Colleges for the Jewish "B" student (Part 1)

Parents Forum
17101

<p>^ I do think it is stressful for students to put themselves out there, as they do risk rejection each time. Everyone seems to be talking about where they are applying, and I think, it’s very stressful for the students.</p>

<p>Maybe give it a break and then try to talk to her about how she is feeling about the process. Explain that it is sometimes so unpredictable that it is hard to tell who will get in these days. Let her know you feel it is better to apply and see what happens than not to apply at all if she thinks she may be interested in a school. </p>

<p>Think about what it is she likes about her match school, and maybe the two of you can come up with some additional choices that have similarities to her match school.</p>

<p>Reassure her- again- that before she decides, there will be opportunities to find out more about the schools on her list before she has to decide where to go.</p>

17102

<p>I agree with Penny. Great suggestion about finding other schools like the match which she likes best. If there really is doubt about he getting admitted to her safeties then by all means more schools need to be added. If they are pretty much a slam dunk and she’s happy with them then I would be less concerned. I remember when my older son was applying to schools I repeatedly told him that he definitely had what it took to get into the reachy schools so it was going to be a matter of what the admission folks were looking for since everyone who qualified for admission couldn’t get in. He did well with that. As I recall your older daughter is at one of those super reachy schools so I would wonder if the younger daughter is afraid about not measuring up to her and is therefore avoiding the process. If that was the case then I would guess a lot of reassurance would be in order. Just a thought.</p>

17103

<p>Rockville, Penny and Spectrum - thanks so much for your feedback. Yes, D1 is at one of the lottery schools. She is so frustrated with D2’s list and has told her so. I do think that D2 is afraid of measuring up. I have reassured her over and over that not getting into a reach school isn’t a reflection of her that there are only so many spots for so many qualified students. Intellectually she gets it, emotionally I think it’s another story. There are 2 reaches that I wouldn’t mind her putting back on her list, but she has come up with her reasons why they wouldn’t work for her and won’t put them back on.</p>

<p>The match is a very good choice for her. She may very well end up there. But I don’t want it to be with regrets that maybe she should have tried for something else. I wouldn’t even have a problem if she got into a reach school and then chose the match, because then I feel it’s really her decision. And if she doesn’t get into a reach and goes to the match, then she is still in the same place, but she wouldn’t have to wonder, maybe I should have tried? I just don’t think she wants to take the chance of being rejected. She is really talking herself into the match school, more and more everyday.</p>

<p>I can’t imagine she wouldn’t get into her safeties, but then you read about the kids who don’t…soooo…</p>

<p>There really aren’t any other schools to find! She has probably seen close to 30 schools. We have looked online at many others. She has geographic restrictions, school size restrictions, wants a large Jewish student body, active Hillel, etc. etc. </p>

<p>I want her to keep her options open. </p>

<p>And I thought this would be the easy child?? HA!!</p>

17104

<p>Mdmom: It does sounds like she’s afraid of not getting accepted if she takes a risk and applies to more reaches. I agree with you that it makes more sense to keep her options open. There’s still plenty of time, so maybe you should stop discussing the list for a few weeks. Have her complete the common application and any others that she needs to do for the current list. If she doesn’t have a school with rolling or very early notification, I’d try to encourage her to apply to one of these now. Maybe once she has an acceptance in hand, she’ll be more willing to apply to some other schools. I’m not sure what she’s looking for, but Pitt is a good option for a rolling admission school.</p>

<p>I’m not sure that there truly is an “easy child.” Good luck!</p>

17105

<p>momjr - Yes, Pitt is on the list! </p>

<p>So last night after I type the other posts, she starts telling me why she may not even apply to the one remaining reach school. WHAT!! I countered with I want her to not only leave that one on the list but add two reaches back that she has cut. I did ask her if she wants to reject the schools before they have a chance to reject her. Her answer was “maybe, but I don’t care if they reject me.” Well that tells me the first part of the answer is the reality and she does care about getting rejected, even though she knows most of the students who apply get rejected. </p>

