennis season starts at school (2 more months), he will hang out with those guys. For now, I don’t have to worry about him out at night and that’s a good thing :)</p>

<p>I guess they all go at their own speed with this - and it’s innate whether they are “big group” types or more comfortable being with just a couple of close friends. I was actually the latter in HS and college but that didn’t prevent me from having a great time (especially in college!).</p>

4746

<p>Yes, FUMING in capital letters.</p>

<p>Was just cruising on the Chances board and came across a thread in which the OP, when wondering if he would get aid despite his parents $160K annual income, noted:</p>

<p>“haha considering my parents save every penny they earn like a pair of jews on steroids”</p>

<p>I had to comment. Most ignorant thing I’ve ever read on CC (and posted as such). Noted that it tells me more about him than any of his stats. And he is hoping to get into top top schools. Told him that if he happens to get in, then he needs to change his attitude.</p>

<p>OMG - I am SO MAD… AND SAD. I can’t believe I just read that on CC.</p>

1 Like
4747

<p>Well - the best we can do is educate him as to how inappropriate that comment is. My feeling is he heard it somewhere - perhaps his parents speak like that. Very sad that this type of attitude still persists today - and that these centuries-old stereotypes of Jews are infecting a new generation.</p>

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<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1064651-chance-me-wharton-columbia-harvard-yale-cornell-northwestern.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1064651-chance-me-wharton-columbia-harvard-yale-cornell-northwestern.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Someone else agreed that it’s a FUNNY comment. IRONIC. Something like that.</p>

<p>I am so offended, I can’t believe it.</p>

<p>So cocky and so prejudiced.</p>

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<p>So - let’s “chance” him. I say he gets rejected everywhere.</p>

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<p>RVM: I am virtually toasting you right now. You ROCK! Best answer to a chance thread EVER.</p>

4751

<p>oh I am going over there and ripping him a new one.</p>

4752

<p>Thank you. Don’t let his ignorant comment or the other poster’s response ruin your evening.</p>

4753

<p>The poster Tenor something or other, who thought it was funny - I checked out his other posts - also Asian and also wants to go to NU. If my friend PizzaGirl sees that, she will go nuts. (Maybe you know her from other threads - we were sorority sisters at NU - she’s not on our thread as her twins are A students. She would kill them both with words.)</p>

4754

<p>I’m ok, RVM. It looks like it stopped snowing, I am headed to FL with DD tomorrow to visit my parents, and we are sitting in front of the fireplace watching Delaware in the FCS championship game on ESPN2 (and they are winning in the 3rd quarter).</p>

4755

<p>I’m ready to watch the start of a new season of “Say Yes to the Dress” - DH actually watches it with me! Have fun in Florida!</p>

4756

<p>That’s so fun that you were sorority sisters!
I hope both of those kids reap the fruits of their ignorance.
Also rvm, this thread has attracted WAY more than just parents of B students at this point. It’s a very popular destination for all of us who are looking to discuss issues that are relevant to raising Jewish kids ( I think there are actually parents of many religions who post her…we’re a lively group!)</p>

4757

<p>LINYMOM I actually just gasped out loud when I read your post…</p>

<p>Took a look at the OP and am proud of my fellow jewish parents of B students’ comments</p>

4758

<p>I do not comment here as often as I used, but the reference to that offensive post lead me to comment to both the OP and the moderator. I am sorry I missed the unedited version of college4three’s post.</p>

4759

<p>Over this past holiday break, I was on a cruise with my family. A young woman…maybe early twenties…commented loudly to her family at a nearby table during our first lunch on-board that the server dispensing frozen yogurt had “jewed her out of an extra topping.” </p>

<p>My D’s were shocked, mostly because it was said so matter-of-factly. I refrained from commenting directly to her at that moment because I did not want to start off our vacation with a fight, but hoped to have an opportunity to perhaps say something if the opportunity presented itself later in the trip.</p>

<p>However, I never saw this young woman again until we were literally moments away from walking off the ship in NYC. She came into the elevator wearing an off-white poncho. My older D and I were both carrying cups with hot chocolate. We were the only ones in the elevator. Oh, what temptation! I could just see the steaming chocolate streaming down the back of her pure white poncho. But, alas, we used self-contol and took the high road.</p>

<p>Sometimes you just you need to let stupidity go.</p>

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<p>This is one reason I love our racially, ethnically, socio-economically diverse school district. Definitely fosters appreciation for people who look different than you do. They still aren’t always so sensitive to the fact that not everyone celebrates Christmas and Easter (I fought those battles in elementary school), but for the most part, the diversity is an education within an education.</p>

<p>What scares me about the comments is, as someone here said last night, that they probably heard it at home. So adults are teaching prejudice.</p>

<p>Anyway, back to the topic at hand… my DS and I met with his GC yesterday regarding classes for next year (junior year) and it was pretty good. She was mostly helpful for picking classes for next year, but her perspective on putting together a college list is different than mine. My DS and I know to take what she says with a grain of salt. She is pretty negative when talking about “reach” schools - we are realistic but she doesn’t show any enthusiasm for even giving it a shot. She was really down on DD and she didn’t get any rejections (one deferral, one waitlist). Plus, she continues to mention schools that she knows DS would never apply to: Holy Cross, Villanova, you get the idea. Went through this with her with DD. We’ll cross-reference her suggestions with the Hillel website and create our list. Feel great about DS and the opportunities he will have if he continues as he is right now.</p>