constantly being hit up to pay for others vacations- they call them charity events

Parent Cafe
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<p>I don’t have an issue with local walks, runs and bikes. I find the construction “walking to raise money” odd because the walking itself does nothing directly. I chuckled at the idea of raking leaves or something actually useful. However, most of those walks and runs have an entry fee and you aren’t paying for the participation and experience you are donating money to the cause in the name of the person who is doing the event. It is a rallying point for fundraising and an event that promotes “awareness” and media attention. </p>

<p>I’m not crazy about the mission trips and larger “adventure” fundraisers though. I wouldn’t contribute as the cost of participating is way more than then benefit of the contributions either financially or in labor hours. Taking labor to poor and/or remote locations seems like a ‘coals to Newcastle’ proposition to me. They need money and supplies more than inexperienced labor. Save the plane ticket, bank the money and carbon and send a check to pay a local worker who may actually know what they are doing.</p>

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<p>Although . . . I would contribute to the groups that do dental work or repair cleft palates (or like services). They are taking real skill and equipment to do work that nobody else can do that changes people’s lives immeasurably. That is in a completely different category for me.</p>

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<p>^yes! I agree, Saintfan.</p>

<p>Upthread someone compared week-long volunteer trips to the Peace Corps, which I do not agree with at all. Peace Corps members go for years, are chosen competitively, are trained ,and don’t ask for donations. I think it does a disservice to their work to compare it to someone’s week-long educational experience.</p>

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<p>"Save the plane ticket, bank the money and carbon and send a check to pay a local worker who may actually know what they are doing. "</p>

<p>Lets face it, these are all vacation “experiences” and resume fillers. It is one thing to raise funds and then contribute it to a cause and quite another to have those funds cover a plane ticket, lodging and food for a teen to go across the globe to “volunteer.” I bet the money raised would be a lot more helpful in the form of a check to the cause than whatever contribution the kid ultimately makes.</p>

<p>Even better are the solicitations for programs such as “People to People,” where I am begged to contribute because Johnny has been chosen for such a special honor and it would be a shame for him to miss out on the experience.</p>

<p>That being said, I am constantly put on the spot to fundraise for my kids sports, school, clubs, Scouts ect. It has really gone too far.</p>

<p>“If I pay $100 towards buying bricks or wood or whatever for a house for a Guatemalan who needs a house, that’s one thing. Doing a bike ride is play.”</p>

<p>Yes, walk, runs, bike rides maybe “play” but all of the money raised goes directly to the charity. If you pay by check you write the check out directly to that charity and you know where it is going. Before you $100 goes to buy bricks, it takes an awful lot of other $100 donations that are spent on the plane ticket, food, lodging, ect, so maybe your $100 ended up buying one brick…</p>

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<p>First of all, I am NOT a fan of this sort of thing. However, there are friends, family, kids who get into these things and ask for my support. I think part of it with these races, walks, thons, trip is the fun that the kids have in doing these things. No way would my son have gone to where he is going to work on a house. In addition to his labor, he is gaining an experience with his friends, classmates. I equate it more along the lines of going on a senior trip, as I mentioned in my post.</p>

<p>As for soliciting payments from others, it is so done because it makes money doing so. My son’s mission brought in over a quarter million dollars over their goal which was to cover these kids’ expenses for the trip and then to the cause itself. That’s a lot of money that this cause is getting for letting a bunch of high school kids work on a house and things for 10 days. They would not have gotten that kind of money from this group of people as easily. Parents with companies and family contributed heavily and there was corporate matching and also hitting up of foundation funds. I have a friend who has a family foundation who and when she heard of what my son was seeking, she sent off a $400 check right off the bat. DH’s company matches, so he contributed towards the pot once my son had gotten his minimum and that was a nice catch for the school. And on top of that kids who went on the trip last year, directed some of their graduation money towards this cause as they considered the experience memorable.</p>

