Here’s a little thought experiment: A certain fraternity on campus has developed something of a sketchy reputation. Various women have found themselves doing things they didn’t like doing at parties there. Some think they may have been drugged, but no one ever got a drug test. A few people have complained to the university’s sex police, but their stories were not clear enough to take any action. Some other women think that it’s fun and edgy there, sexy and a little dangerous. They have gone and willingly participated in hijinks. But they understand it’s not for everyone. The latter group is smaller than the former group. And still other women just automatically avoid anything to do with fraternities, without distinguishing among them.
As a result, the fraternity has had trouble attracting older women to its parties, besides the small group of core partisans. So it concentrates on getting freshman women to attend, women who are not yet plugged in to the gossip network.
Your daughter is a sophomore at this university. She has heard the rumors. But she likes parties. She wonders, should she go to a party at this frat? What do you tell her? Do you tell her those rumors are unsubstantiated, and she has a civic duty to disregard them? That she shouldn’t condemn a group of men she doesn’t know personally solely on the basis of their association with a club about which she has heard some vague bad things?
Your daughter is a brand-new freshman at this university. She is anxious to know what college parties are like, and to meet guys who are more interesting than the guys in her high school class. Do you hope someone lets her in on the rumors? Why not the student newspaper? Because the New York Times wouldn’t do that?