<p>I don’t know about the above schools, but I can say that Duke seems to get a lot more attention from students in the Northeast than it does from the students around here. In North Carolina, it’s thought of as a mighty good school, but nothing more special than, say, UNC, Davidson, NC State, and maybe others. Students are more focused on fit (and yes, on sports loyalties) than they are on prestige. I do see some prestige creep in some of the urban areas of NC, though. As more families move in from the Northeast, they bring in their opinions on what schools their children “should” be attending.</p>
<p>One thing that has surprised me on CC is that so many posters talk about how their high schools are “feeder schools” for the Ivy League. Some have stated that outright, and others do it by talking about how many students their schools have sent to which Ivies and how the high school counselors know the college admissions officers and are able to advise students on what they want to see in their applications. With this system in place at some schools, is it any wonder that high-achieving students from outside that system are at a disadvantage in the admissions process? Personally, I’m glad our school is way outside that system. Life is too short to spend so many years in a pressure cooker. :)</p>
<p>So Sally, if a kid comes on here, seemingly very innocently, and shares with “the group” here that he got in Bowdoin but is just not sure it is good enough, where do you think that is coming from?</p>
<p>I am pointing out a dynamic I see and that is rampant here. I don’t see why I am being identified as the cause of it or emblematic of it. I am commenting on what I am observing. I’m not as personally troubled as posters are suggesting…and the “decal anxiety” thing was supposed to be a heuristic metaphor more than anything.</p>
<p>And why are some of you speaking to me as though you are opining obvious truths and judging what is healthy or not healthy for me from some mountaintop of expertdom? </p>
<p>By the way, my analyst said…“just because you identify what others are not saying does not mean they are going to acknowledge or even recognize what you identify.”</p>
<p>My favorite decal on my car says “Festina Lente” - props to you if you know the school it advertises! </p>
<p>I’m here to tell you you can live in the NE, a stone’s throw from NYC, and your children can have a perfectly normal childhood pursuing their own interests and still get into those elite schools, if that’s where they want to go. It requires a certain amount of luck and a certain amount of savvy. And a child who takes this route probably won’t get into every top school, but they’ll have good choices, find a good fit and have enjoyed the journey to boot. I can also say, there’s plenty of great schools beyond the usual suspects and CC is a great place to find out about them.</p>
<p>“I would say the NYT blog IS targeted exactly at people like you who have significant anxiety over whether they are doing the right thing with regard to their kids’ college preparation and choices, and feel the need to constantly compare oneself against others.”</p>
<p>How can you say “exactly like you” and how do you know if I have “significant anxiety”? And how would that be different from an inference that your very obvious interest on this site reflects interest, especially when you gravitate so frequently to the comparison and evaluative threads about specific colleges?</p>
<p>Our household maintains a no window stickers policy with about the same level of vehemence as Edna’s “no capes!” policy in the Incredibles. If you don’t step on the hamster wheel, it only looks exhausting.</p>
<p>Our household vehicles sport only decals for the local school to which no one went to. How’s that for ridiculous!?! It appears to be a law where we live that you must have one in order to live here. My husband happily complies. There’s also a sad little Packers decal on my car. </p>
<p>Look, you’re right about a lot of things on CC. So what? What are you railing against? You want to change the CC culture? Have at it! I agree with much of what you say, but… so what? Head, meet wall. Start bangin’.</p>
<p>finalchild, I feel sorry for the kid who worries that Bowdoin is not good enough because that child has obviously been set up to fail by virtue of being set up to succeed, if you know what I mean.</p>
<p>The reason some people here might consider you emblematic (not the cause) of the problem is due to your fixation on this topic and your refusal to accept others’ opinions as valid. Our instinct is to reassure you that it is all going to be OK, but then again you have your therapist for that. (I don’t really care what his/her opinion is on what might be left unsaid in an online “conversation,” however.)</p>
<p>ETA: what IS your problem? You are now stalking my posts? I can comment on any #*% thing I want. Please get over yourself. Your arrogance and stubbornness are breathtaking.</p>
<p>I’m tempted to copy and paste the lengthy college admit/decision list on the 2013/2017 thread…but then, it will be copied and pasted there about every 15 minutes anyway :)</p>
