<p>Dropped my daughter off today as well–lots of construction. She’s one of three girls in Advanced Chemistry. The “suite” dorm --Thomas-- is okay --my daughter is in a single which I don’t think she was really thrilled about with two much younger girls sharing a room in the suite. Hopefully she’ll make some connections quickly. This is her fifth CTY course- she’s double-sessioning this year --but really the first time I’ve seen her apprehensive. Go figure.</p>
<p>All this makes me feel nostalgic. Since my S attendeda few years ago, he’s spent a small fortune in glow sticks.</p>
<p>EconProf and sabaray, are your kids at Lancaster? </p>
<p>I just got back an hour ago from Lancaster. My son seemed happy the whole day, with a few anxious periods. His roommate didn’t show up until mid-afternoon, and I could tell that he was worried about what he would be like. I saw his anxiety melt away after the other boy arrived, because he seemed like a quiet, nice kid. The RA, Game Theory teacher and TA seemed great, and I was very impressed by how well organized everything was. It really ran like clockwork. </p>
<p>Thank you all for the suggestions. We ended up staying in the Courtyard Marriott, and it was as new and clean as everyone said. I’d hoped to get to the Pottery Barn/Williams Sonoma outlet today, but by the time we registered, moved into the dorm, had lunch, went to the bookstore, and I went to two parents’ meetings it was 4:30 and too late. </p>
<p>I hope that all our kids have a wonderful session!</p>
<p>Yes, she’s at LAN. I’m glad your son got situated and that things went smoothly! Instructor and TA both seem good…RA was quiet, not really outgoing. I’m hoping that the social aspect picks up…that’s really one of the biggest reasons we send her and the floor doesn’t really lend itself to that. I hope I’m being anxious for no reason!</p>
<p>Yes, my d is at Lancaster – in Thomas. She hadn’t met her suite mates yet when she called in the middle of the afternoon. She’s a rising sophomore, so this is her second-to-last year at CTY. I hope the individual rooms work out – she’s not very good about getting herself up in the morning, and having a roommate making noise always helped in the past. </p>
<p>She went equipped with blue, purple and grey duct tape, and is planning to dress as Drusilla (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) for Halloween. </p>
<p>If your daughter is looking for older kids, tell her to say hi to Kathy who’s in the Cryptology class!</p>
<p>My S (12) is at Stanford (baby CTY). This is his first time and he just called, very sad and homesick. I am very worried about him. He says that he doesn’t think he can make it 3 whole weeks. I thought this would help him grow up a little, but now I’m not so sure I did the right thing.
He can’t come home because we have to take D to the east coast tomorrow for a week for college orientation. I really don’t know what I am going to do. Any suggestions?</p>
<p>Give him time. My S went to a different program a bit younger. Parents were forbidden to call for the first week, and kids were not allowed to call home. The idea was that by the end of the first week, the kids would have adjusted and made friends. And it worked.
So ask him to stick it out for at least a week and review at the end. There’s nothing much you can do anyway. I’m pretty confident he’ll be singing another tune next week.</p>
<p>This is a difficult situation to face. The first day, I think, is hard because the kids are starting their classes and haven’t had much social time yet. Which class is he in? I don’t know your son, so I can’t presume to give advice, and you’ve probably thought of the following ideas already: have you talked about his class and the syllabus? Maybe you can get him to look forward to some topics he’s going to cover. At Lancaster, there is a dance which is less of a dance and more of an experience – it’s mostly group dancing. Maybe that would interest him? </p>
<p>Does Stanford have any traditions that he might favor? At Lancaster, there is an interest in Monty Python, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and more that I am probably unaware of, but Lancaster draws older kids. </p>
<p>I would also call the RA and let him know what is going on, to see if the RA can help get over the initial homesickness. </p>
<p>Best of luck!</p>
<p>pebbles4562, I’d call the camp office at Stanford (they gave you the number surely) and let the staff know that your son called home, you are concerned, and you’ll be away. They’ll let the appropriate folks know to keep a special eye on him, and won’t make it seem as if they’re doing it because the 'rents called all worried.</p>
<p>Besides, it’s only been a day… these things do often pass in time (especially if he hasn’t been away from home like this before). My older son’s first experience was at Stanford “baby CTY” and it was a good experience for him. I hope it turns out well… try not to worry.</p>
<p>Just chiming in to echo the chorus on how great CTY is. Thanks to cc, I would never have known about it otherwise. </p>
<p>My son went to the Hawaii oceanography course first session this summer, our first CTY experience. I picked him up this weekend. (He’s 16 and could fly alone but I am the biggest airplane fraidycat in the world). Although he says the material was not as challenging as he expected (excuse the bragging but the guy did get the highest final test score and pre-test score in his class, go slacker guy!!!) he found it really interesting. And this from a kid who usually finds only March Madness, the World Cup, and video games worthy of the word interesting. Most of all though, he really enjoyed the other kids. As he put it, they were not nerds at all. S is a soccer player - soccer was a big activity. Kids there were from all cultures, Latino kids from LA, African American kids, Bay Area types like us too. And, biggest plus in his eyes, they were cool and funny.</p>
<p>I suppose it’s quite possible that the Hawaii session is v. different than other courses, both in terms of ease of curriculum and the kids who attend. Whatever the root cause, it certainly worked for us. Even caused S to realize that he had learned a lot of chemistry that he didn’t even know he knew during the school year. Yes, that same school year that is frequently characterized as boring.</p>
<p>Only sorry we didn’t find out about CTY sooner. So thanks all.</p>
