OK, so now I’ve read the details. I’m going to play devil’s advocate because, frankly, I think everyone’s jumped on the “nightmare ex” bandwagon and have glossed over some points.
If I’m understanding correctly, you knew you were responsible for your daughter’s college education cost and you knew her age. Did you ever think to look at what current tuition rates were, say, a year or two ago? Maybe start thinking about the gap between what you’d saved in the 529 vs cost of attendance? Since you’re under the impression that your ex’s assets may be significant, it should have occurred to you that your daughter may not quality for any financial aid and, therefore, she would be full pay… or did you not think that far?
I think, at this point, you need to think beyond getting your ex to complete the FA forms, to the real possibility that there will still be a significant net cost. You haven’t said, in real numbers, how much you would actually be able to pay. Is it enough to send her to an in-state public university as full-pay? I’m not at all condoning your ex’s actions and I’m sincerely sorry about what you and your family have had to go through, but I’m not sure that it justifies you not doing your part, or at least to have given it an honest try.
Your situation really isn’t all that different from those parents who proudly let their kids apply to great schools and only start thinking how to pay for it when acceptances started rolling in.