<p>jaylynn, many here don’t seem to see an issue at all. The thing I was most interested in starting this thread was the idea of linearity…the structures and pressures, external and internal, conscious an unconscious that work against more non-linear development. This isn’t just something applicable to New England. There is a entire post-modernist literature about. David Foster Wallace was brilliant on this. There are many smart folks on this board. I thought an interesting discussion might ensue. I surely didn’t intend for this to turn into some weird vote for or against me.</p>
<p>And I don’t have a therapist. I finished my therapy many years ago as part of my training.</p>
<p>Final, I guess I don’t read the same cosmic significance into the “Is Bowdoin prestigious enough” threads as you do. A neighbor asked me last week if Ernst and Young was a prestigious accounting firm- her son got a job offer from them- and she was concerned because she’d hope he would end up at “Price Waterhouse” which was apparently the only one of the current Big 4 she’d heard of.</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s a problem asking the question (I assured her it was plenty prestigious). The kid going to Bowdoin just needs to be reassured that even though at his HS the smart kids go to Big U’s and the dumb kids (or the slackers, or the pot heads) go to smaller schools that at times nobody has ever heard of (which is a pattern I’ve observed in some communities near me) plenty of “people” have heard of Bowdoin and he doesn’t need to automatically go to U Conn if his parents can afford Bowdoin just because he’d prefer a smaller school but doesn’t want to head to obscure U.</p>
<p>Feel free to add your child to the class of 2013 list - we cheer all entries there. I’m not sure why you are so fixated on that - I am happy to come here to talk to others who have heard of my kids choices. Like I have said before in this and other threads, my other kids are not at elite places, and I am as proud and happy for my S at RIT as I am my younger D! Not sure what your imaginary therapist would say about what I am not sayin!</p>
<p>Honestly, no one where I live cares about preschool admission. My kids have lived happy and not very stressed out lives. I have never read any post-modernist literature, or even know what it is (by education I am an engineer!) I don’t think there is a huge problem out there, it is a small group of people seeking advice here.</p>
<p>Reading your last post, I have no clue what this even means! - </p>
<p>“the structures and pressures, external and internal, conscious an unconscious that work against more non-linear development.”</p>
<p>Oops, I see oldfort beat me to it! Plain English please!</p>
What the heck is “non-linear” development? Is this psychology talk? I thought I was pretty good at following CC discussions. Now I feel very inadequate.</p>
<p>Dont feel inadequate, oldfort. Even the thread title had me scratching my head and rereading it a few times. So no, its not traditional psychobabble :)</p>
<p>I figured if ever there would be a group of people who would relate to what I am talking about it would be here. Very, very surprised. I guess it is me.</p>
<p>oldfort-
Sounds like a twist on montesorri speak.</p>
<p>Finalchild,
I dont think most cc’ers, as bright and well educated as many are, are typically likely to get into a philosophical discussion at the level that you seem to desire. Most are pretty down to earth. But there are a few who like to talk about the Math olympiad/International math competitions and their greater meaning to life. They might enjoy the cerebral discussion.</p>
<p>I am a simple unfrozen caveman lawyer, and this Ph.D. jargon scares and confuses me. But, unpacking it, I think it is a lament that in upper middle-class circles (read: the CC demographic or thereabouts), there really isn’t much room these days for what folks used to call “late bloomers.” That’s true, and it’s lamentable. But I sure as heck can’t figure out what to do about it other than to try to reassure my own kids that things are likely to work out for them.</p>
<p>My take on non-linear development - my D as a kid played a few years of soccer, a few of softball, did a few years of Irish dance, a few years of gymnastics, a few years of acting, one year of voice lessons, a few years of instrument playing, before settling on her 2 current sports in 7th grade. Not much continuity as a youngster. I assume linearity would mean we started her in something as a 3 year old and she did it for 15 years?</p>
<p>oldfort, what it means in relation to the world of elite college admissions, which is what CC is mostly about, is that a kid doesn’t have time to get lost or screw up, or get wrapped up in something different, unless he/she can convert and package that “non-linear” time into an “EC” that fits with the linear path demanded. Or you do so with significant risk… at your peril. And so the converse is becoming more prevalent…add a few more APs, go to summer academic camps, volunteer at the shelter after soccer practice but before the 5-6 hours of homework for those 5-6 APs, and 16 year olds declaring that they are going to apply to specific areas of biomedical, genetic engineering at some school that is at least ranked in the top 5 in the country for biomedical, genetic engineering.</p>