I am sorry for your loss. My Ds lost their father when they were in high school/first year of college. I sympathize with your loss and your sadness.
The loss of our primary breadwinner caused both girls to face financial issues for college. One had to transfer from her OOS university to a less expensive in-state university & commute from home; the other sought merit money and went to the college that offered her the best deal.
And guess what? Both went to med school and are now doctors.
Med school admission really doesn’t depend on where you go to college. It depends on you and your achievements during college (GPA, test scores, ECs, leadership)–things you can accomplish anywhere.
Even if need to begin your college career at a community college, med schools will not care so long as you have demonstrated that you can be successful. This is a route that a number of students follow.
If you parents really aren’t going to contribute anything toward your college education, then you’re going to have to either look for big merit awards–which means going down several steps in competitiveness from the schools on your list, or you need to consider starting out at your local community college for your first 2 years. As dependent student, you can only borrow a very limited amount on your own–$5500 as a freshman, $6500 as a sophomore and $7500 as a junior & senior.
Attending a CC or less competitive college may feel like you’re getting shortchanged, but you have to keep your eyes on the final goal—a career as a physician.