<p>Salve Regina in Newport, RI. It’s in a g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s setting on the ocean, nestled among ‘The Breakers’ mansions. We happened to visit with D just prior to Easter break, and the campus was completely void of students, who had vacated for the long weekend. She felt she was touring a reclusive convent.</p>
<p>We (the whole fam) had a blast visiting far off colleges; applying at, and randomly dismissing others for seemingly arbitrary reasons.</p>
<p>This is the time of year when, whatever college/university was chosen? living with that choice is becoming very real for you and your DS or DD. The excitement and romance of breaking free and moving far from their small world might be replaced with fear of isolation and distance instead. Be aware and be wary. Some of DD’s friends (and parents) that chose schools a plane ride away, are either suppressing, or are having down right “panic attacks”</p>
<p>Panic attacks? Having our son TWO plane rides away (connex) was the best thing that ever happenned to our family! He finally had to grow up!! He came home this summer a different kid and we couldn’t be happier. He’s also realising that the little world of HOME isn’t as interesting as “out there” in the big world which is exactly what we wanted him to realise. Some kids really need to get out there to achieve their potential and ours was certainly one. We couldn’t be happier seeing him moving towards independence in a way that he couldn’t, going to college in the backyard like so many kids here do.</p>
<p>As far as the tour guide issue, sure they’re not professionals and we can’t depend on them as such, but then again, they do give you an idea of the type of kid that attends the school. At U Richmond we had a guide who, when asked why he chose it, said that he didn’t get in anywhere else! Crossed off the list.</p>
<p>And I know a family who won the lottery :rolleyes:</p>
<p>We all bring our own individual experiences to this table. One thing we all share is; we’re all probably a little OCD (helicopter’ish) parents, or we wouldn’t be here. Anyway, my statistically small sample of about a dozen launches is; a 50% failure rate (students not completing where they enrolled) of “plane ride” students vs. 0% for “car ride” students.</p>
<p>dke - I’m with you on the distance factor. I see hundreds of students go to college each year. Distance isn’t really a factor for whether they “succeed” or not IME., but it certainly does give students more of a view of the world.</p>
<p>I think we’re unusual that we didn’t cross places off for “visit” reasons. Places were different, of course, but my guys mentally figured out how to adapt to fit different places. They crossed things off for:</p>
<p>Too close to home (we wanted a minimum of 3 hours away, but did look at some closer - just because)
Too far away (we wanted east of the Mississippi, but a couple snuck on the list anyway)
Doesn’t offer merit aid
Not well known in the field
Not well respected locally (by those who should know - not the common sidewalk person)
Not well known for overall aid (though a couple still made the application list in spite of this)</p>
<p>Our best tour guide was at Pitt, but it wasn’t the school chosen in the end. The worst? WUSTL, but my guy applied anyway and liked the school.</p>
<p>Our worst experience? Parking ticket at Virginia Tech AFTER we stopped and got a permit which was displayed - then the campus police wouldn’t fix it there. I had to write some upper level folks at the college (we’re alumni, so felt we could) and they did fix it with an apology. The whole experience still grates on me though - and none of mine (so far) have applied there. Maybe it made ME cross it off the list? 
(Nah, I’d be happy if my guys went to my Alma mater.)</p>
<p>giterdone–do you mean that half of the kids that were a plane ride away finished at that school and none of the kids that were a car ride away finished or that all of the kids that were a car ride away finished?</p>
<p>Creekland, what was so terrible about WashU? We’re headed there next month and would like a heads up…</p>
<p>right - “failure rate” (which I shouldn’t have used, but will stick with it for continuity).</p>
<p>0% that were a “car ride” away, failed to complete where they originally enrolled, or in other words 100% stayed and graduated from that institution. Half the kids who enrolled at a school a “plane ride” away ended up transferring out of that school and finishing elsewhere.</p>
<p>Wanted my kids to go further afield, especially my daughter. We’re two hours away from NYC, but still really a suburb, but my kid wanted Manhattan. Still, that’s a very worldly location and she went to London by herself and thrived. She is still terrified of rural locales though, haha.</p>
<p>DS went to a school four and a half hours away, but he is a more insular person at a more insular school. Still, he’s been to Rome and Florence without us. Still, he is a homebody and may always be.</p>
<p>I think it’s important to remember that there’s not one right way to be a person. Going into the wide world is wonderful and exciting. Be close to home and family has other compensations. Let’s not become normative and defensive about the various paths in life.</p>
<p>Some of the silly reasons really are ridiculous. DS didn’t like the guy at the info session (an alum) at Middlebury who kept stressing that VT has no billboards. Crossed off list. Lately he realized that he most certainly should have applied to Middlebury. It made no difference, because he would definitely have chosen his school over Midd (which is a wonderful school) just because it was a favorite. Still, he realized how stupid (I’ll use the word) his reason was.</p>
<p>I really put no expectations on tour guides. They are students! It is a pleasant surprise when they do a great job. And yes, it would be nice if there were improved supervision or selection or whatever you want to call it. But, I would never judge a college on the quality of the tour guide.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I would expect more from professional staff. If the adcoms., support staff, secretarial staff, etc. are rude, then this portrays a different sense of how welcoming the school is toward new students. It may or may not predict whether one’s child will like the school, but it is not a great expression of good will.</p>
