Colleges for the Jewish "B" student (Part 1)

Parents Forum
10941

<p>THANK YOU for all your responses.</p>

<p>Mutti: He seems to be fine with the grades he’s getting :eek: they don’t bother him the way they bother me! :(He likes being with the “smarter” kids in the honors classes, and since he wants some type of computer/engineering major in college, then I may just have him do honors math and science next year and the rest regular classes. OOrrr, we’ll have to give up on the honors classes altogether next year. Best to make an app. with the gc. Sounds like you made the same decision I am going through now! I have a feeling those grades will improve as the school year goes on, just like last year, and he could very well end up with B’s in honors…for him, though, that may be okay. We will have to sit down and talk to him about it more carefully maybe over the weekend. Different children: my S1 would NEVER have been okay with B’s, especially on the year end grades that are reported to the colleges!</p>

<p>4kidsmom: Yeah, that’s a problem with remedial kids. We do have regular, honors and AP tracks. However, the kids who do the honors classes have a choice of their next classes being honors or stepping up to AP. I’m not sure this child will be capable of AP at all, which is fine. I just want to make sure he can handle honors as a junior!</p>

<p>Vitrac: thanks for your support & pm, I just sent one back…</p>

<p>All around he is a great kid, great EC’s, not too many, but the ones he’s passionate about, and funny, dry sense of humor…I just wish he was more pro-active about his grades and he’s not—yet, anyway.</p>

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<p>PS: He did just get an 85 on a chem quiz, which is terrific. But he has a chem test tomorrow that he’s just studying for now, the night before, oy!</p>

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<p>Charliesmom: Michigan comes to mind but not much easier and much bigger. Look at Pitt, BU, GW, U of Miami (FL), U Denver, USC (CA), Occidental, Vanderbilt, Tulane, Emory.</p>

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<p>Thanks. Gw is definitely on the list. Aren’t Vanderbilt and Emory really hard to get into. They are definitely appealing and would be perfect but maybe reaches. How much of a cultural difference is Tulane for a NorthEasterner? BU is too close to home-she won’t even look in MA. We will check out the others. What about Rochester? Thanks.</p>

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<p>My d is a college freshman and after reading chocchipcookies remarks about her s I was having flashbacks…I can tell you that it is very relaxing not to have a clue what my d is doing in school. Rarely tells me anything about her schoolwork. At first it bothered me, but now I feel a huge weight is off me…Phew…</p>

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<p>^^ditto here…except for the fact that sorority rush has a minimum required GPA…and darling daughter would not be tickled if she couldn’t rush</p>

<p>Charliesmom: look at Tulane’s geographic distribution; tons of midatlantic/northeast kids especially NY/NJ…35% Jewish population</p>

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<p>CCCookie,
I feel your concern. God knows how concerned I was about my D. Let me say a few things. Things are better than you think. At least your son realizes that he wants to be around smart kids. If he was complacent and happy around underachieving kids, you would have a bigger problem.
He is a boy. They sometimes mature a bit slower. Perhaps, the light will turn on soon.
My daughter did not take a single AP course. In fact, she only took one honors class in her four years. She had a 3.3 GPA her frosh year, 3.1 soph. year. She kicked it in to a 3.5 junior year. But they were average classes.<br>
Things are turning out well for her. Don’t fret. Make sure your son stays passionate and takes a leadership in an EC. Have him get involved with something that requires him giving of himself to others. That will give him some perspective about less fortunate. It might drive him to work harder. It will also give him a potential good essay subject.
Lastly, please know that your S will be fine. So will you. Also, admissions will continue to get a little easier over the next few years. The head of admissions at a major University gave me some interesting facts. The HS class of 2009(born in 91) was the most difficult year for college admissions. That year 3.3 million kids went to college. This year(class of 2012) born 93/94 there will only be 3.0 million kids going. In essence, 10% less kids applying. That means a little easier than a few years ago. That number is going to continue going down for a few years. (The boomers started getting older). There is a bit of a reset going on. The worst is behind us. IT will get really bad again for the hs class of 2017. They expect the number to go up to 3.6 million kids. Just my luck. That is when S1 will be applying. Apparently, there is some sort of echo boom and immigration boom that happened.<br>
Anyway, try to stay calm. All turns out OK. i Know it. There are many schools for all kids. Let the game unfold. I predict he ends up winning.</p>

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<p>I am so looking forward to not knowing what my child is doing on a day to day basis in school. I have one in college and one is grad school and yes, it is a huge weight off us to not have to ride the daily rollar coaster with them. </p>

