I went to Marquette. Like you, ND was my top choice, but I did not get in. I absolutely loved Marquette for all the things you are looking for. Very tight community, great dorm culture. Most Freshman and sophomores live on campus. Majority of juniors and seniors live in apartments and houses on the blocks immediately adjacent to campus, so it still feels like a Marquette neighborhood. All the sidewalks and restaurants in the neighborhood are filled with Marquette students. There’s a lot of drinking, but I think that’s typical, and I knew a lot of kids who did not drink or drink excessively, including myself, so many other things to do. NCAA basketball is huge at Marquette. And so are intramurals. The city of Milwaukee is at your doorstep. A very German, clean, friendly city. You can easily walk from campus right into the heart of downtown. So much to do. At the same time, for an urban campus, Marquette is self contained, slightly, apart, peaceful.
If you visit, would be best to spend the night as a guest in a dorm. I think you will fall in love with the school.
Best of luck!