<p>“The parent’s job is to nurture and protect, it’s hard wired into any decent parent. So the “bullet” did strike the OP.”</p>
<p>It’s too late to protect, and I suggested that the OP focus on nurturing. If the bullet struck the OP, then she needs to get her OWN therapy to deal with that wound, not drag her daughter into it. It’s not the daughter’s job to make the OP feel better.</p>