<p>boysx3 - mazel tov! What a joyous occasion!</p>
<p>My oldest just accepted a JDC fellowship to Ethiopia for a year! I know it’s not college news but knew you would relate. FYI, she graduated from Colgate in 2010.</p>
<p>fourkidsmom–that’s wonderful! What an adventure for her!</p>
<p>an update on the pre-school/allergic child situation:</p>
<p>The co-op pre-school has chosen not to accept the child at this time, primarily because they do not feel capable of accepting the level of responsibility that would be involved.</p>
<p>The pre-school extended an invitation for the little girl (age 2) and her mother to spend a full day at the program, and from the experience, decided that they could not accept the little girl at this time. The other families had been told of the child’s allergies, and were asked to be careful with what they sent with their own children that day.(the child is allergic to all nuts and legumes, gluten, and dairy, as well as some fruits, especially berries)</p>
<p>The mother and little girl came early, before the other children, and the mother “inspected” each of the other children, and their belongings, as they arrived.</p>
<p>Things didn’t go real well…just a few examples–</p>
<p>1) the mother objected to the challah in the classroom that was going to be used for “Shabbat” as it was Friday–the daughter is allergic to gluten.</p>
<p>2) she confiscated cupcakes from a kosher bakery sent for a child’s birthday because there are nuts used in the bakery</p>
<p>3)she confiscated a mini-bag of m&ms put in a child’s lunch because of nut exposure in the factory</p>
<p>4)she objected to a child’s lunch of leftover veggie pizza because of the gluten and the dairy</p>
<p>In addition, she did not like her daughter being put at a separate table…and the child kept leaving her special seat and trying to take the other children’s snacks and meals.(like any normal 2 year old)</p>
<p>Basically, the co-op decided that the situation would take too much policing, and also require major imposition on the other families, especially given that their contract with the congregation where they are housed requires that all meals and snacks be vegetarian or dairy. The co-op limits itself to 18 families at any one time, and this year there are only two openings, and a long list of applicants.</p>
<p>The co-op,as I understand it, has been very inclusive. It has one child with cerebral palsy, and one of the two spots open has been given to a little girl with Down Syndrome.</p>
<p>I fully understand the position of the co-op, and yet I also fully sympathize with the parents of the little girl.</p>
<p>Wow! While I sympathize with the family of the allergic child, this was way too much of an imposition on everyone else. As a parent, I would be livid at the idea of another parent inspecting my child’s lunch and confiscating items from it. I think this child needs to be older and more able to control her own food intake before she is in such a setting. I don’t think the preschool had a realistic choice.</p>
<p>Wow, that is too much of an imposition on the school and the other families. I think the school gave it a fair trial before deciding.
At this time, the safest way for this child to play with others is for the mother to invite playmates over to her house, and only serve the snacks the child can eat. When she is older and knows not to touch or take other children’s food, perhaps they can give it another try.
I sympathise with the school and the child and her family, but the safest place where the parents have this kind of control is in their own home.</p>
<p>While I am by no means an expert in allergic reactions, I believe that exposure to gluten will produce a reaction if a child eats a gluten product, but that it would not be a threat if they are exposed to it environmentally.</p>
<p>So trying to ban a Shabbat challah seems extreme. As long as the child does not ingest wheat products, it should not be a risk and it should not produce any life-threatening reaction.</p>
<p>^ You are correct about this. The problem is the age of the kids. Two year old’s get into everything and share not only food but germs! It would be hard to not have one preschooler grab someone else’s food, or one get challah crumbs onto another one’s plate, touch the other’s food, and so on. When the children are older, it will hopefully be easier.</p>
<p>I fully agree with the co-op’s decision. There needs to be balance. It is one thing to try to accommodate a child’s individual needs but in this case the needs placed a huge burden on the school, teachers, the other parents and the other 2 year olds. The co-op showed consideration and was smart to have a trial run. It is unfortunate that it didn’t work out but it would not have been in anyone’s best interest to accept this student.</p>
<p>That coop situation would have been difficult. I am surprised though that the trial run had so many bumps. I would have expected that the mom would have known that challah was going to be served in advance. I would have also expected that the parents would have been given food ground rules or that the mom would have known that restrictions weren’t going to be placed. Birthday cupcakes confiscated…really? It surprises me that it came down to the trial run, it seems that with the mom being adamant about specific foods not being present and the coop parents not agreeing to comply with those restrictions there was little need for the trial run to happen. It seems the outcome was completely predictable. Too bad everyone had to deal with that stress.</p>
<p>Mazel tov to boysx3 and fourkidsmom. It’s so nice to enjoy the kids’ accomplishments.</p>
<p>As for the nursery school coop problem, it is a shame it couldn’t be resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, but the school did the right thing. A two-year old is just too young to be able to follow the restrictions that would be necessary for her to be in a classroom where food is served. Maybe this mom should find several shorter classes or programs for her child (gymnastics, art, music) where she can have fun and socialize without the risk of food contamination.</p>