<p>I am going to back off for now. Clearly she isn’t of the mindset to ED anywhere, so there really isn’t any rush, other than getting out the Pitt app ASAP and the other two EA apps by 11/1. </p>

<p>Thanks for letting me vent.</p>

17106

<p>I agree that she isn’t certain enough about a particular college to apply ED and at least the decision is an emotional one.<br>
She may be more receptive to an adult who is not connected to her sister, and she might open up to a private college admissions counselor. Many people think the counselors are there to help students apply, but they can also be an objective advisor in emotional situations and a safe place for student to confide in.
You could ask her if she wants to work with someone outside the family who will keep her concerns confidential, and that she and the counselor will make up the best plan for her with less nudging from you and sister. Of course you can’t force this, but you can offer.
I know this can be costly, but she may only need a few sessions to come up with a list of schools to apply to.</p>

17107

<p>Heading to Colorado College tomorrow for a tour info session and interview on Thursday. Our trip at the end of he summer went well. We crossed off Clark from our list, it has a lot of great things going for it but we weren’t feeling it. We loved BU ( possibly me the most). My son loved Union College, didn’t love Skidmore but liked it ( my husband was very i pressed). U Mass Amherst seems like fun and he said he could be happy there but not excited about it. I think if Union was in Saratoga Springs instead of Skenectady and had the ridiculously incredible gourmet food court of Skidmore he would be applying ED to Union. If u ask my son right now he would say "without seeing Colorado college yet, Union is #1. He expects to love CC on Thursday? He realizes he might not get into CC and should get into Union. BU falls just below these 2 in his eyes. We might take a look at Tulane because if he loves it EA would help his chances there. Right now it looks like he will apply to:
Union or CC ED
BU ( match)
Tulane (reach)
U Miami (reach)
Skidmore (match)
UC boulder (match/safety)
U Mass amherst (match)
Not sure if that covers our bases? my mothers intuition says he will go to Union and if it was me (which I’m clear that it isn’t, it would be BU)</p>

17108

<p>Heading to Colorado College tomorrow for a tour info session and interview on Thursday. Our trip at the end of he summer went well. We crossed off Clark from our list, it has a lot of great things going for it but we weren’t feeling it. We loved BU ( possibly me the most). My son loved Union College, didn’t love Skidmore but liked it ( my husband was very i pressed). U Mass Amherst seems like fun and he said he could be happy there but not excited about it. I think if Union was in Saratoga Springs instead of Skenectady and had the ridiculously incredible gourmet food court of Skidmore he would be applying ED to Union. If u ask my son right now he would say "without seeing Colorado college yet, Union is #1. He expects to love CC on Thursday? He realizes he might not get into CC and should get into Union. BU falls just below these 2 in his eyes. We might take a look at Tulane because if he loves it EA would help his chances there. Right now it looks like he will apply to:
Union or CC ED
BU ( match)
Tulane (reach)
U Miami (reach)
Skidmore (match)
UC boulder (match/safety)
U Mass amherst (match)
Not sure if that covers our bases? my mothers intuition says he will go to Union and if it was me (which I’m clear that it isn’t, it would be BU)</p>

17109

<p>L’Shana Tova to all who will be celebrating the Jewish New Year. Wishing you a sweet and healthy year!</p>

17110

<p>Right back atya, RVM and to all our CC friends who celebrate.</p>

17111

<p>Mdmom: I just went through the same with my S1 last year. He had good stats and only applied to 1 reach & 1 semi-reach school. In the end the list of 11 schools dwindled down to 5 appliations: 1 financial safety, 2 match, 1 semi-reach, 1 reach. He was accepted at all but the reach where he was waitlisted (they have an 8% acceptance rate for his major so it is a reach no matter your stats). At every school we had visited, he said, “I could see myself here.” I was sure he would apply to several schools. I had total buyers remorse and felt that he should have applied to more schools to look at more options. </p>