<p>My son is out at a park somewhere in town meeting his astronomy class to look at the stars. When there is something cool to look at, the astronomy teacher emails the kids to meet him at the park where he has set up the big telescope for them to use. I think it is cool BUT, it is a school night and the kid has not yet started his homework for tomorrow. The kids who show up get extra credit. As I was typing this he just walked in. He was happy. He saw Jupiter and other stuff. I am glad he is back after only 1 1/2 hours. </p>

<p>Charliesmom - we don’t know what type of student your daughter is to be able to suggest colleges for her. Vanderbilt and Emory are tougher to get into (Vanderbilt’s admissions stats have risen sharply in the past few years especially). GW and BU, UMiami and Tulane are similar (in admitted student’s SAT/GPA’s). I hear great things about Rochester on CC. If you need more options, let us know where she falls academically and what she is into (extra curriculers). When you say “good academics and bright students” it is all relative to where your daughter is.</p>

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<p>ccc: Is the B in Math or History? It sounds like the best course for your son is to keep Honors-level classes in Math and Science and switch to regular track in others.
Is it possible for him to have a tutor come to prep before exams? This extra bit of review may be just enough to keep him in the B range.
Try not to put the cart in front of the horse quite yet with regard to where he will apply to college. There is plenty of time for that, and he will continue to evolve as a student.
I completely understand how he feels about wanting to be in class with the “smart” kids, but if this is at the cost of his grades, then he may have to make some compromises. B’s are fine, but C’s consistently can become problematic.</p>

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<p>chocchip - you know I have had many of the same issues with my S2. The wonderful advice I rcvd here was to relax, back off and stop stressing about his grades. I really was on the verge of damaging our relationship and I am glad that I heeded the advice given and calmed down. S2 still gets a mix of A’s and B’s - there are still times where I am frustrated to see a situation where he comes so close to getting an A - but just does not put in that extra effort for whatever reason - and I just bite my tongue and let it go. My nagging him had no impact on his grades whatsoever - so at least now we enjoy each other’s company.</p>

<p>I also saw a lot of maturation from sophomore year to junior - and then from junior year to now. I still think he is not living up to his academic potential - but he is 17 - he is going to have to figure this one out for himself.</p>

<p>In science - he took honors level in 9th and 10th - and dropped down to regular for 11th and 12th. I think it looks good on his transcript to have 4 years of science - and I can’t imagine a college decision will hinge on him taking regular physics this year instead of honors. I would suggest dropping down to regular rather than having a “C” in honors level for your son.</p>

<p>But most of all - please don’t be depressed about this. I guarantee you will look back 3 years from now and regret it. Focus on his positives - praise his successes - and enjoy your son.</p>

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<p>Charlie’s mom: I would say GW and NYU are one level down in selectivity from Penn, but have a large school, urban environment and smart students with a critical mass of Jewish students. I assume your daughter is not a B student if she is applying to Penn. That being said, the B student schools being discussed on this thread could also be worth considering.</p>

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<p>chocochipcookie: I can’t help thinking that despite your son’s desire to be with the smart kids in honors class, pulling C’s is not going to be good come college application time. Maybe with some tutoring he could get up to B level. Will your school even let him continue on the honors track if he is getting C’s?</p>

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<p>charlie’smom–
I would add American University in DC to your list as well. Small but nice campus, lots of smart and ambitious Jewish kids, party scene not overwhelming.</p>

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<p>First let me say thank you so very much to all of you that have responded so compassionately and from the heart. Second, thank you for the pm’s that I will answer, most likely tomorrow :)</p>

<p>You all have excellent advice and suggestions and I will re-read your posts to give myself the encouragement I’m yearning for! </p>

<p>Yes, I feel very lucky the first time was so easy. S1 is mature for his age and he learned very early on “how to”…it just clicked for him.
Solcaldad: I appreciate your response, yes, S2 is a bit immature for his age. He is, however, doing lots of EC’s that are his own choosing, different totally than S1’s, which is perfectly fine, and a few are leadership and community service roles. Not worried about EC’s at all.</p>

<p>To give a quick overview: S2 ended freshman year with a 3.6 weighted, 3.1 unweighted
3 Honors classes: year end grade: Honors Spanish B-, Honors Geometry B, and Honors Bio C+ (very, very close to a B-, but shows as a C+)</p>

<p>He received an A- in regular world history as a freshman and decided to switch his honors in sophomore year from Spanish to History.
So now he continues to have 3 Honors classes: Honors Algebra II currently a B- average, Honors Chem, currently a C average and Honors History, currently a C average.</p>

