<p>I agree with almost all of the comments above, especially about waiting lists and the possibility of being moved out of your apartment involuntarily. This happened to a family member twice - her initial apartment was great, the family moved some of her own furniture in and made it feel like home. Then an injury caused her to be in the hospital just a tad too long, and family had very short notice to move all of her stuff out. Yes, you can continue to pay rent, but only for so long. When she returned from the hospital she was put in a different apartment that she didn’t care for as much, we set her up again, and then a serious illness resulted in her being moved out yet again. This time it was with such short notice my family couldn’t make arrangements fast enough while dealing with her in the hospital and her stuff was put in storage.</p>
<p>Another thing you should consider is proximity to doctor appointments. The shuttle service to the doctors’ offices was great in good weather, but in extreme cold or extreme heat, it was very difficult for my family member.</p>
<p>My in-laws started out in an apartment and have moved into the assisted living section of a local conglomerate that keeps buying up other facilities and building new ones. They complain a lot that the food is bland and unhealthy (not enough fresh vegetables and too fatty). Also, my FIL who has Parkinsons has had a few temporary issues where he was forced into the nursing home section and he hated it. On the other hand, my 92 year old mom is in a condo and getting meals on wheels. Her neighbor drives her to the store and church and one sister lives in the area to help with financial matters and doctor appointments. Based on these experiences, I would prefer to stay on our own as long as possible and then move to an aging in place facility where my H or I would not be forced into separate living based on our health issues, but could stay in one place and have services supplied there. There are some nice active senior communities that have a lot of community social events but no services that would appeal to us while we are young retirees.</p>
<p>My parents just moved into a CCRC, but moved back to their house near the end of the 3 month trial period. They enjoyed the social life and activities, but my dad is legally blind with some cognitive issues and it is easier for my mother to look after him at their house. Most importantly, my sibling, who lives near them now, is planning to move to the opposite coast, where I also live, and they realized they didn’t want to be stuck so far away from both of us. I expect that in a year or two they will probably try again at a place in my town. The place they moved into had an entry fee with refund policy that basically made the rent cost about $15,000/month for the first 4 years, so staying there for just a couple of years and then moving would have been crazy. </p>
<p>FWIW, the place they moved into, as well as the similar places in my town, went from having waiting lists a few years ago when we first looked into this to offering special price promotions to get people to move in. Once should carefully check out the financial situation of the facility before paying a big buy in fee.</p>
<p>As we work through all this with our parents my sister and I are now considering our own options in a way our parents never did. (They both lived some distance from their parents and there were family members nearby who handled almost everything.) I do think there will be more options when we are older. For example, there is a new agency in my county that serves as a resource for people interested in “Aging in Place”. It provides vetted workers for all sorts of tasks that older people can no longer manage on their own.</p>
<p>One of the downsides is when you or probably your familiy realizes you may need one of these facilities, you may have an affliction like dementia that keeps you out.</p>
<p>Marian, you mention several large communities are near you. I think that is probably the better decision, if you feel you have roots, than where your children live. I’m assuming your children aren’t all living in the same location, and that there is a concern that they might move. No right answer, really -but I’d live where you might be happiest. Children will visit, occasionally, no matter where you live. Make sure you’re open to outside help- someone other than family, maybe hired companion care, taking you to appointments, shopping for you, etc. Even children living locally can become quite resentful if they must always meet Mom and Dad’s needs themselves when there are other resources available.</p>
<p>I still can’t get over the fact that my grandfather lived on his own until his death at age 98 a few years ago! The only way that happened, though, was that my uncle lived nearby and could check on him often. There was also a woman who came in to help. My GF couldn’t see or hear well, but even in his mid-90s, he could recite all of “The Village Blacksmith” from memory. I hope I got his genes.</p>
<p>My MIL’s cousin is 95 and he drives, takes care of things and lived on his own and did ever so much. Last year, he finally bought into one of these communities because his wife is having issues, and the support is really for her. She’s a few years younger. There are other cousins not that much younger and who are active as well. There are a number of long lived members of the famly who are doing just fine in their old age. The thing is, you have to prepare in case physical and mental issues do become a problem, as they have with my MIL and my mother. One has dementia, the other is physically limited by COPD. They need help to be at hand.</p>
<p>I like many ccrc places. I visited one today and it looked like a 3 star resort. Looked pretty good. That place doesnt take people with dementia though.</p>
<p>My parents live in an assissted living place and they are living independently even though my dad has dementia. My dad is getting along fine. He is able to take his own meds. His doctor knows this.</p>
<p>The assisted living facility has a different standard. My dad has to know what each drug does. My dad gets confused about this so he was tested and flunked. </p>
<p>So… The assisted living facility wants to charge my dad 900 more a month and wants to or says it has to administer and takeover his drug care. </p>
<p>I do not like spending 10800 more a year for a service my dad can do himself. Oh… And did I mention my mom is fine and lives with him and can help my dad? </p>
<p>The facility says it doesnt matter. My dad flunked the test and that is it. 10800 bucks.
As my parents age, there are going to be more and more added charges. I guess if my mom has problems and cant take her drugs, that is another 10800 a year. Maybe there is a discount for two people. </p>
<p>I do have my doubts about these places after this drug episode.</p>