<p>In this case, I think OP’s dad might want to spend his money on the new family(two younger siblings on my dads’s side) and her stepmom may not happy if her husband spent a great amount on the daughter who is not her child (affecting life quality and various items). I think OP should contact Wellesley for recalculating the aid as a liberal college certainly has larger endowment than WSU. She can explain her situation and appeal for her case(dad changed his mind suddenly and would not pay the tuition). There’re special forms and grant for non-traditional students(She can apply. Her parents never married and father refused to take his responsiblity). And I agree with Karf, if OP’s father has the ability to pay but just don’t want pay(save for new family), then her mom and she should find legal source. I am not suggesting a sue but a letter from lawyer or legal counseling(a warning to make sure the father know her daughter’s lawful rights, his responsibility, the serious consequenses and potential lawsuit.</p>
<p>Emerald, maybe his ex-wife would not take him to court – like what is going on with OP, no one wants to take him to court. These provisions do not “self-enforce”, someone has to take him to court. I really doubt your brother would not have been ordered to pay something.</p>
<p>OP is waiting on admissions decisions and FA packages from quite a few other private schools - maybe this will work itself out when those come in.</p>
<p>The parent who claims her as a dependent for 2012 should be able to recoup some tuition in the form of a federal tax credit if that would help the case with either mom or dad to pitch in (correct me if I’m wron, tax experts). This could get her closer to paying for the state school options. </p>
<p>So, Starbucks, is the situation that you lived with mom until she lost the big house and were forced to move in with dad due to space constraints? Is dad resentful that you are there changing the new family dynamic?</p>
<p>Ok, so mom’s credit is bad because of a home foreclosure.</p>
<p>So, have mom apply for a Plus Loan, she’ll get denied and you’ll get $4k more in loans.</p>
<p>Do send a polite letter to WSU asking for more merit. If you need help with the letter, PM me. I’ve helped many with this issue. It’s not hard to do…and often works.</p>
<p>I highly doubt the privates FA pkgs are going to work.</p>
<p>My gut tells me that the dad hasn’t been thrilled to have a teen in the home…he probably thinks the teen is a “bad example” to the younger kids who have been born within the marriage.</p>
<p>mom2collegekids quote from one thread down: </p>
<p>"Well, of course cost needs to be a deciding factor. Who is supposed to pay? If college education (for publics and privates) were free, that would require a heavy subsidy from gov’ts…which means more taxes for everyone. Why should a person without kids or someone who isn’t going to go to college heavily subsidize others’ college educations? They already subsidize K-12. </p>
<p>Most people do have to consider cost about EVERYTHING…the home they buy, the cars they buy, etc. </p>
<p>Going to college (especially a sleep-away and/or private) is a LUXURY…just like buying a pricey car.</p>
<p>I’m scratching my head wondering WHO you think should pay for kids to go to the school of their choice?"</p>
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<p>How does this jive with kid of dad who gives money to relatives and church but witholds from D and won’t even meet 1/2 of EFC? She could live with mom or dad and attend UW or Bellevue College, or North Seattle, or Eastern Washington University at Bellevue College for an inexpensive 4 year degree option. The whole premise of your argument is that she’s too good for those options. I don’t understand why OP is, in your eyes, more special than all those other kids with higher stats, and tricky home or financial situations.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>I didn’t say that she’s too good for those options. If she applies to those and gets merit and she can cover remaining costs than fine. </p>
<p>She has no control over the fact that her dad won’t pay. Yes, the dad should pay…no argument there…but saying that the dad should pay (and posting that thought over and over again) when he won’t pay anything accomplishes NOTHING.</p>
<p>In such cases, a student with high stats should look for large merit. What’s wrong with that? Cost is still a factor…she can’t go where she wants to go (Wellesley). </p>
<p>And in that thread that you copy/pasted from, I was consistent and said that if that OP had a applied to a few schools that give huge merit for stats (ACT 31), then the leftover costs would be low. His family won’t pay their EFC, either.</p>
<p>" I don’t understand why OP is, in your eyes, more special than all those other kids with higher stats, and tricky home or financial situations"</p>
<p>??? I said that kids with high stats do have more options (merit-wise) than students with modest stats have. I can’t help the fact that schools will give more money for higher stats. That’s their rule, not mine. For me to simply point out that these kids’ stats could get large merit is simply pointing out a fact (you do realize that I don’t make those rules, right? :rolleyes: ) And, the OP in that other thread had somewhat similar stats…also could get large merit.</p>