<p>BUT…it is early in the school year and he improved as the year went on last year. I guess that’s what I need to keep in mind before I decide about next year’s courses. My feeling is to keep him in honors math & science, since that’s what he wants to major in in college. However, I may need to rethink that at the end of the year IF he comes home with end of the year grades as C.</p>

<p>I do tend to panic. He is such a sweet boy and such a joy and so funny sometimes, RVM, you are right, I am enjoying him, but I have that same nagging feeling you did about why can’t he apply himself more? My mother-in-law actually made me feel better by telling me that my H’s brother (an engineer and the only child of three without an advanced degree) was the same way in school and worked hard for his engineering degree and now makes more money than his brother and sister who have MBA’s and Law degrees! :)</p>

<p>I guess I’ll sit back a bit and see how the next few months goes. He does tend to gain steam through the school year. This first quarter ends tomorrow and he will receive two C’s, yucch. Hope this maturity thing takes over. We’ve given him a dozen suggestions on how to improve, hopefully he will start to incorporate some of those suggestions.</p>

<p>Thanks again for all your great advice and wisdom from some of you that have been through this before!</p>

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<p>I want to second the idea of American University – not for the potential Penn student, but certainly a more accessible school than GW, BU, Miami for the B/B+ student.</p>

<p>Also - another point re: maturity as your D/S goes through HS and then into college. Just had a great conversation with DD yesterday (soph at Del) and I just can’t get over how her commitment to academics has changed since HS. I just could never picture it. She is working so hard, communicating with professors, learning about research. </p>

<p>With the benefit of hindsight, I think there’s only a limit you can do to encourage your kids in HS (I kept reminding myself, when dealing with DD, that I already went to the college I wanted; her decisions in HS will be affecting her college choices… and that will have to be fine). But they know that it’s all on them in college. I think it’s fair enough to say - because we are all here on CC - that we place a huge value on education and have been vocal about this with our kids since day one. So hopefully they have that value too - although in the teen years it might not be so apparent.</p>

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<p>chocchipcookie:</p>

<p>I can’t believe your S doesn’t WANT to do well since he chose those honors courses. You suggest that his lack of success is due to lack of effort- I don’t know your son but maybe it’s not due to lack of effort as that just seems contradictory to his having chosen the higher level of challenge. Maybe he needs some extra support whether it be to understand the concepts or to establish more structure around studying. I think a tutor could be very helpful. He might even welcome the idea. We all know how well teenagers react to advice from their parents about how to study. LOL</p>

<p>Hiring a tutor would be a proactive step which I personally would prefer rather than sitting back to wait and see … and you will then know you have done everything you could do to support him and encourage his success…if he still gets C’s then so be it.</p>

<p>Another thought would be to check in with the teachers of the classes where he is getting C’s and see what they recommend. Sometimes it is a question of knowing what teachers are looking for, especially when it comes to humanities classes like history where the grading is subjective.</p>

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<p>“Hundreds of students gathered about two blocks from the campus, with some chanting “We want Joe! We want Joe!” Some shook a lamp post and others tipped over a news van, kicking out its windows. Police fired bursts of pepper gas.”</p>

<p>But none if that sort of thing happened when the students read the grand jury findings of what had occurred (if they even did). </p>

<p>This thread was originally intended to be about getting our kids into colleges (schools like PSU) and only marginally about what happens with our kids once they are at or in those schools. But the notion of wanting them to become or continue to be mensches runs deeply through everything we have talked about. </p>

<p>Something is out of whack here.</p>

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<p>To be clear: I have no reason to believe that Penn State or Ohio State are different from most or any other schools, especially those with huge sports programs. Only emblematic of them.</p>

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<p>Thanks everyone. No she’s not applying to Penn. My older daughter goes there. My younger daughter loves everything about it but wouldn’t get in probably and it would be too competitive academically. She has a 3.8 GPA-all honors except for math. Her school doesn’t have APS. She doesn’t test well so I am worried about SATs-she is prepping now. Doesn’t have PSATs back yet. She definitely wants to see American when we look at GW.</p>

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<p>^^totally agree with MHC (cross posted w Charliesmom)…but keep in mind that the actions of hundreds of students in a school of tens of thousands is what is being represented in the media…</p>

<p>I’d be curious to hear from the students who we didn’t see rioting in the streets; both daughters have a number of friends there that have barely stepped foot in the football stadium (except for Parents Weekend)…can’t imagine given their character that they are particularly upset with this outcome given the charges</p>

<p>But lest I digress, I always caution against students (B or otherwise) choosing a school just because of a football team/rah-rah school exclusively…</p>