You’re right - I think I’m just getting nervous because my family is pressuring me to stay and I’m letting them get in my head. I do want to give it a chance and I believe I can make it work but I wanted to know if getting out of it was quite even an option. I’ve talked to my trainers + counselor since last post and I explained all my feelings behind it and they said pretty much everything included in the replies. Tysm for the blunt reply, it’s what I needed to hear.
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Completely aside from the ED thing, this is very normal for kids looking at moving far away for college. Most young people have never experienced a life change remotely as dramatic and comprehensive before, and most kids experience one or more moments in advance when it feels pretty overwhelming.
But that is also part of why recent college graduates are basically the most mobile people in a modern economy. They have done it before, so they know it can be done, and that is a very powerful thing to learn.
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I will add to this very fine post by NiceUnparticularMan…
A while ago I read an analysis of immigrants to the US (this is not a political post, I promise you) which showed the incredible vitality, economic productivity, overall success, etc. of various groups/folks from different countries who have arrived here under different circumstances. Some got political asylum; some had helped the US government in some way by serving as translators or assisting the military with logistical support; some just waited patiently for years to get visas or got sponsored by an employer, some had a student visa and then an employer willing to sponsor them, etc. Lots of pathways.
But the authors pointed out that one could not extrapolate from their findings and predict that overall, immigrants (whether from country A or country B, landing up in country C or country D) would be universally successful. Of course there are a lot of factors at play here, but the major one is that someone who has already managed to uproot him or herself from where they were born and relocate themself somewhere else, has already demonstrated a “more than typical” amount of willingness to take bold risks, grit, strong interpersonal skills by leaving family and friends to figure it out somewhere new, mental and cognitive flexibility (adjusting to different weather, food, customs, living situations, etc.) And so their analysis was more of a “Gosh, these people who have managed to make it work are already incredible” and therefore, the fact that they are starting businesses and getting patents approved and completing advanced degrees and in many cases, out-earning native born Americans is not a surprise- they’ve already proven by relocating that they’ve got “the right stuff”.
There is no shame in being homesick, and if you decide to withdraw (with the help of your advisors and K admissions) I’m sure you’ll do great things. But also recognize that by even willing to take a bold risk and move so far from home, you’re already demonstrating the skill set that “immigrants” display- and frequently are able to leverage to do really incredible things. If the finance work, and if you are able to reassure your family that you will not forget them (as if!) this could be a really transformative experience for you.
Just a thought….
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Thank you. I understand now - I should honor my commitment and I’m planning to. This is embarrassing but after some rough conversations with my family about my college decision and K, I was panicked and wondering if an out was possible. But further evaluation of my situation (esp with input from people who actually know what they’re talking about, including these replies and my trainers/counselor) I’m seeing how silly it was to consider breaking ED just because my family pressed me. It’s an incredible opportunity and to squander it like I was considering feels absolutely ridiculous now. I’m also taking this as a lesson to not let other people get in my head and make me doubt my decisions. Truly, thank you.
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You are already knocking the cover off the ball and you haven’t even taken your first college class yet! Who is gutsier than you? Who has more initiative than you? NOBODY! Hooray!
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I also think that your parents do not realize just how awesome being chosen as a Posse scholar actually is. Fewer than 5% of all Posse nominees are selected, and Posse nominees are already selected from the top candidates in their school. Essentially, it is easier to be accepted to Harvard than it is to be selected as a Posse Scholar.
You can also tell your parents that you will have an amazing support base. Aside from the members of your Posse, you will have all other the other Posses from previous years, you will have your Posse Mentor, who is dedicated to you guys specifically. So there will be 39 other students from LA, who you will know, and who will want to help you fit in, and who will be there for you when you need them.
You already have an amazing network that you can use to find internships, job openings, etc. You should have a resume coach, and as you get closer to graduation, you’ll get a personal job search coach. There are 15,000 Posse scholars and alumni, and each of them will be willing to help you.
When you graduate, there are programs and scholarships for professional grad school. If you want to go to academic grad school, there are people who will help you with that as well.
There are also multiple companies who love hiring Posse Scholars as intern and then as employees. Some of the other volunteer interviewers for DAP I that I have met are high executives at companies. For example, one of our DAP I group interviews I volunteered for was done in the offices of Seyfarth Shaw in Chicago’s Willis Tower (formerly the Sears Tower). The space was lent to Posse, not rented, because the company supports the Posse Foundation. You’d better believe that “Posse Scholar” on a resume will open doors at that company.
You can tell your parents that being a Posse Scholar at Kalamazoo will provide far more opportunities in your life than attending a UC, even UCLA.
Your parents may not know either Posse or Kalamazoo College. However, they are also not the people who will be looking at your resume when you are being hired.
Furthermore, you don’t have to look for which companies to apply to for internships or when you graduate. Aside from your college’s career office, which is far more personalized at a LAC, Posse has its own career office, which is even more personalized.
Edited to add - you also get to nominate two other people for Posse starting the Summer of 2027, regardless of whether their school nominates them, or whether they are in a Public school at all. As long as they live in a Posse city, you can personally nominate them.
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Back to the main thrust, please re-read your ED contract and remove yourself from consideration at the UCs and CSUs - as that should have already happened.
Best of luck at K. It seems a wonderful institution - and puts out a high % per capita of PhDs - so they are doing something right!!
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