<p>He, on the other hand, looked at his 4 choices (he didn’t want to stay on the waitlist) and narrowed it down to 2 and then chose our in-state flagship (rated #4 for computer engineering). He is a freshman now and SO happy. I, too, am happy for him. I guess he didn’t need to apply to a dozen schools to find the right fit for him. When push came to shove, I realized that I couldn’t make him apply to schools. I wanted him to apply to MIT or Caltech (why not, you never know…) and he said he had no interest. I don’t think it was fear of rejection as much as not wanting to be in that kind of atmosphere for college, which is something to think about. Somehow, I think that most kids end up in the right place for them & they have a better sense of where they want to be than we may acknowledge.</p>

<p>Now, on to S2 who is a junior in HS. 3.5 GPA but hasn’t taken the ACT yet so we don’t really know where he will look. He would love to go to Notre Dame (yes, we are Jewish) but will not get in. Really what he wants is a great sports program to cheer on. I can’t see sending him to a big 10 (12?) school unless it is our state flagship. </p>

<p>O.k. that’s my rant for the day.</p>

<p>L’shana Tova to all. Happy, healthy year & good choices for all…</p>

17112

<p>Momentscaught:
Looking at our school’s Naviance data, it looks like Miami is a bit easer to get into than BU, so unless your school has a very different profile I’m not sure Miami would be a reach school in your case.</p>

17113

<p>Momentscaught, Just wondering if you are familiar with St. Joes (being you are in Philly)? Perhaps it’s not on your son’s list because it’s too close? or for other reasons? We are thinking of visiting but not sure. Any thoughts?</p>

17114

<p>Shana Tova to all my CC friends…</p>

<p>This year the holidays just feel weird. It’s just H and I this year…the first time none of the boys have made it home. And, sadly, the other “empty nester” family we were going to share the holiday with suffered a death in the family yesterday afternoon. The funeral was this morning, and there was a very brief shiva this afternoon. I did bring over a ton of food…their children are now home, and she had nothing planned for meals as she was bringing dessert to my house–and I have never quite learned how to cook for less than a family with three hungry, bottomless, never-full boys–so they now have brisket, and honey/orange chicken, and vegetable couscous, and roasted vegetables…I admit to stealing a plate of her meringue cookies.</p>

<p>I should note that I am happy for all my boys. S1 and Dil (and grandson) are visiting her grandparents on Long Island for the holiday, as they should! and S2 has gone from DC to his girlfriend’s home in Connecticut…something definitely developing on that front! and I like her a lot. And S3 developed a “minyan” of sorts that gets together for all the holidays, and cooks and sort of davens together…they got together first year at AU, and the group has become very tight…and for some reason, S3 is always the host.</p>

<p>So…I am not ready for a pity party, it just doesn’t feel like the holidays!</p>

17115

<p>Happy New Year to all! Wanted to share that Bama Hillel is having a recruitment weekend for HS seniors Sept 20th. Sounds like great fun with a Shabbat dinner, a football game and other programming. Wish DD would go as DH and I loved the school but she has a reunion that weekend. Goin to get in touch with them as well as Honors College and see if they will be having others. DD did not get to meet any kids who weren’t from the south and felt a bit out of place during our visit. Hoping she will keep an open mind as I know from folks here on CC that Bama’s incoming freshman class was 55% out of state this year. Keeping fingers crossed that wherever she winds up will be the right fit for her and she will be happy! This is such a difficult process! Lol</p>

17116

<p>Happy New Year to everyone here! I’ve been MIA as it was a hectic summer, then DS off to college, then out of town guests, US Open (where I met a couple of posters from this thread), etc. I am finally coming up for air.</p>

<p>First, I want to report that DS is doing great at Miami! Move-in was easy and not as hot/humid as I expected, everyone was wonderful there, he had no problem getting his schedule set, he’s participating in so many sports clubs (and a club in his major), meeting people from all over the world. Even went to a Hillel BBQ during welcome week and Tashlit yesterday (maybe went to services on Wed night too?). He’s told me about the crazies on his floor (who he does not hang out with at all), the TA who he cannot understand, and the food he doesn’t like. Ho-hum. Most of the texts I get from him are laundry questions. But he has provided some info and even remembered to call me on my b-day. So all is good :)</p>

