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<p>I have tried to respond to some of the issues you have raised in good faith, but at this point, I just don’t know what you want people to say. Do you want us all to reveal that yes, we are all status-obsessed hypocrites? If so, why?</p>
<p>Addendum: there is a certain sense of entitlement in this ongoing lament for the competitiveness of it all. Yes, it takes more to get into HYPS than it used to. Oh well. Play that game or play another. No point in complaining.</p>
<p>But its an opportunity for some to continually “drop” how many schools their kid(s) got into. All under the guise of discussing competitive elite schools. :rolleyes: Groan.</p>
<p>No, what I expect is that folks who are very into this site and invested a lot of energy in supporting and cheering each other through can simply say “yes, we wanted the best for our kids.” I don’t understand the disavowals. I’ve told you I am no different, and if you listen to Bigdog I am even worse than rest of you. There is a thread full of a fantastic list of schools. That’s no accident. And congratulations definitely are in order. But what is wrong with looking at the data a little? What are the demographics of the kids on that list? And by the way, given the remarks about the New England bias, there are relatively few New England schools on the list. How does someone come on here and say “for some of us elite status is just not a factor?” A Mercedes? Really? Any thought to the metaphors on that other thread? I mean you’ve got kids going to schools where they will study this kind of stuff. The cyber cruise, the cyber drinks and food, the good life…Are the Questbridge families on the cruise??? I just don’t understand what the investment is in turning everything on its head.</p>
<p>Final - I am not saying we “didn’t know” and were “finding out” after the fact that the schools were “elite”. I am saying that it was not a factor in the decision making process. At least not for my D. Why is this so difficult for you to comprehend?</p>
<p>With all due respect, final child, what the heck are you talking about?</p>
<p>You will find for many people “what’s best for our kids” may not be going to elite schools and it’s more about fit. We worked with a private college counselor. At one of our first meetings, he asked us what were our top factors in choosing a college. He asked us (parents) in private, then our kid, because he wanted to make sure we were on the same page.</p>
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<p>No. I don’t think that’s controversial at all. I hoped the same for my kids. But I wanted their schools to be excellent. If they were elite, hey great, but elite is the top subset of excellent. They applied to a range of schools that were essentially in the top 40 ranks, all of which we thought were excellent schools for a variety of reasons, and then they rolled their dice and went ED to their top choices, which were both elites (a top 20 uni and top 10 LAC). Their second choices were LAC’s in the 30’s, and we’d have been happy with those too if that’s how the cookie crumbled, because they fit the category of excellent. I think what frustrates me on CC is the mistaken belief that what is elite in some regions of the country is a “national elite,” AND that once you get out of elite-land the quality of the education drops precipitously, when in fact it’s all shades of gray. To pick a random example, Brandeis isn’t Harvard, but by the same token Brandeis isn’t East Podunk U either.</p>
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<p>Exactly. Why <em>shouldn’t</em> kids who are in the reasonable ballpark look at elite schools? The problem isn’t in looking at elite schools. It’s in defining acceptance to elites as one’s reason for being.</p>
<p>Bigdoglover - I bought my Prius for status, haha. But are you bothered by that Final?</p>
<p>Kennedy, because that literally doesn’t make sense. Maybe some of this stuff is so embedded you don’t even know it is setting the parameters. When you and your kid started making initial lists of colleges to consider, were community colleges initially in there, regional state states colleges, 4th tier LACs? Or, was the list dominated by mostly upper tier or "“elite” schools? And obviously, I don’t mean just you.</p>
<p>“We worked with a private college counselor.”</p>
<p>Good choice Kennedy - I’m sure you get good value, as do I with a 2002 Acura MDX with 170k miles. As you know the point is not everyones brain goes to “elite or not-elite” in making decisions.</p>
<p>Obviously. But I already told you once that the first filter was her stats. We are talking in circles here now.</p>
<p>oldfort, no problem with you using a counselor but I must say I read that and counted the seconds until finalchild jumped on it…he didn’t disappoint!</p>
<p>I was assuming final was a she. </p>
<p>Someone mentioned banging their head against a wall several pages ago.</p>
<p>Yes, my kid applied to many high ranked schools. She was looking for her best fit. She would tell you she does not feel she had to make sacrifices in order to achieve this. Besides her 2 sports, she did a few other EC’s in between fall and spring seasons, and some volunteer work in the summer. Yes she takes AP classes but they are not that much extra work overall. Plenty of time for friends, although it took her a couple of years to find her group and there were many Friday nights she was home watching a movie with Mom on TV.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, I agree. I think the elite vs excellence terminology is semantics. When schools ranked in the 30ish range counts as the backups I think that qualifies, but yes, there are some out there who love to crap on any schools outside the top 20, but of course then deny they were even aware of “rankings.” I can’t mention my kids without a passerby saying I’m trying to talk about them, which I’ve avoided, even though I was asked directly, but I’ve already said about 50 times that applying to the better schools that are in range makes a heck of a lot of sense to me. I simply don’t understand the investment in denying an interest therein. Pretty simple.</p>
<p>Yes, mamab, I think female too.</p>
<p>You seem to be arguing against your case now, final. I’m a little confused.</p>
<p>Exactly Kennedy…so the perceived quality of the schools was clearly a factor in making your list and being under consideration. Just by analogy, you can’t apply to HYPSM and then say I could care less if the schools were elite or not. Or is all of this backlash simply reactivity around the word ‘elite’???</p>
<p>Why are you rehashing this topic, finalchild? There are those for whom the <em>only</em> schools they would consider are the “name” schools. There will always be those students. And those parents. This is not news. And while CC’ers are a lopsided bunch who do, with their inherent interest in higher education, tend to have top or elite schools on their/their kids radar/reach school list. But as you will, or should see, if you will stop trying to analyze the posters here, is that most parents really do help their kids find a balance of super duper reach schools, high reach, matches and safeties/likelies, or if they dont, they should. </p>
<p>Your posts remind me of the poster who was grooming his little (as in elementary school) , but slightly unusual prodigy to package him for the elite school. Crikey- the kid was in elementary school!! Whats his dad doing on a college website? Scary. </p>
<p>And attempts to converse with that poster were met with supercilious, condescending barbs. Didn’t make for a pleasant interchange of ideas. This isnt a chess game. Its a conversation. No need to plan out ones next move here or analyze the “board” . And if your kids got into 10 of 13 schools. Congrats. But ok already. As for me, I wish people would stop applying in the double digits. This whole process has gotten way out of hand.</p>
<p>male, female…does it matter? Just difficult! I almost never post on the Class of 2013/2017 thread but I like to read it and I think its great how all support each other and have silly fun. finalchild in #143 actually rips that and implies its elite to “sip cocktails”, etc. I mean give me a break. That is out of bounds and just plain ridiculous.</p>