I’m curious. When people talk about “gruffness” in the NE, exactly who are they referring to, and where?
I’d love to know the same thing about the South @Consolation .
Seems like the original intent of the post has shifted to making sweeping generalizations about different geographical areas and the people who live there IMO.
I agree, @carolinamom2boys. As a New Englander, I have taken slings and arrows here for years. 
Usually to find that the impression in question is the result of visiting urban areas only.
New Englanders do tend to be more reserved, and in some cases more formal. My late MIL, a militant midwesterner who regarded New England as a virtually foreign county full of snobs and pinko commie intellectuals, exclaimed “How formal!” in the very first moment I met her because I greeted her with a handshake instead of a hug. (I had never met or spoken to her before, and we were not engaged.)
And on the other side, Consolation, some Boston-area people at W thought that the terrain around the area (standard issue suburbia with malls and the like) would be “foreign” to D because she must live in a farm since she was from Illinois. She had to explain to them that really, suburban Chicago looks pretty much the same as suburban Boston. Bed Bath and Beyond, Target and Chipotle were not “exotic.”
“Where I’m from everyone is brought up to respect all the mamas. At least, I believe that is correct.”
Respect how? In what way does this manifest itself, alh?
@Pizzagirl, as we know, people can be very provincial. Most people start out that way, then they learn. That is why it is a good thing to go to college and meet all kinds of people from all kinds of places and backgrounds!
Heck, I came to W from CT, and was astounded that some locals called soda “tonic”–in New Canaan, that was something one drank with gin --not to mention frappes, Jimmies, and other local expressions and customs.
I blush to admit it, but I remember being surprised that my roommate, who was Jewish, came from Canada. There are Canadian Jews? Who knew! Although I had Jewish friends at home and at college, and had known English Jews, I had literally never heard of one from Canada. There. Now you know my darkest secret. 
When I moved to Dallas in 1978 from Chicago, my Philadelphia friends and family thought I would have to ride a horse to work!
@MomofWildChild, when I was in high school around the same time, a girl moved to my town from California. She said she was expecting to see a lot of horses tied up in front of the school, and was stunned to see a full student parking lot!
MOWC, when my family moved to St Louis from Philadelphia in 1978, we were convinced it was the end of the earth. Our first time there, we stopped and asked for directions and the gas attendant said such-and-such was at the fourth “electric stop sign” with a drawl. We thought OMG! Are traffic lights a new thing here?!
Just different regional norms:
A lot of native Alabamians (I am not one) tend to say “park” instead of “parking space”. My friend said the other day, “We couldn’t find a single park when we got there.”
I don’t hear it much now, but my elders used the word “tump” to refer to something that has fallen over. “The tea pitcher tumped over when the toddler ran into the picnic table.”
Another expression I used to hear a lot but don’t hear anymore is “I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck”. This means the same as “I was born at night, but not last night.”
About 20 years ago I worked with a lovely lady originally from NYC who was in her 60s. One day during a tornado warning, she ran into the room and exclaimed, “Belle, I think Ms. Supervisor has gone crazy. She wants me to break the windows! What should I do?” It took me a moment to realize that the supervisor must have told her to “crack” the windows, meaning to open them slightly.
It was precious.
I’m from the CA and I say “crack the windows” — usually in regards to car windows to keep the car cool.
I’ve heard that those of us in Southern CA are different in that we call preface our freeways with “the”. As in “Take the 405 to the 5” and others would say “Take 405 to 5” (which even as I type it sounds funny to me). What’s weird is that I would have no problem saying “Take Main Street. to South Street”. It only seems to apply to freeways.
@MomofWildChild - my H graduated from college in 1979 and moved from his family home in upstate NY to Dallas to work for Texas Instruments. One of his relatives special ordered him a ten gallon hat as a gift because she was convinced he would stand out without one and everyone would know he was a “Yankee”… 8-|
“I’ve heard that those of us in Southern CA are different in that we call preface our freeways with “the”. As in “Take the 405 to the 5” and others would say “Take 405 to 5” (which even as I type it sounds funny to me)”
We do that in Chicago but with the names of the highways. “Take the Eisenhower east to the Kennedy, then take that to the Edens” would be a common set of directions. But if we were referencing the numbers, we would just say “Take 290 to 90 to 94”.
We would also use “the” for freeway names. Funny thing here is all freeways have names and numbers, but some are more commonly referred to by name others by number (and some can go either way).
"I’ve heard that those of us in Southern CA are different in that we call preface our freeways with “the”. As in “Take the 405 to the 5"”
This was a recurring comic gag in the skit The Californians on SNL.
syralum- I probably worked with your husband! (Of course, it was a huge facility, but both my H (not my H when I moved there) and I both worked at TI.)
Except for the rabbits! I remember visiting Evanston, shocked because I’d only seen one wild rabbit in my life.
Also, I wonder if “please” as in “could you repeat that” could have German roots. “Wie bitte,” a common German phrase with the same meaning, translates directly as “how please?”
Maybe it’s that when there’s simply too many dogs to sniff (urbanized areas), sniffing becomes more a chore than a survival trait. Progress, sophistication… call it what you want, but the condition lacks warmth.
Is the phrase “Bob’s your uncle” part of anyone’s experience?
Huge in my family, identifying a foregone conclusion. Pretty cynical. Like if someone said with horror - “Not a single one of those bankers who caused the financial crisis went to jail!” Every one I’m related to would respond “Well, Bob’s your uncle.” It needed explaining to my spouse early on, but he has embraced it.