So much virtual ink has been spilled on this that I don’t have the energy to enter the fray once more.
I will say that I think that at any elite LAC/university you will find what you are looking for…and you will also find a good number of dedicated partiers. You will also find a number of rich kids who spend money like water on clothes, trips, and eating out, as well as kids who have on-campus jobs to defray their expenses. My S, who was the epitome of non-frattiness going in, decided to pledge a house where several of his equally non-fratty friends had. His brothers at that house were a mixture of all races and ethnicities on campus. It included wealthy kids and kids on full FA, kids from public high schools and kids from prep schools.
I’ve known kids who did overnights at places like Middlebury and Bowdoin, which do not have Greek life, and had hosts who got blind drunk and vomited copiously. When S visited D for Dimensions, his host was a conservative black philosophy major who contributed opinion columns to regional papers.
Apply, don’t apply. Any of the schools on your list will be great.
PS I hope you have at least one safety.