"I can see him as a cautionary tale of how easy it is for a series of poor financial choices to put a family in a very uncomfortable financial situation, despite education, jobs, and an apparently affluent life.
I’m not good at categorizing a person or family into a class, but having to borrow for heating oil is definitely a sign of financial insecurity, as is being unable to pay bills and taxes."
I agree. I wonder, actually, how many other things his parents have paid for. If he had really had an epiphany, he would take a good, hard look at his life and say…no more. Selling the house, moving to low cost area, working whatever jobs pay the most (both of them), selling everything possible.
Hillary and Bernie aren’t talking about how they are bring squeezed out - that’s a difference - along with the fact they are running for President and candidates often talk about the economy and how it effects people’s lives and their plans to make people’s lives better through policies.
Yes, in some parts of the country housing is out of reach for many people. But even in one of the priciest areas this guy was able to buy a house.
He is squeezed because he made a series of poor financial decisions.
“Not whining. I love what I do. But it infuriates me when many who don’t have to struggle are positive that we who do are objects of ridicule.”
Kkmana, I haven’t seen anyone putting down people who are struggling on here. The gist I get is that many people think he is full of it, has been living a lavish lifestyle and is struggling because of his desire to live that way, regardless. It does a disservice to those who are truly struggling to put him in the same category. His mess was surely self induced, and it sounds like he still isn’t willing to do what it takes to fix it.
Kkamama, I don’t think anyone equates you with Gabler. I agree with BD. People aren’t putting down hard working people facing difficulties. Gabler was living a comfortable life. He had a set of “necessities” he would’t compromise, necessities that many people would consider luxury.
Kkmama, I don’t think your situation is in anyway comparable to the author - which is why I believe he is the wrong messenger.
My H chose to go into public service. We knew that would never make us rich. We planned our life accordingly but also had to deal with the unexpected along the way. We went into $88k worth of debt trying to have a baby and finally adopting. My H was making about $45k at most at the time. We spent the next five years doing nothing but working on paying it all off. It wasn’t fun but we learned to manage. We are still in our starter home and drive used cars even though my H is making a lot more money now.
My parents have money and so do my inlaws but we never asked for a dime.
“he made some poor decisions because he was getting squeezed.”
Hogwash. He made poor decisions because he was financially stupid.
@KKmama, I honestly don’t see you and the OP in the same position at all. I haven’t read that you have made poor financial choices or lived above your means. That is different from the picture many of us are getting from the OP’s article.
Following passions is wonderful, but it does require careful budgeting, as you well know and illustrate in your post (as do most of us who choose professions that are known to pay poorly, including nonprofit, public health, etc.) I think everyone will agree that the current economy with all its pressures and stagnant wages are squeezing the “middle class,” however it is defined.
Many are taking issue with the OP making himself the poster child for the squeezed middle class and saying that his financial choices are a distraction from the discussion that could more fruitfully be conducted about the societal pressures–global and national that have shrunken well-paying jobs and driven up housing costs, etc. We get that he identifies as “middle class,” but many take issue with him living in a home valued at 7 figures and other choices he has made, which seem rather contradictory to “middle class.” Also, unless the spouse is disabled, it is difficult to understand why she does not appear to be doing anything to help the family finances by learning new skills and/or taking some job or another. This is seen by many of us as a financial choice as well.
You aren’t squeezed by paying for college while trying to save for retirement…unless you’re doing it wrong.
Only on CC where nothing but the best will do. I love my daughters, I truly do. That said, if they didn’t get FA (merit or otherwise) and we couldn’t afford the schools they got into, they’d be off to community college with a transfer to a State public university well before I curtailed retirement savings.
I know incredibly successful people who went to the dreaded directional U, the state flagships and some total deadbeats who tried the elite college thing. You do what you can afford. Lovely to have the money to go to Harvard, Stanford, Oxford, Emory, etc, but sometimes a college degree from Iowa will still put you on the path to success.
I like to think of all this as aspirational living. So fearful of being thought ordinary, we do stupid things in order that maybe, just maybe we will be what we pretend to be. One only has to watch an hour of hgtv to see this in action.
You are too understanding, dstark. I think many of us who have lived through impoverished times and dealt with serious financial struggles of our own are not as forgiving. I am glad I had to go through the things I did, it made me feel entitled to nothing. That’s one thing I worry about with my kids. They were too young to notice, will they have missed all the lessons that come with not having enough money?
I just wiki’d Gabler. Beside being a writer and Professor at Stonybrook, he is a Harvard Research Fellow at the Kennedy School and Senior Research Fellow at USC’s Annenberg School. I suspect he is not doing these things for free.
I probably didn’t really want to tell the story. Otherwise, I would have.
First Gabler was criticized for not having a second job. Now he has too many jobs? Gabler said he works 7 days a week. Morning to night. It’s in the story.
