@tpike12 you seem to be missing the point. Your daughter is very accomplished and you have a lot to be proud of. You should be! She has had access to much that has allowed her to flourish and you should be as proud of the opportunity you provided her.
The “hooks” you speak of still make up a very small percentage of total admissions. Why? Because access to those opportunities vary greatly depending on your zip code, parents time at home, having to work, first generation college, etc. I am in the middle class boat, worse yet, newly middle class in a very high cost of living area so savings were not an option and our in state school is by no means financially within reach… but many other schools, including private, are and have recognized her talent and made it far more affordable. She doesn’t have your daughter’s stats, but I promise, she worked just as hard and has many good options. No one took your daughter’s spot.