<p>I just want to add something too. When my nieces dad refused to give any extra money for tutition beyond what he had to pay in child support my sister contacted each of the schools and explained the situation. She told them that she was a single parent and the father would not pay. At that time she also explained that taking him to court was not an option. She was very concerned for her safety if she took him too court. He can be a real loose cannon. So she was hoping to get around it. All the schools, with the exception of Boston College, worked with her and reconsidered her financial aid application solely on her finances/assets. Then as a few months went by and she kept looking into her rights, she tried to speak to the father. He would just hang up and dismiss her. So she got her nerve up and decided to take him to court. She was scared but her attorney(a female who had been in a similar situation) advised her that thats exactly what he wants to do. He intimidates and then gets away with his parental obligations. He told my niece terrible things and made her think that he would be in the poor house because of the caliber of school she was choosing and how this would bankrupt him etc etc etc. When like I said he was ordered to come up with 3/4 of the tuition plus airfare. The court order didn’t come through until November of my nieces freshman year. So he had to refund my sister. Came january my sister completed the finaid forms and like I mentioned they still got the same aid package, which then works to her advantage. (Honestly that i think is unfair. I think the finaid should be split in accordance to how the tuition bill is paid.)<br>
All this just to say that i think this dad would be smarter to just try and work it out with the mom. If he doesn’t that she needs to speak to the schools and explain the situation. She can’t be so passive. Speak up. There is help out there. </p>
<p>BTW my nieces dad has neve spoken to my sister ever again. He does keep in touch with my niece. And thankfully he was full of lots of empty threats and intimadation. Nothing bad ever happened. He is just a jerk!!! Her attorney was right!!! Women have to stand up for their rights… Although I don’t like to see men be taken advantage of either. I just believe in being fair and at the end of the day kids shouldn’t suffer because parents don’t plan well or because they don’t want to sacrafice.</p>
<p>“Women have to stand up for their rights… Although I don’t like to see men be taken advantage of either. I just believe in being fair and at the end of the day kids shouldn’t suffer because parents don’t plan well or because they don’t want to sacrafice.”</p>
<p>It has nothing to do with standing up for their rights, nor would it if it was a man asking an ex-wife who was a hedge fund manager to foot the bill- I think forcing any parent to pay is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. What’s next, forcing them to pay for their kids weddings? Maybe making them give a downpayment to a 40 year old child? If you think about it logically there is absolutely NO difference. </p>
<p>College is a privilege, not a right. There is a reason that 18 is the age of legal majority. Once a child reaches that age there is no reason a parent should be forced to do anything more for a child.</p>
<p>TV, it is very difficult for an 18 YO to pay for college. I support govt programs for poor people, not for kids whose parents can pay, but treat kids from first family as second class.</p>
<p>“TV, it is very difficult for an 18 YO to pay for college. I support govt programs for poor people, not for kids whose parents can pay, but treat kids from first family as second class.”</p>
<p>It’s very difficult for an 18 yo kid to pay for a BMW too but that doesn’t mean I should have to pay for one for them whether they are a kid, stepkid, or whatever. You seem to be confusing a right with a privilege. There doesn’t need to be gov’t programs either. </p>
<p>Kids whose parents refuse to pay (step or bio) can work their way through CC very easily. If my slacker S can do it then anyone can (we pay him back for Cs and above so that he has some skin in the game, but he has to put up the money up front). </p>
<p>Do you think biological parents should be compelled to pay for their kids college if they can afford it? If not, then why not? All kids should indeed be treated equally and that means not forcing any parent to pay for college.</p>
<p>"??? I said that kids with high stats do have more options (merit-wise) than students with modest stats have. I can’t help the fact that schools will give more money for higher stats. That’s their rule, not mine. For me to simply point out that these kids’ stats could get large merit is simply pointing out a fact (you do realize that I don’t make those rules, right? "</p>
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<p>My point is not that she could/should get merit based on stats - she has gotten merit from WSU. That is a fact - automatic 4k based on her stats plus an additional 4k. We do not live in a state that gives away automatic full tuition for 1400+ m/cr. There are many kids with these high but not tippy-top stats in WA state looking for affordable options. Her family HAS money. They choose not to spend it on her. In the scheme of things in our state, kids with merit and need are having their state and school grant money cut and “promised” scholarships not met. If OP gets more money based on her circumstances that would be robbing Peter to pay Paul because there actually is a finite pool of money.</p>