<p>and the co-op situation saga continues.</p>
<p>Parents of the little girl involved belong to the congregation that leases the space to the day care co-op and they feel they should have membership priority…they are threatening to go to the congregation board (i am not sure it would do any good, but there is bad blood being created on a lot of fronts here, and it is not really necessary, or good for the community).</p>
<p>the co-op does not give any priority except to children of families with sibs currently attending the co-op, so parents don’t have to go to multiple places for day care.</p>
<p>I think the co-op realized that the trial day might not go perfectly and maybe they wanted the girl’s parents to realize the risks involved.</p>
<p>Many of the parents felt that the lunch and snack restrictions that would be necessary were going to be too onerous–because lunches have to be dairy/pareve, to exclude things like cheese, yogurt, pizza, hummus, cream cheese, various breakfast bars, a lot of cereals, cookies,berries, peanut butter, bagels, challah, crackers–doesn’t leave a lot of choices for them to give their own children for snacks and lunches.</p>
<p>It must be so hard on the parents of the allergic child.</p>
<p>Maybe in a year or two when the child can understand that she can’t touch or eat other’s food, and so some of the food restrictions can be a little relaxed, would be a better time for her to be included.</p>
<p>I think the original reason the parents wanted their child in the program is because it is good and affordable day care, and of course because they wanted their child included in a very good social and educational environment. Many of the families involved have at least one of the parents working from home, or working in a flexible job/career, so their involvement keeps the costs down. Otherwise there is a lead teacher and an assistant teacher, and some various “subject specialists”–and parents involved on a regular schedule.</p>
<p>That was at the beginning…I think now the parents are treating it as a personal crusade.</p>
<p>Yes but you guys are doing the right thing. G-d forbid something happens and the girl has a reaction and suddenly they will blame all of you for not keeping a vigilant eye on her. My son’s friend is as allergic as this little girl but his mom did not mix him with other kids until he was older. When he used to go parties he would bring his own food ( also a multitude of allergies). Today he is heading for college. He is still allergic to a lot of things but lives a very normal life. Bottom line: this allergy thing will not limit this little girl on living a full life but she might need to find a better place or wait a little longer to attend pre-school. I would be so scared I would not want to mix my kids with others at this age.</p>
<p>Wow, frankly, my sympathy for the family of the highly allergic child is diminishing. I think they are being unreasonable and selfish. They are basically insisting that every other child in the co-op follow the same restrictive diet as their child. And now that the trial day did not succeed, they are trying to escalate the situation.</p>
<p>Frankly, the congregation should be afraid of the legal liability this child presents. If something awful happens at the daycare co-op, i’m sure these parents will sue everyone in sight.</p>
<p>Totally agree with rockvillemom! Just read another thread about a parent of a student who was rejected from Northwestern and now seems to be in a personal vendetta crusade. Teach your kids how to handle rejection so they don’t grow up and do foolish things.</p>
<p>I agree with RVM.
Preschool is nice, but it is not a developmental necessity. Two year olds are at the stage of parallel play, so they don’t interact with a large group. They can get the same experience in a playgroup at the child’s home where the food environment is controlled.
Even if all the parents agreed to keeping all alergens out of the pre-school, those parents don’t have all the knowlege and allergen free kitchens to even assure that any food from their homes is free of allergens ( the same principal as preparing Kosher food in a non- Kosher kitchen). Any food brought into the preschool can’t be assumed to be safe.</p>
<p>IMHO, if I was that concerned about a child’s exposure, I would have the playgroup at the child’s home. If the parent could not be there, it’s possible to have a babysitter lead the group. In their home, there is no worry about food exposure. This could be done with one or two playmates and still reap the social benefits for a two year old.</p>
<p>Will this two year old with food allergies be a b student looking for college help? Until then, can we table this?</p>
<p>That’s pretty funny. Just seems like a slow time of year for college chat, so we ventured off on a little tangent. When it’s time for that 2-year-old to start her college process, we’ll have a head start on understanding her dietary issues!</p>
<p>So, I have a friend whose son will be a senior this fall, and they are looking at larger universities. UMDCP will probably be his first choice, but they are concerned about his chances of acceptance. I have suggested Delaware, James Madison, Towson and Indiana as other possibilities. They are also interested in Clemson, but my recollection when I was researching colleges for S2 is that Jewish life at Clemson was close to nonexistent. Any more recent info? Anyone visit recently or know a Jewish student who is attending?</p>
<p>Does this exist? A small school within 1-5 hours of Atlanta that has a nice size Jewish population or at least a diverse enough population that Jewish kids don’t feel like the only one?</p>
<p>Stats probably aren’t Emory/Vanderbilt level. College of Charleston is on our radar, though smaller than that might be better.</p>