I agree with @austinmshauri ; I am really worried you’re going to let your ex destroy your life with your current family and kids.
My BIL is a family law attorney, and he is a huge buffer between two warring parties-I really think you need that for your sanity and your wife and children-this has to be a terrible source of stress for you and for them.
After reading all the details, I really think you need to take a big step back and separate what you want your daughter to be, and what your memories of her are, to what she is right now and who influences her. At some point she may grow up, become independent, and realize that you were the good guy in all of this awfulness, or she may grow up and become a carbon copy of her mother, and you’ve lost her for good.
Just don’t lose what you have now trying to save what you have no control over.