<p>I think it’s understandable for a kid to feel sad and homesick in the first few days. Perhaps a call to the RA just so they know what’s going on would be in order. My husband had taken our daughter to CTY last year so yesterday at Carlisle was my first dropping off experience. I was struck by the number of kids who already knew each other. These groups of kids appeared quite clique-y to my eyes. My daughter said it was like that last year too and she felt very small the first day or two. It’s probably a good thing I didn’t go to drop-off last year or i would have worried incessantly. Yesterday was comforting because everywhere we went, she ran into kids who were very happy to see her. For kids new to CTY it may seem overwhelming in the beginning to see groups already formed with tight bonds. It’s quite a challenge for natural introverts, but the staff does a lot to bring kids together. Hopefully things will work out for your son pebbles.</p>
<p>Thanks all of you!!! I just left a message for the staff to call back. I’ll write in with an update. You all have made me feel much better.</p>
<p>pebbles, when my D was 8 someone talked me into sending her to an immersion Spanish camp. It was only one week long, and only a 2 hour drive away, but I remember driving away from the camp hitting the steering wheel asking myself what had I been thinking! I almost turned around and got her. I took a tack of to hell with what they say, I am talking to my kid every night. So I called them and I said I needed to talk to her every night. Which I did. And every night she told me she was very homesick but every night she told me she wanted to stay because even though she missed home at night she had fun during the day. Because of the closeness of the camp and because I truly was not invested in whether she stayed or not I would always tell her I would come get her if she wanted me to.</p>
<p>Now, she was 8, and it was close, and I know her to be a sturdy type who usually finds her way and who is not at all shy about getting what she needs. So that was one solution for one situation. Not recommending it fro everyone. However, the thing to realize is that even if he is homesick he will be OK. And even if he does decide to come home, that is OK too.</p>
<p>My daughter has been going away to “sleep away camp” since the summer after her 4th grade year. The social climate is so important! I do hope she’s able to bond with some other students quickly. She’s pretty outgoing but yesterday was the first time in a long time that I’d seen her teary. She had a great first session at Baltimore so I’m sure missing those friends is making Lancaster seem dismal. I’m sure it will work out.</p>
<p>Pebbles, this is just a thought but is there any chance your son might be feeling a bit at sorts because your daughter is going off to college in the fall ao soon after he gets home from CTY? </p>
<p>I know this has come up a few times in conversations with my son while he is at CTY this year. He is enjoying himself immensely but has also expressed concern (sometimes in a very subtle way) about my D., who he is very close to, leaving so soon after he will get back. This weekend we took D. for a quick get-away and I could hear more than a little “I’m feeling left out” in my son’s voice when we talked last night.</p>
<p>I’ve been encouraging them to talk privately every time he calls. As much as I want to hear every word he says while he is away, he seems to really need to talk to her. And, my daughter and I have both also been talking about how cool it will be when he gets to visit her next fall.</p>
<p>Just dropping it as a possiblity.</p>
<p>I was wondering about my son, who is at Lancaster now, but I just got through to him by phone. There were boys’ voices in the background. He sounded happy, and I could tell he wanted to get off the phone and re-join the others (not that I let him off right away!) He answered in monosyllables, except when I asked how he liked his class. He said, with enthusiasm in his voice, “I like it very, very much!”. After a very short conversation, he asked whether I could call back on the weekend, because he was going to be too busy during the week! I asked him just to tell me whether he was completely happy, and he said, “Yes, I’m completely happy. Bye, Mom.”</p>
<p>Pebbles, I hope your son feels better soon. I’ll be waiting to hear how he is doing. I think that Carolyn’s idea about the looming separation from his sister makes sense. My 7-year-old is clearly missing his brother. I’ve asked him about it a couple of times, and he just says, “I don’t want to talk about it.”</p>
<p>NYMom:</p>
<p>How wonderful that your older son is enjoying himself so much! They do have hall meetings late in the evening, so it’s not always convenient to call home during the week (at least that’s what S claimed). Time to focus on S2 now and make a fuss of him…</p>
<p>It sounds like your kids are having a good time.</p>
<p>I spoke with S tonight as well as the counselor who deals with the homesickness situations. Apparently S doesn’t like the “camp” thing. He really likes his teacher, the other kids, and his roommate. He doesn’t like the activities outside of class. His teacher says that he is engaged in the class.
We agreed that we would re-assess the situation at the end of the week. We talked about his sister’s college a little. I’m not sure if that is his problem, but it might be. Oh well, I guess we’ll see what happens. Thanks for all of the wonderful advice!</p>
<p>CTY Lancaster is certainly not what it is made out to be. That also goes for the general CTY authorities at Johns Hopkins. This year an adult male intruder was found in a female dorm room while she was sleeping - she was extremely lucky to escape without being assaulted. Parents heard the news from their children before CTY authorities. The security is certainly not what it is made out to be. They have a female adult floor counsellor (an “RA”) who answered the kids’ question, “what do you love about CTY?”, with “days off” -and thought it was fun to discipline kids for infractions she’d ignored until the last day and have them cry. The ability of the administration to do anything but circle the wagons around their Dean of Residential Life - reminiscent of a Charles Dickens’ school master - was non-existent. We would never go back.</p>
<p>Oh, I’m sorry to hear of the negative experience your kid had at CTY-Lancaster. My oldest D went one year to Carlisle, and the rest of her eligibility at Lancaster; youngest D went 2 years to Lancaster, and our vote is definitely in the “positive life changing experience” column. It sounds like she got a really crappy RA. Although the RAs my D’s got varied in “perkiness” and varied in enthusiasm, we never encountered anyone with a bad attitude like that.</p>
<p>I certainly hope that you continue to follow up with the CTY administration in Baltimore and document your concerns.</p>