<p>Now as far as I am concerned, I live within a few miles of some terribly needy area. The soup kitchen and food pantry are life lines to many, and all sorts of clean up projects and community service is so wanting. I have worked at a soup kitchen for years now, and end up funding some desperate needs out of pocket. It would break your heart. The $800 it costs each kid to go on this trip (they need to take a plane to the destinaion) would go far towards some terrible situations I’ve seen. But in trying to raise money directly for this cause, it’s difficult to come up with much. I could probably do a lot better, in fact, I know I could, if I hosted an event, charged a lot per plate, solicited donations as the focus of the event. I know because I do that and will be doing this again this summer. The money pours in. I refuse to be a regular in this, as worhy as the cause is, but things get bad, money gets short and I do this. My son volunteers there too, but there isn’t the fun and excitement that this trip with classmates and friends has. And people reach deep into their pockets when their kids are happy and excited. </p>

<p>I get a lot of these requests, and they’ve become part of what I set aside for charity. The amount has burgeoned out over time, and with my volunteer work (which at one time was ALL I could give as income was over ear marked then) I’m giving a lot to charity. But they have become a line item on our budget. As I spend more that way, our church gets less, our other giving is slashed or eliminated as I can’t do both. I know our pastor is disappointed that we gave nothing towards the massive renovation our church underwent. No room left this year after other solicitations were given a piece of our funds. In our case, we’ve contributed only a bit more as I watch those expenses, but still more. In a lot of cases, these charities get much, much more by using this model. I would not jump on anyone fundraising that way. That’s what it took to get the person to solicit the money; they needed that hook, that reason, that personal involvement. If i’m over , at or close to what I intend to spend in the charitable donations dept, then I just so say. </p>

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<p>Capt–first of all, I commend you for your work and giving. you obviously make a huge difference. :)</p>

<p>That being said, it is also obvious that these kinds of appeals do work, as you say. Which is why charities continue to use them. I’m wondering what that says about the average psychology of people that they give more when they see someone running around or throwing a dinner, rather than just because the cause is worthwhile.</p>

<p>People are strange. </p>

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<p>My girls did years of community service, starting with a well run local soup kitchen and continuing through college. It opened their eyes- not just to others’ plights, but also the value in doing for others. It sounds like OP’s son has been involved in several projects- and that’s good.</p>

<p>When mine did building trips, sure they had “fun.” But they also worked long, hard hours, did real construction, for people physically unable to do their own work and far too poor to pay anyone, whether or not the materials had been shipped in. (These were domestic trips, no flights. On one they camped; the other, they slept in a church facility.) For one, the kids spent over a year raising funds through work, cost us 0. For the other, a local church had done the $ part, we just chipped in on transportation. D1 also did Habitat, in college.</p>

<p>I think my point is not to just summarily dismiss these efforts. Yes, there are trips where kids work maybe a few hours one day and play for the rest of the trip . But try to see the difference between that and people who do the hard labor, then find their fun in the evenings or in getting to know those they help. </p>

<p>Would I help underwrite the personal expenses of the mountain climb or long bike ride? Really depends. Not just because I was asked, nor because the group restricted parents from paying (especially when the families could afford it.) But I did make a contribution to a very poor friend’s son’s trip- feeling his chance to experience this should be no less than my own kids’. She held a spaghetti dinner, I contributed what would have been the cost of our tickets. No regrets. </p>

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<p>Wow, I must not know the right people. In the past 10 years, I’ve only been asked twice to donate for travel. Both were mission trips to Indonesia. Certainly not enough to have gotten “sick” of people asking!</p>

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<p>^^^
But how does a person distinguish between the trips that are truly worthy charitable efforts and the “boondoggles?” Further to make that determination for every request we get would be a full time job. I think another poster had it right when it was stated that so many of these things are resume builders for college apps or just something that the person thinks would be fun to do. That is fine, but those types of “experiences” should be paid for by the person undertaking them. </p>

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<p>This is a sore point with me. A few years ago, my daughter’s friend sent us a letter asking for a donation towards a trip to Israel and Eastern Europe. The trip was educational but did not have a community service component. We were very irritated because this family lives in a huge Mcmansion. They could certainly afford to pay for their daughter’s trip, but they are notoriously cheap about things. Needless to say, we did not contribute.</p>

<p>I don’t have a problem contributing to charity walks and runs. </p>

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And the charity uses the money to pay the expenses of the bike ride. I know how much it costs per person to put on a supported bike ride, because my bike club does it. And I know how much the entry fee for the charity bike rides are-- less than the cost of the ride.</p>

