<p>^^^“I’m not one of the posters that points fingers,” but maybe “Didn’t mean to come across that way.”</p>
<p>Nope. The get off my*** for a change. I can put that one to good use. I like the sound of it.</p>
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<p>For a change? Can’t recall the last time I addressed you directly, MOWC. Maybe a couple of years ago? I know I’ve complained about your prejudice against the north east in the past. 
Lighten up, please.</p>
<p>Ninety five miles per hour? I don’t think my car can go that fast…and it certainly would be a dangerous speed for car handling. To be frank, I’m glad the state is requiring a court appearance and taking this very seriously, someone could easily have been hurt.</p>
<p>Off topic a but…but is this a college age kiddo? In my house, the car would be coming home!</p>
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Ahh- that’s right. My “prejudice”… I grew up in the northeast, my family lives there, I go there every 4-6 weeks, but because I wouldn’t want to live there and prefer the south, I have a “prejudice”. Got it! </p>
<p>Anyway- to the OP. I was tired since I just had a grueling trip to the northeast, but the point I was trying to make was that odds are that this will not be viewed as a “normal” speeding ticket. You probably figured this out by now, but it all brought back memories of Roanoke, VA for me! Lawyers who handle these things can be quite expensive, too.</p>
<p>MOWC: “Yeah- you gave it some lip service, but I don’t see any real recognition of the gravity of this.”</p>
<p>I hadn’t realized that you have supernatural powers, MOWC. To discern a poster’s true thoughts just by reading an online post is truly amazing.</p>
<p>Guess you missed the smiley. I was making a joking reference to past conversations. I’ll leave it at that, lest I be accused of “bickering.” :rolleyes:</p>
<p>OP here. Thanks consolation – I’m wondering that too (what level of self-abasement is required). I found an old hair shirt at the back of my closet. After I took out the shoulder pads (so '80s) it fit just fine :)</p>
<p>MOWC – I will take the high road here and assume you are sincerely concerned for me and my daughter and are giving me hard-earned advice as an attorney and mother. Thank you.</p>
<p>I take this very seriously. If anyone caught my remarks early on in this thread, my husband is the one who takes it lightly (and he’s the lead footed driver in our family) so I’m struggling against that too.</p>
<p>D had wanted the car at school this semester; I already told her NO (regardless of the outcome of the court appearance). She has not shown the level of responsibility and care required. And I want to send a message to her brother, loud and clear, this is not OK. It’s beyond not OK.</p>
<p>Thank you everyone who took the time to post. I think some of you know this is not bad parenting on display here – this is a big wake up call to risky behavior and I consider myself lucky (as I said before) she didn’t kill anyone.</p>
<p>Good luck to you, OP. I tell you, our kiddos can make us just crazy with worry…I think we could all come up with a long list of examples of, “what were you thinking!” In fact, this reminds me of when I was your D’s age, me and my friend went on a cross country trip in her truck. She managed to get it up to 100 mph on a long stretch of road… while I was laying in the truck bed. I couldn’t get her to stop until she darn well felt like it, I was really annoyed. Maybe your D getting caught like this will slow her down and prevent harm in the future. Keep us updated!</p>
<p>My sister is your D’s age and has gotten into trouble a lot of times-- including flipping my dad’s car off the freeway recently. She took the on ramp too quickly, so far as we can tell, went off the road a bit, panicked, and swerved. It happened too fast for her to really know what happened. She rolled down a hill and got a ticket for failure to use due caution resulting in an accident, I am pretty sure she needs to go to court, too. The car was totaled.</p>
<p>In my family’s experience, when a child does something shockingly bad there is a time for punishment and disappointment, and then there is a time to set that aside and deal with the practical side of the situation. You really have to do both things, and seeking advice on one but not the other doesn’t mean you’re not handling both.</p>
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<p>Well, NYMom, I guess that’s sort of all we have here, isn’t it? Your comment is pretty stupid, actually. This is the internet. We comment on what we read.</p>
<p>My FIL got a ticket going 104 MPH, since he was in his 60s or 70s at the time, the cop was lenient and did not take him right to jail, but the ticket was nearly $3,000 and this was over 20 years ago!</p>
<p>There do seem to be MPH thresholds which are offensive to cross and result in more serious penalites.</p>
<p>Good luck and let us know how it goes.</p>
<p>^thanks – will do.</p>
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<p>That’s a wise decision. 95 mph is “I want to die” speed and whatever it takes to get an life saving message across is worth doing.</p>
<p>Glad you’re sticking to your position, OP. 95 MPH is really a HUGE danger not only to the driver but anyone else on or near the road as there is just NO reaction time and roads are specifically designed for the speeds posted on the speed limit signs, NOT 40 or more miles above that.</p>
<p>As a former personal injury attorney who saw many lives devastated by accidents, I applaud you! It was awful seeing the never-ending sadness in the eyes and lives of those who had lost loved ones too soon. I saw many drivers in court as a judge as well, momentarily contrite but not really and fully recognizing the potential consequences of their dangerous actions</p>
<p>Thank you HIMom – it’s very valuable to get support from a sane, compassionate attorney who has experienced the awful downside of these random speeding events and seen the terrible aftermath, for individuals and their families. </p>
<p>I think as mothers, we feel other people’s pain (as well as our own) and if I were standing near you in a courtroom, I would swear never to let a child a mine drive so fast where they just increase their chance of a terrible accident tenfold.</p>
<p>Most of us on here, Classof2015, are sympathetic to your position. I know I am. I do not think for a moment that I do not have at least one child who would like to see how fast the car goes. I know he has driven 70 on the 35-mile-per-hour road near our house because his sister was in the car. There but for the grace of God go I.</p>
<p>Thank you MD Mom – I really appreciate you saying that – I thought long and hard before even starting this thread, knowing some people would enjoy jumping in and saying I was a bad parent or how could I have let this happen.</p>
<p>Truth is, D had a stress fracture on her left foot from running and had a boot on it, which I think either distracted her or made her right foot pressure on the pedal a little skewed. Or maybe she was just trying to get around a big truck and accelerated too fast. Bottom line is, she’s not a criminal, she’s not a bad person, she made an error in judgment and she has already set aside $ in her next paycheck to pay for fine/attorney. </p>
<p>As you said, there but for the grace of God go I. Who amongst us is blameless, or able to pass judgment? Only the wicked and self-righteous.</p>
<p>I always think it’s so brave to admit that your child did something like this. I don’t have that courage. Instead,when I need help, I look for threads started by parents like you,lol.</p>
<p>It is awful when they get caught; it is great when they get caught. This will only cost money and convenience. There is so much more that could be lost. I wish you the best.</p>