decluttering--sorting through detritus

Parent Cafe
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<p>Fauxnom, if you work, think of your hourly rate, and then whether selling the stuff on Craig’s or ebay would be worth your hourly rate. The time it takes to post is small, but the waiting for someone to show, the multiple viewings-is it worth your while? I cured myself of planning garage sales, with the thought of what I’d make at work in that time period, compared to a relatively dud garage sale day. </p>

<p>However for my DDs, a garage sale is a way to make some cash, and is worth their hourly rate. Have told them to sell my stuff on Amazon (books) and keep the proceeds. Same for craigs and ebay, though they’ve yet to take me up on those offers. Many things are far better off at a homeless shelter or St. Vinnies. </p>

<p>I need threads like this one. As I’ve cleaned out a hoarder’s belongings, I know well what it is like, and am trying to do the same at my house as I dread leaving my excess for anyone else. It is very hard to muster the energy at times. My best find? A young family with two little girls next door. Easy recipients for my child oriented excess, and I know they’ll pass on what they don’t need or want to other families.</p>

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<p>When we moved from our last house, we unloaded a lot of children’s toys…dress-up stuff, faux-American Girl doll accessories, horses, horses, and horses…by having a ‘free to children’ yard sale. The kids next door (sweet kids whose parents were somewhat over-housed and didn’t have a lot for ‘extras’) and the other little girls around the neighborhood went ga-ga for it. Sure I could have sold the stuff for a couple bucks but this was much more fun. My then 14 yr old D didn’t mind losing her toys so much because she could tell the girls the stories <em>she’d</em> made up about different things and had a long discussion with one little sweetheart about the care and feeding of plastic horses.</p>

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<p>If you feel as though you <em>should</em> e-bay it, check around your area and see if there is someone who will take charge of that for you for a percentage of the sale. There is at least one small business like this where I live.</p>

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<p>Another way to get rid of stuff that may be too “expensive” to donate is to go to a consignment furniture store. You may not make as much as if you sold it yourself, but you loose the hassle. Most consignment store will donate it for you if it doesn’t sell. A great way to get rid of nice newer clothes also.</p>

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<p>“One thing that’s hard for me is that there’s quite a bit of stuff that I know I could sell on Ebay or Craigslist,…” ’ </p>

<p>Perhaps offer it on Freecycle, mentioning the stuff would be good for ebay. There are plenty of families around impacted by unemployment (lots of time, strapped for cash). It does mean loosing the profit yourself, but it could give a helping hand to a family in need.</p>

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<p>At my last garage sale, at the end of the sale, I loaded everything I had left on a table and announced, “It’s all FREE. Help yourself. Please.” People acted surprised and then they were so happy. It was sort of fun and I did feel helpful.</p>

<p>My personal rule is “it goes out of the house, it doesn’t come back in.” Therefore, I was going to cart the remaining stuff to Goodwill. This seemed like a win-win situation.</p>

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<p>Thanks you guys. This helps, and I totally agree that I need to think of the value of my time. Personally, I hate doing garage sales. I’d rather donate something than have someone try to grind me down from $2 to a quarter! And for the big stuff, a consignment store may just be the ticket. I do use freecycle a lot, and am now asking around work to find kids who would like things like the American Girls horse. (Novelisto, your sweet story reminds me of Toy Story 3 - I hope you’ve all seen it!)</p>

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<p>Just a comment: you can get someone to come pick up almost anything, no matter how worn or junky, just by putting it on Craigslist for free. It’s way better than taking it to Goodwill, because you don’t even have to get in the car. I got rid of a stained rug–and yes, I’d tried to clean it unsuccessfully and said so in the ad–in less than twenty minutes.</p>

<p>(Note: I keep a Goodwill box in the garage at all times. It’s for any stuff we no longer want but which is re-usable. Periodically I drive by there with the latest box.)</p>

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<p>AWWW…that’s so sweet!</p>