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<p>I do not contribute to anything at all. I guess, I am cheap, I am in negative without contributing. So, I suggest to those who participate, do what I have to do to cover our own costs - draw from your accounts. If do not have them, then sell some property to use for your vacations. We have paid for all that kds ever did, including working in free clinic in very poor regions of the world (and these are ones of the most expansive trips) and contributing to the same (charity events) for free clinics in the USA, . We draw for our needs, so other can draw for their needs, call it charity or whatever, nobody is forcing anybody to participate in anything that they cannot afford. </p>

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<p>This is such a dumb idea it’s almost unbelievable to me. It sounds like one of those things some administrator came up with and no one sensible could do anything to stop it from happening. </p>

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<p>I think for some of these, V, where the kids come up with ideas for raising funds/making money through work, bake sales, car washes, etc, it’s to encourage them to put that effort in on the front end. There’s some life lesson in that. It’s also a leveling action, for kids whose families don’t have the resources. (A lot of low SES kids get these project- and cultural- opps through this sort of policy for all. The whole team raises team funds, not individual.) I do agree just going for donations, buttonholing friends and parents is iffy. </p>

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<p>I walk in a local 3-day 60 mile breast cancer walk started by 4 women who had walked in the Avon walk and thought the overhead was too high. They started a small 3-day walk–it’s limited to 40 people, only goes through 3 towns, and has no overhead because participants pay a hefty entry fee to cover their own costs for lodging/food/water/snacks. Also tons of volunteers donate their time to run/organize the walk. There’s even a fund from one donor that covers fees for credit cards when people use them to make a donation. Money raised–it’s about $120K each year–goes to two groups: one that does research on women’s cancers and one that provides support services for breast cancer patients. </p>

<p>I heard an interesting TED talk given by the guy who started the breast cancer 3-day walks and the AIDs bike rides. He raised tons of money for both causes (more than ever before) and was criticized for taking a big chunk (40%) of the proceeds. Here’s a clip of the talk. </p>

<p><a href=“Dan Pallotta: The way we think about charity is dead wrong | TED Talk”>http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pallotta_the_way_we_think_about_charity_is_dead_wrong&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>^ I know big fancy parties and galas can draw big donors and lots of money given. You can charge a high per person rate for the tickets, etc. Maybe the sleek, fun bike ride with comforts and perks can attract more than the stripped down local effort. But when a massive proportion of the funds raised goes to overhead, it’s looking out of hand. This isn’t just about his “initial investment,” but also the annual costs. His salary was 350K? </p>

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<p>@garland - If you could have seen the line of hundreds of people waiting in line to have their teeth cleaned for the first time, getting their teeth pulled with no meds, or seeing a doctor and getting medication, kids happy to have their hair washed and treated just so they wouldn’t have lice for a few days or the families who live in such poverty with no running water or electricity and tin sheds for houses it’s just so unbelievable. The area we went in we had to have armed guards with machine guns. It scared the daylights out of me that my son was there with me but to say you can just send some money over there and magically it’s going to get to the right place for those poor people?? That’s not the way it works.</p>

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<p>That’s not what I said. As comments have been made clear, there’s a huge difference from professionals, like doctors and dentists offering needed services, and people paying donations to send kids for a week. There’s not much a high school kid could do that warrants the expense (provided by others) of sending him or her overseas. </p>

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<p>Now I feel bad! DS 19 raised money to go on a non-denominational Christian missions trip to Jordan. He was there for seven weeks. Part of the time, he helped out at a Syrian refugee camp, carrying many, many heavy boxes. Other days, he helped teach English to refugees. </p>

<p>Most of the people who contributed go to our church and seemed happy to support him. They knew his background (bipolar, barely got out of high school) and encouraged him a lot. I must say, the experience was life-changing for him. I can see everyone’s point about being annoyed at this type of fundraising efforts, though.</p>

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<p>My son was in high school and he helped the doctor, nurses and dentist with the patients. He was one of the ones holding the kids hands and calming them down while their teeth were being pulled or they were getting shots while their parents were in other lines. I guess we have to disagree on whether someone thinks that is important or not. </p>