<p>Legroom-- both of my parents are teachers and foster parents! Like you, I find comments by people who blatantly bash public education to be clueless. I spent every summer helping to prepare the classroom for September. We painted and did our own repairs. My parents bought their own bulletin boards for the hallways and white boards for the classroom. They did/do homework every night. Right now, they are hitting all the back to school promotions for school supplies for the kids that can’t afford them. They became foster parents (and my sibs and I foster bro/sis) because we all agreed there was more we could do.</p>
<p>Fostering opened my eyes to the “real” world some kids experience. I am sometimes surprised these kids even get out of bed and go to school ( although for some it is way better than being at home). These kids are in EVERY public school classroom. These kids do not see that education is a ticket to a better life. Yet, teachers constantly try with them. I know my parents never give up on a kid (even though many make it hard not to).</p>
<p>My parents have begged me to not become a teacher due to the type of disrespect teachers get in this country. It seems many feel free to constantly degrade them and act like they could do a better job when in fact they have NO CLUE what actually goes on in a classroom. Many people can only see the world through their own experiences and cannot understand that those viewpoints are not universal.</p>
<p>Wow! Okay, guess we have lots of teachers and spouses and kids of teachers on here and this is a sensitive topic.</p>
<p>I think as a society we are pretty much in consensus on the glaring need for reform in how we recruit and most importantly retain teachers in our public schools. </p>
<p>Dstarks post on how we tend to blame poor kids for their lives not going well struck me as very off key. I do not think that is a popular sentiment in this country at all.</p>
<p>I do think that it’s a political football though, especially for those who draw a livelihood from the publication education franchise.</p>
<p>^ I believe ere are over 7 million teachers in the US so when you make sweeping offensive comments about them you are guaranteed to be offending someone.</p>
<p>I don’t know if your approach is helping in the teacher recruitment and retention department.</p>
<p>^ Well, if you want to know how I really think about this issue here goes: I think departments of education should be abolished at the federal and university level entirely. I think an “education degree” is complete nonsense. </p>
<p>^ that should fix everything. How about providing real, substantive suggestions for improving education. </p>
<p>Also, why is an education degree complete nonsense? Is teaching something that anyone can naturally do? BTW both of my parents hold a degree from UCB in science but I think their subject knowledge is secondary to their teaching knowledge.</p>
I find this statement really disturbing. I have been married to H for 30 years. I have friends who are divorced, remarried, single, with wonderful/thoughtful kids. I also have friends who are in toxic marriages and have had bad effect on their kids.</p>
<p>“Dstarks post on how we tend to blame poor kids for their lives not going well struck me as very off key. I do not think that is a popular sentiment in this country at all.”</p>
<p>I see it in a lot of places. Poor kids drop out of school, have babies, use drugs/alcohol, and commit crimes at higher rates as a direct result of the inadequate resources and support in their lives. They do get blamed for this – it’s especially visible in the enthusiasm for trying kids as young as 12 in adult courts. I think a lot of Americans look at 18-year-old dropouts/parents/addicts/criminals and shake our heads over their terrible choices and screwed-up lives, but any kids would have ended up in the same wreck if they’d had the same unmet needs. I don’t think we take much responsibility for preventing those harms. Our blame of poor children is evident in our lack of sympathy for the poor young adults they become.</p>
<p>No, I do not agree. I think our society tends to see childlhood and adolescents for what they are – rites of passage – and I do not believe the average American blames kids for their mishaps.</p>
<p>Oldfort, I’m 53 and I don’t know any kids raised in families where mom and dad split that are very happy now. I don’t think it’s cool at all. Sorry. Don’t.</p>
<p>If there’s a lot of affluence and influence between the parents then that can compensate and give the kids a reasonable start. But in general, for most, not good.</p>
<p>Feel somewhat lynched here. Just felt Dstark’s tone was completely off key in terms of the American sentiment for kids right now. </p>
<p>I think some who have a personal franchise heavily invested in the victim population perpetuate a myth that this is an ultra-harsh society that turns its back on the young and vulnerable, etc.</p>
<p>Not buying it here. I think we are a society that cares deeply about our young ones.</p>
<p>^ Excellent point, of course. Mine don’t hesitate to let me know immediately when they think they are miserable. And they’ve certainly witnessed a lot of big deal arguments between mom and dad. Not all daisies in our household.</p>