<p>One place where students do NOT belong, though, IMO, is answering fin. aid questions. When I needed answers about fin. aid and scholarship information from UMD, there were students on the front lines answering phones, most likely as part of work study. I got a lot of INCORRECT information that was very frustrating. I was not able to get accurate information until I was able to get through to a staff person. It is one thing to have students as friendly tour guides. It is another to have them providing important information under the pretense of being an authority.</p>
<p>Reading this thread confirms that people make snap judgements about colleges based upon incomplete and sometimes wrong information as well as on negative experiences that may never to be repeated during their entire college career. On the other hand, not making those snap judgements leaves one with the knowledge that their choices come down to “two and one half dozen or the other”. Many good choices come down to gut feel and just looking for reasons to eliminate some options.</p>
<p>DS#2 visited UVA’s engineering open house and was underwhelmed by the lab presentations. He also was put off by his belief that school officials were emphasizing what their graduates did other than engineering. So, while UVA started out as a high preference school it was resoundingly rejected after the visit. His preconceived notion about UVA engineering could be completely off base but was enough to reject it. He did find his fit elsewhere and has decided to apply early admission at that school.</p>
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<p>Great point, mythmom. Reminds me of my sister and BIL, both of whom are homebody, close-to-family types. They live happily in our hometown and are quite entwined with both sets of aging parents. Neither DH nor I could stand this lifestyle, although we are fond of our respective parents and in-laws too. We live happily on the other side of the continent and enjoy visiting from time to time, plus keeping in touch electronically.</p>
<p>The main point is to figure out what makes you happy. Also, if you want a life partner, to keep in mind that a similar degree of differentiation from family of origin is an important predictor of long term relationship success. In other words, if you are happiest keeping a bit of distance (geographic and/or emotional) between yourself and your mom and dad, don’t choose a partner who is happiest close to their mom and dad, and vice-versa.</p>
<p>Nothing was terrible about Wash U. My guy loved it and applied there. It would have been a toss up for him between WUSTL and U Rochester had he been accepted at Wash U (was waitlisted, and declined it), but I’m not sure it would have beaten URoc due to other factors he liked about URoc. </p>
<p>The TOUR GUIDE at WUSTL, however, left a lot to be desired. Her mic wasn’t working, so instead of seeing if she could get another one, she said she’d just talk louder. The talking louder lasted about a minute at best. She’d be talking all along the tour, but only the front couple of people could hear her. We tried to stay toward the front, but it was a larger group and most were trying or had given up trying. Then we’d get to a building and she’d start immediately talking about it - before half the group had even arrived. There were several tours going on at that time (special event day) and we learned more by listening to the other guides as we crossed paths. It was tempting to change groups, but we didn’t.</p>
<p>Sticking with the thread theme; Creekland’s description of the WUSTL tour could apply to any of the “event” day visits we had. Chaotic! That became the “norm” and tours weren’t factors after about the 1st 3.</p>
<p>Cleanliness, maintenance and aesthetics became a huge one. UIC (cig butts all over), Gustavus (deteriorating 70’s architecture), UM Twin Cities (sprawling urban with no boundary), UW Madison (anything Wisconsin became a rivalry casualty), Winona State (too isolated and rural), UR (Richmond, VA, too far) CC (Colorado, too far), NYU (too scary and far - New York intimidation factor as well), KU Lawrence (too big, hot (it was 100 that day), and middle of Kansas)</p>
<p>ChrisTKD–I don’t think most people here declined a school JUST because of a tour guide, etc. I think that was the most visible issue with the school in their mind. There were schools that we did make “snap judgments”–basically knowing as soon as you got on campus it wasn’t going to be a good fit. Sometimes it was hard to pin down exactly what was wrong other than it didn’t feel right, other times it was simply looking around and not seeing anyone that “looked” like you. Sure, the tour guide gets the “blame” but I think that is just the easiest way to express the dislike. With 2500 colleges/universities to pick from, sometimes it does come down to not enough squirrels on campus.</p>
<p>I am biased toward Rochester as an alum and loved it when I first saw it…in august. I am still trying to convince S3 to apply.</p>
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<p>My guy wanted warmer and only applied last minute after wavering a ton. We went and saw it afterward - in Feb - then he realized weather wasn’t everything. ;)</p>
<p>But I think part of the reason my guys (3) aren’t interested in my Alma mater is BECAUSE it’s our Alma mater (both parents). They want their own experience. That’s ok. I never wanted to go where my parents went either (one of the SUNYs) - no particular reason, other than maybe too cold - just didn’t. It might be genetic. I also wanted to get out of state and away from home, so that might be genetic too.</p>
<p>My D crossed William and Mary off her list because of the worst tour guide one could imagine. It probably would not have been the chosen school, but she wouldn’t even apply. It was too bad because the admissions session was well presented by a great staff.</p>
<p>My older son crossed off William & Mary too. Not because the tour guide was bad but because he was wearing a bow tie and walking backwards! Lack of bigtime sports was an issue too. Younger son would not even take a tour. Great school-just not for them.</p>