<p>After all I’ve been through on this thread, starting when my DD was a HS senior (she is now a senior at Delaware), both of my kids ended up in what seems like the right place for each of them. Thank you all for being there, listening, humoring me, letting me vent.
I’m still here to help others, especially with information about the two schools I am most familiar with.</p>

17117

<p>Happy New Year everyone! Holidays are hectic for us too, trying not to get off-track and keep D focused on the admissions process. </p>

<p>We recently visited Muhlenberg, JMU, GMU and UMW (U of Mary Washington), all are schools that I learned about here. </p>

<p>Muhlenberg was the first small college D actually liked. I had a great impression as well, I thought she would fit well and the location is ideal for us. They did talk about their February deadline and looking at the mid-year grades. Of course for D this is a reach school regardless but may be worth a try. </p>

<p>She also really liked UMW, they did a great job with the presentation and the tour. However, I am having a hard time finding information about it, the CC forum is very quiet. Has anyone considered it or know any current students? While walking through campus and looking at the students I could really see her going there. But the 83% retention rate seems low. </p>

<p>JMU was great although I doubt she can get in. What we loved about it was the undergraduate focus combined with the medium size of the school and its general friendliness. The students looked happy to be there. They have a bigger sports and party culture than my D would like, that was her only concern (besides getting in of course) </p>

<p>She didn’t like GMU at all. To start with, the school did a horrible job with both the presentation and the campus tour. D said that it was at a level of a high-school class presentation and was the worst of all schools we visited and I have to agree with her on that one. The tour didn’t take us into any academic building or dorm and the guide wasn’t well prepared. We did talk to admissions after the tour and they were helpful but also didn’t have basic information such as statistics of acceptances to graduate schools. The answer was something like “there is no way to know that”. The atmosphere on campus was very different from a typical college, I would say it was more business-like, many students walking alone focused on their own thing, we didn’t get an impression of any sort of campus community. The only bright spot was bumping into a hillel table and talking to their adviser who was very nice. They have about 1200 jewish students, about 50% of them live on campus which is a plus. But by then she was so dissapointed that it didn’t get her interested. </p>

<p>I think I now have a very good idea of what defines a good fit for my D. He ideal school would have a strong sense of community outside of sports and partying and would not be “preppy”. She is one of those that would attend an occasional game or party, would have a drink here and there but would have a hard time in a situation where “everybody drinks” and frequent participation is mandatory in order to fit in. I don’t think the size matters that much to be honest as long as it is not a really large campus. </p>

<p>The problem is, with her stats (87+ GPA / 1710 SAT), I am not so sure how to go about finding schools like this which would also have some jewish life.</p>

17118

<p>

I don’t think that 83% is low for a public school. There are exceptions (e.g. - UConn @ 93%). Still, 83% is close to (e.g.) UVM @ 85%, and UVM is, I’d suggest, an excellent school. And UMW’s 6-year graduation rate of 76% is definitely respectable for a public school.</p>

17119

<p>NeedPlanB: Reading your posts and looking at your daughter’s stats, I came up with an idea. I am more familiar with colleges in the southern region than other areas so my suggestion comes from that standpoint.
UNC Greensboro. OOS costs are less than many in the northeast. It is known for an excellent music, dance, and theatre department. It does have a Hillel and while I am not familiar with Jewish life on campus, Greensboro has a good sized Jewish population for the south.
They used to have rolling admissions but it may be an early action deadline. Regardless, it’s best to apply as early as possible.</p>

17120

<p>L’shanah Tovah! I hope that all the college freshmen are doing well and that the HS seniors (and their parents) are not too stressed by the application season. DS seems to be adjusting well to college. I think choosing a small warm school has been helpful for him. It’s been only 2 weeks, so we will see how it goes.</p>