<p>I think the single mom epidemic, the “never hear again from dad” thing . . . that stuff is truly toxic. And I think in general we’re talking about a different SES. So yes, economics are a big factor. A good income and reasonably engaged parents can make a lot of dysfunction turn out fine.</p>
<p>So in that respect lower SES kids with derelict parents have a heck of a lot stacked against them. I get that but I think America also gets that. I don’t agree with Dstark that America is really that willing to blame kids for what goes wrong in their lives.</p>
<p>Really? You don’t know ANY? Pardon my skepticism but I don’t buy it. </p>
<p>I can personally say my father and sister are both vey happy individuals without married parents. They’re two among many people I know. Maybe I just attract really happy people :)</p>
<p>^ or maybe you should practice good reading comprehension and read my whole post :)</p>
<p>And aren’t you, btw, kind of struggling chronically with depression? Not trying to be mean or anything but that was my sense from some of your posts.</p>
<p>But if some of you on this thread want to caricature me as some sort of Christian Right Pro-Marriage Fascist, then go for it. I’m sure it will be fun for you.</p>
<p>I’m sorry…but money can’t buy happiness. There are plenty of folks with lesser amounts of money who find happiness doing things that really matter. Money can’t buy some things. AND the things money buys do not always indicate a happy life.</p>
<p>I know plenty of lower SES folks who are mighty happy. They have happy kids…oh and by the way…some of them are not married and never have been. They let the things they DO define their lives…not the amount of money they spend. To be honest, I think that is terrific.</p>
<p>I hope my kids have grown up to realize that being a higher SES is NOT what matters…it’s what is inside them that does.</p>
<p>Here, here to thumpers post! I may have been poor growing up, but I was never an unhappy kid. No matter what was going on, my family was always very close and we never starved. It’s brought me up to appreciate the simple/free/cheap things in life. There are few things I enjoy more than sitting down to a game of euchre with my friends/family :).</p>
<p>Depression is a MEDICAL condition. And it started AFTER my childhood. It started/was triggered when a drunk driver nearly took away my dad and my life spiraled out of control. I became my dad’s caregiver at 13 on top of a whole lot of other things. When your dad can’t remember who you or your mother are, it takes a toll on you. When your dad becomes someone you don’t recognize, physically or mentally, it can cause some problems. None of the depression was caused by things in my parents’ control. </p>
<p>When my depression is under control- which it is now and has been many times through out my life, I am VERY happy. I fell into another deep state when I nearly lost my best friend recently to an overdose on top of watching both of my parents struggle through medical problems. </p>
<p>If you must know.</p>
<p>ETA: OH and it was my parents who got me into therapy. My parents who have helped pull me out of depression numerous times. And my parents who have been my strongest support throughout this for years. If it wasn’t for them and my ex-fiance (who I was with for over half of the time between now and my dad’s accident), I don’t know what I would have done.</p>
<p>Good to hear that your depression is under control, romani. Many of us will struggle with it at some point during our lives - it’s an equal opportunity illness, married parents or not, upper-level income or not. I don’t see how it applies to the question of how to educate this nation’s children, in any event.</p>
<p>And we can blame whomever and whatever we want for the ills of our education system - we still need to educate every child or pay the price for failing to do so. Which we now are, it seems, because we’d rather point fingers than educate.</p>
<p>Is it really a question that <em>in general</em> kids in a single-parent household have worse educational outcomes than kids in two-family households?</p>
<p>While there may be issues with unions and politics in the educational system, I don’t think these are the root cause. Until parents are held responsible and accountable for the performance and behavior of their children, and the schools are not required to fulfill the role of surrogate parent, it’s going to be impossible to do more than nibble around the edges of the problem. Abolishing the unions isn’t going to change that.</p>
<p>It just seems obvious that there is a lot more time/money/energy to focus on your kids when there are two parents in the household, married or not.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m wrong though.</p>
<p>34% of all children now live in single-parent households (66% of black children), and in some states the %age is much higher. It’s a cultural issue that can’t be fixed by the school system.</p>
<p>To be honest, I don’t think generalities do anyone any good in this case. Kids are not generalities, they’re kids. </p>
<p>I agree with your second paragraph. Until the home life gets fixed, there is relatively little that teachers can do. Especially given the stranglehold restrictions that many teachers have on them.</p>