<p>Concur with the other 3 responses - take advantage of your school’s counseling programs. They are there to help you succeed. </p>
<p>Look around. You have acquaintances, and I’d wager more are really friends or can become friends than you may realize. Very few people your age know what they want to do in life, most of us manage to figure it out as we go along. Some of my childrens’ cohort are very focused, some are facing graduation in a few months. You have time to figure things out. Leadership - I have never been comfortable as a sterotypical leader, but guess what - there are many styles of leadership and ways that “make a difference” and you’ll find the situations where they work. Some people make their greatest contributions behind the scenes and believe me, we are appreciated for it. Many of us adults are introverts but learn ways to move out of our comfort zones or make them not matter so much.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have goals (DC, semster abroad, thesis research etc.) and you are covering your major expenses which is more than many of your peers can say. I’d call those significant accomplishements. As a writing tutor, you have already demonstrated effective interpersonal skills - constructive critquing and helping someone improve their writing is HARD. You have an excellent GPA and language skills I for one, envy. </p>
<p>You have time to establish relationships with peers and faculty at your school - consider your areas of interest and find someone on faculty working in that area who will take you on as an undergrad researcher or for your honors thesis work. Does your school have an organized undergrad researcher program? The honors program may provide a suitable framework - this is part of the school’s education mission professors are expected to encourage. You are in a supportive environment now, use it and opportunities like the internship (as scary as it sounds to you now) and student organizations in anything you remotely like doing (most groups are enthusiastic about new members and all you have to do at first is just show up) to figure out what you enjoy doing (or at least what you dislike) and build a base for the future.</p>
<p>Your parents may be reacting to the doom and gloom news stories about unemployed graduates with BAs and huge student loans - most of which is more about paying off the loans than anything else. If you don’t have student loans, you are WAY ahead of your peers and that’s a big breathing space for you. </p>
<p>Take physical as well as mental care of yourself, don’t sweat it. You are not crazy - it’s a big world out there and your thoughts are not atypical. Good luck!</p>