<p>There are plenty of such terms for males as well. “Man up” is used constantly lately…it’s no less offensive than many other little barbs. “You throw like a girl” can mean anything from a tease to a gentle ribbing to an insult depending on the context.</p>
<p>Possibly, some overlap. Although wouldn’t, “You throw like a girl,” typically be an insult only when directed at a male ball player? I can imagine a girl laughing and saying, “Well, yeah. Of course I do. I am a girl.” </p>
<p>So, it’s looking very hard for a reason to be offended imho I suppose you can find one but it gets a little silly.</p>
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<p>What on earth does that even mean? </p>
<p>I enjoy being a woman. I love sports and was a varsity athlete. I don’t own anything pink and I can’t remember the last time I wore a skirt or dress. I fit close to zero female or lady stereotypes so does that mean I don’t enjoy being a woman?</p>
<p>I think “you throw like a girl” is pretty much always an insult. It doesn’t mean “you lack typical male upper body strength, and thus your throwing ability is more like that of many women, who have less upper body strength.” </p>
<p>Well, there are girls who enjoy being girls and it’s usually an insult when said to a man. it certainly doesn’t make girl or lady bad words in all contexts.</p>
<p>I’m noticing romani enjoys being a woman, not a girl. ; )</p>
<p>Yes, but Romani is not everyone. Katy Perry is an example of a woman who enjoys being a girl. There are more. </p>
<p>oh my - there’s a rabbit hole. </p>
<p>Sorry. I just can’t get on the girl and lady are insulting labels bandwagon. Context is everything. Usually, they are harmless descriptive terms. Often, compliments. </p>
<p>I “throw like a girl” and love dresses. But I also like to put on my barn jeans and get dirty, I lift weights and play video games, and if we had to name one I am the leader of my household. There isn’t anything I could want to do or say that I wouldn’t go for just because I’m a woman. A lot of things about me aren’t traditionally “female,” but I don’t think that takes away from my womanhood and I think it’s kind of insulting to think it would have to-- that I can’t identify with women, or indeed ladies, because it’s better that we all be genderless so we don’t have to feel oppressed. That’s a kind of passive sexism. Can’t I be female AND not be oppressed?</p>
<p>And I think all of the above characteristics, despite not being “traditionally female,” are not mutually exclusive with being a lady. I just don’t wear my dirty barn jeans to cocktail parties. 
There is a time and a place for everything, being socially appropriate is an important part of being a “lady” to me. That doesn’t mean I can’t speak my mind or wear dirty barn jeans, but I like to maintain a sense of grace and dignity while doing so. “Grace and dignity” can be loaded words, too, I realize while typing this that there was a time where those exact words meant NOT speaking your mind. So I guess further clarification is necessary that that’s not what I think-- I just mean I am not needlessly rude to make myself feel more powerful than other people. I am a smart, strong woman, I can stand up for myself without being rude or cruel and I don’t need to resort to mud slinging to rise in society. That is all I mean by the words I use. And that is both ladylike AND gentlemanly, that standard of behavior is what I expect from all of polite society regardless of whether we are talking about a man or a woman. </p>
<p>Here’s another angle to think about… I can’t really think of any “subservient” things a MODERN lady is really currently expected to do as part of being a lady by society at large. Gentlemen, on the other hand, I think have it a bit different. This is changing in the eyes of some women (and it is women making these decisions for men, not the men themselves), but traditionally a gentleman is expected to hold open the door, pull out the chair, at least offer to pay for the first date, etc. We still see these expectations every day even if some women are moving away from these expectations. If we are so outraged by lady, why is there not similar uproar over gentleman? A “gentleman” is basically socially required to sacrifice his own comfort for the sake of the lady in his company at all times.</p>
<p>Quite frankly, right or wrong, I don’t feel sorry for men being in that position and I admire a man that does all of the above things. But it does seem like it’s worth thinking about. I don’t even know without deeper consideration why I think the way I do or how I justify it. </p>
<p>ETA: On “girls who like being girls,” there is more than one way to think about that, I guess. If you hear “girl” or “woman” and what immediately comes to mind is a list of stereotypes, then maybe you have a problem. When I identify as a woman those are not the things that I mean, and when I say I like being a woman that is not what I mean. If that is what you think of when someone identifies you as a woman, I think you are the most oppressed of all. Who decided that those things are synonymous with “woman” and that we are powerless to change that? Women have BEEN changing that for generations just by choosing to behave differently and forcing societal expectations to evolve, that doesn’t mean they’re less “womanly.”</p>
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<p>I’m trying to think of an example of “girl” being used as a compliment. Anyone?</p>
<p>“She is a very nice girl.” Nothing nefarious. Why get insulted? Actually, I can’t imagine anyone being offended by that simple statement.</p>
<p>Do we want to ban boy, too? Just curious.</p>
<p>another rabbit hole.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t want to be called a girl. Depending on the context, I do think it can be insulting. When I think of myself as a “girl”, I remember my tutus and when I still had an “i” in my name. I don’t think it’s insulting in and of itself. I also don’t think it’s appropriate for anyone else to define what is and isn’t “girl-like”/“lady-like”/“woman-like”. Being a girl/woman/lady doesn’t mean fulfilling some checklist of qualifications. </p>
<p>Recently, a young woman described herself to me as a girly-girl. She’s also a race car driver. But, she obviously enjoys being a girl. Lipstick, curls, ruffles, and speed and power. They are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the girl thing is an asset in a male dominated field. She has fun and she wins.</p>
<p>I was thinking of that myself. “She’s a very nice girl,” if you’re looking for a reason to be offended, you can say, “what? does that mean she’s only nice for a girl? what does that mean?” but that would be ridiculous, so I am not sure why that same line of logic seems to attack other words.</p>
<p>I can see some argument for genderlessness in that people want to be a person before they are a man or a woman, and I can agree with that. I just don’t think it’s worth walking on eggshells over, if someone is attacking your personhood and ascribing hurtful or damaging gender stereotypes that you do not identify with, trying to marginalize you by your gender, you know that and it’s not because they used the word “girl” or “lady.” Do we have no ability of discernment? And, personally, it makes me feel under attack as a woman that it seems to be women leading the discussion of genderlessness while men stay silent-- of course men have no problem being men, they are not being oppressed! My response to being oppressed as a woman is not to not want to be a woman anymore… that just puts a bad taste in my mouth. Replace gender with race, or sexuality, no matter how you spin it that does not feel good. It doesn’t feel good to have other people try to take your “labels” and change what they mean to things you do not agree with, but I don’t think the solution is to throw away the word… especially when I think it’s highly arguable whether it really even means the negative things some people think it means. I don’t think that it does!</p>
<p>girl = child</p>
<p>woman = adult</p>
<p>I would throw out, as a suggestion, that it’s most likely OK to use “girl” when you would use “boy” for males in the same context, and “lady” would similarly be OK when you would use “gentlemen” in the same context.</p>
<p>But if a male sergeant says, “Let’s go, men,” to his male troops, what does a female sergeant say to her female troops?</p>
<p>Does anyone know?</p>
<p>I just don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody address a group of women as “Women,…”</p>