<p>I don’t like hosting garage sales/freecycle items as I developed a phobia about strangers prowling around my property after several weird, unsolved murders near here. I just set aside extra furniture, lamps, decorative items, etc. until the local churches have their annual garage sales. They come and pick it up if it’s bulky/heavy and I’m happy that the proceeds will help those who help so many in our community. Other organizations, like $ for Scholars, advertise for these types of items as well.</p>

<p>The people down the street put boxes of stuff near the end of their driveway with a big FREE sign all the time. I don’t know what’s in them but they sure do go fast, even though we live on a little country road! I make myself look the other way cuz I don’t want more stuff!</p>

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<p>“I don’t like hosting garage sales/freecycle items as I developed a phobia about strangers prowling around my property after several weird, unsolved murders near here.” - That’s reasonable. I acknowledge that Freecycle has a tad of risk to it. For me the joy of giving offsets it, but weird unsolved murders would likely give me pause. </p>

<p>The curbside charity pickups (like ARC) do see safer. They call every month or so, and typically I have a “give-away” bag in the front closet waiting. The impending pickup gives me an excuse to hunt for more clutter / unwanted items.</p>

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<p>And how to keep it from piling up again? Have a daily “27 Fling Boogie”. Grab an empty grocery bag and walk around your house hunting for 27 things you can throw away. Don’t stop until you get 27. Then tie up the bag and Fling. Go to Flylady.net for more hints on getting control of your home.</p>

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<p>“27 Fling Boogie” - That is inspirational. I saw other Flylady.net stuff last week and thought is was cool.</p>

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<p>I am posting this here because it is about sentimental attachment to a thing that is falling apart, and what to do about it. (I briefly thought about starting a new thread, but if I am exhibiting signs of insanity it will be better that there is not a whole thread about it.)</p>

<p>The thing that is falling apart is a “friendship bracelet” that D made for me about 3 years ago (she is now a first-year college student). I am not generally attached to things that D makes–we have no bins of artwork from third grade, for example. But I do get very attached to certain things (it took me forever to toss her chewed-up baby blanket, strange as that sounds now). The bracelet is another thing that I am quite sentimental about, probably because D is not usually all that emotionally demonstrative. I have worn the bracelet for the past three years and it has become stretched so much that it falls off if I am not careful. D actually noticed this and made another bracelet when she was here for winter break. For the past few weeks I have been wearing both of the bracelets, but tonight when the old bracelet fell off, I put it in the jewelry box. But then I thought, why? Am I saving it so I can take it out and look at it every now and then? (That is the thought that made me think “insane.”) It has no monetary value and no sentimental value to anyone except me, so why would I save it? Why not just wear it until I do lose it? I had a vision of the bracelet sitting in the jewelry box until I died, and then someone (H, or D, or some random person hired to sort through the stuff that is left) throwing it away (which is what I would expect any sane person to do), and that’s when I thought of this thread. So, what would you do? Leave it in the jewelry box? Wear it until it gets lost? Make an appointment with the psychiatrist . . . .?</p>

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<p>It’s not taking up much room, if it makes you smile now & again over the next decade, what’s the harm?</p>

<p>And I dealt with the detritus of my Dad’s death and am this month going through the storage unit with the rest of Mum’s stuff, so feeling pretty harsh about dumping stuff!</p>

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<p>Amesie, since your D saw that the bracelet was in bad shape and made a replacement, you can toss the old one without guilty feelings. If it can be stowed away in your jewelry box, what’s the harm in keeping it? It does not take up any extra space.</p>

<p>For anyone in WA, here is a way to get rid of old clothes and some other items: donate them to Northwest Center. It is a non-profit organization serving the needs of people with disabilities. Here are the donation drop off locations, or you can schedule a pickup at your place: [Attended</a> Donation Stations - Northwest Center](<a href=“http://nwcenter.org/How-Stations.asp]Attended”>http://nwcenter.org/How-Stations.asp)</p>

<p>I will be hauling a huge box to one of these places this weekend.</p>

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<p>Thanks for all of these thoughts. It is inspirational to see how many have made such headway. We will keep working on our home & my mom’s. My BIL is also trying to sort through his house. It really is pretty large for just him & his D (she talks about possibly moving out & living with her long term BF after both are done with college in the next 3 semesters). Will see what he ends up doing–he just refinanced with a 15-year mortgage @ 3.5%! He’s even discussed possibly renting out a room or more.</p>

