<p>I certainly identify w/OP, Lefty. Years ago, my parents’ only limitation (a big one) was that I attended a college within our metropolitan area. I complied, applied to two very prestigous local universities, and was accepted to both. Then a new challenge was added: I must live at home and commute. I attended both schools’ Accepted Student Open House Days, and at my 2nd choice school was instructed: “go home and tell your parents that commuting simply doesn’t work here; it’s not possible.” I did so, and was told “no”. So that left me with my 1st choice school, which was further away, but not so explicit in its response to “commuter” restriction. I was still totally committed, despite facing a 3-hour minimum RT commute each day. Day we absolutely needed to send the deposit money check to 1st choice school, my mother balked, saying, and I will forever remember: “we’re not spending that kind of money on a girl”. I was devastated. That edict forever damaged my relationship with both parents. I scrambled to apply at a local rolling-admission school and was a commuter student. My parents are wealthy; this was a control issue, not a cost issue, and I was a very obedient and dutiful daughter “needed at home” to serve my parents’ perceived needs. I did receive an inferior education, certainly no comparison to what either university could have offered me.</p>
<p>I suspect that OP’s mother also feels her perceived needs are more important than OP’s, and that this situation will forever taint their relationship as well. So parental control is exercised, with serious longterm ramifications. Been there, done that.</p>