<p>Well in the eyes of a court the rule is that just because two adults can’t continue to live together the child doesn’t have to suffer. They weren’t asked to be brought into this world but once they were than they are “entitled” according to the legal system to the same life (financially) that they would have had if the parents had stayed to together, or in these cases, would have married. Now of course we can all argue that if the adults were married they may have, collectively, decided that the child would not be attending a $50+K school, but since they aren’t married the courts give the benefit of the doubt to the child. </p>
<p>Don’t get annoyed at the legal system. They are just looking out for the child. And I’m sorry to say that when dad’s (not all) just think parenting is sending a check every month then they are in for a rude awakening. And the least they can do is help out and come up with a few more dollars when its time for college.</p>
<p>TV: BTW comparing a college education to a BWM is unfair. I’m sure you would agree, especially since you are doing everything to motivate your S to go to school, that college is a necessity in this day and age. The BMW is not! </p>
<p>I’m glad there are programs out there that insist that parent fund college to the ‘best’ of their ability. As far as I’m concerned there’s nothing wrong with a community college followed by 2yrs at a state school. But once the dad takes part and even initiates looking at expensive private schools then its time to put your money where your mouth is. If you had no intention of paying for college then don’t be a tease!!! Thats immature and rude.</p>
<p>“TV: BTW comparing a college education to a BWM is unfair. I’m sure you would agree, especially since you are doing everything to motivate your S to go to school, that college is a necessity in this day and age. The BMW is not!”</p>
<p>You might think so, and I would agree, but who is to say someone else might disagree (or that a judge might. It shouldn’t even be an issue for someone else to decide. </p>
<p>“But once the dad takes part and even initiates looking at expensive private schools then its time to put your money where your mouth is. If you had no intention of paying for college then don’t be a tease!!! Thats immature and rude.”</p>
<p>I totally agree with that</p>
<p>Well thankfully your not the judge. In the case of my niece she may not be at the great school she is at now, with wonderful opportunities and a future waiting for her. I’m sure many other kids would find themselves in the same situation. BTW, her dad isn’t filing chapter 11 and isn’t losing his home. So that was all for nothing. Unfortunatey, the parent who doesn’t deal with the day to day care of a child really has no idea the expenses involved in raising one. </p>
<p>So its unfortunate but now a days any decent parent, regardless of their own educational background, should consider college a given!!! Does it have to be a $60K school? NO! But Its ridiculous to think that because a kid has turned 18 that you have no parental responsiblities. This is the year 2012 time to wake up. This isn’t the 1920’s where kids get married right after high school. For Pete’s sake they can’t even drink a beer at 18!!!</p>
<p>Dungaree- you never answered my Q. I gather from your responses that you think all parents ought to be required to pay for college for their children. Yes or no?</p>
<p>I think all parents should absolutely have some type of college education in the child’s future. If the family makes $50K a year and the child has normal/average stats, hence no merit money coming their way, then that family should be looking into schools that are affordable to them in their income bracket. I’m not saying that that child should be ‘entitled’ to a 60k school. But they are entitled, as long as they are willing to work hard for their grades, contribute financially by getting a summer job etc., to a college education. I’m not implying for a second that that child should sit back and think that mom and dad have to scrub toilets, while the kid is living the life of Reilly. No, but everyone should be sacraficing for the sake of the kid, who wants an education. How else will that kid make it in this world? </p>
<p>Does that answer your question? I didn’t mean to not answer it before…</p>
<p>“But they are entitled, as long as they are willing to work hard for their grades, contribute financially by getting a summer job etc., to a college education”</p>
<p>Ok. Thanks. That is my point- what if they are not willing to work for their grades, or any of the other reasons you post. Then, you agree, a parent should not be compelled to pay for college for kids. Now lets take it a step further. If a parent should not be forced to pay for their child to go to college then why should they be forced to send a child to college that doesn’t live with them. </p>
<p>I’m not arguing that people shouldn’t plan for college and do everything they can to make it happen (within reason), or that it isn’t important. I am simply saying that forcing a parent to pay for college does not make any sense once they reach 18. Most parents still want to be a part of their kid’s lives, but legally the obligation ends at 18.</p>
<p>“But once the dad takes part and even initiates looking at expensive private schools then its time to put your money where your mouth is. If you had no intention of paying for college then don’t be a tease!!! Thats immature and rude.”</p>
<p>I agree…but do we know if the dad encouraged these applications? I think the OP applied to schools like Yale, MIT, Wellesley, etc…</p>
<p>TV4, its not as simple with divorced parents. Either parent may be more inclined to leave first family on the curb.</p>