<p>So many end up with “too much house,” that they tried to & did expand when they had kids in their home & then “suddenly,” they’re in the home alone or with just their spouse and it’s too big & a lot to maintain (but will have to sort through their stuff & figure out the next step to make any meaningful changes). Their newly independent kids on the other hand are struggling to get the funds to have a place to live–ironic.</p>

<p>My folks have a huge house–4 bedrooms, 3 baths, HUGE greatroom, 40x20’ pool and it’s just them and their closets & closets & racks of clothing! Theirs is also “too much house,” but doubt that they’ll ever move.</p>

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<p>HImom, I’ve just begun de-cluttering too, and here are just some random motivators and strategies that are working for me:</p>

<p>It took many years for all of this stuff to collect. I cannot reasonably expect to go through it in a week or a month. I’ve given myself a whole year for this job.</p>

<p>I also cannot reasonably expect that I’m going to devote hours every weekend working on it. Slow and steady is the key for me, so I divided the house up into 12 zones (basically 12 rooms, although some are obviously more challenging than others). I’m tackling one zone per month for this whole year. For each zone, I’ve been breaking it down into bite-size chunks, and doing a little bit every day. For example, January is the spare room and one day I might clean out out one drawer; another day, the closet shelf (or half of the closet shelf).</p>

<p>I have designated a corner of the office as the Goodwill corner. There are always several grocery bags standing in the corner, ready to receive their treasures.</p>

<p>I’m going to Goodwill every single Saturday, so the stuff gets OUT of my house on a regular basis, rather than piling up in the corner, WAITING to be gotten rid of.</p>

<p>I have a huge collection of books which I plan to pare by 50%. Every single day, I ask myself, “If I had to get rid of just ONE book, which would it be?” Into the Goodwill bag it goes.</p>

<p>You’ve probably heard this for clothing clutter, but I’m trying hard to apply it: If I haven’t worn it in a year, into the Goodwill bag it goes.</p>

<p>There’s also the “one in, two out” rule. For every item that comes into your home – an article of clothing, a piece of paper, a kitchen gadget, a book – two must leave your home.</p>

<p>There is psychological weight to too many belongings. Time for a diet!</p>

<p>The fewer things I have, the easier it will be to keep my house clean (not just tidy, but also clean).</p>

<p>And most valuable to me: I found a quote which really struck me, and I’ve taken it as my motto for this year:</p>

<p>*** “Have nothing in your house which you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”***</p>

<p>(And BTW, that phrase “know to be useful” means that you can get rid of all of that stuff which “might come in handy someday.” Dump it!)</p>

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<p>Amesie, I don’t see any harm at all in keeping the bracelet (although I wouldn’t wear it if there’s a danger of it getting lost). If you had rooms piled to the ceiling with your D’s stuff, then it might be time to seek professional help. But this is one small item that means alot to you. Keep the bracelet, dump the guilt. :)</p>

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<p>Amesie - I think that it would be ok to toss the bracelet. But it would be ok to keep it too. Things that are small/flat/light have the best chance of surviving my de-cluttering. Things that are large/bulky/heavy are more likely to go to the give-away (or throwaway) bags. </p>

<p>HINT - Small sentimental things like that can easily be tossed in with the Christmas ornaments. </p>

<p>We keep all sorts of old id cards, tickets, kiddie art etc in with the ornaments. It is fun to look at them each year, and some get hung on the tree. This year we added a single red hand-knit mitten from a dear aunt (surrogate grandmother) that died a few years ago… that got put on the branches.</p>

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<p>One of my 2011 goals is to declutter my life, not just my house (although that, too). I have hidden several Facebook friends who post constantly and clutter up my news feed. I am also in the process of trimming down my email list. </p>

<p>Talked with our financial adviser and am consolidating several old IRA’s, Roth accounts, etc.</p>

<p>Clutter comes in many forms.</p>