<p>Dealing with an estate for a person to whom you were close if very difficult, both the emotions involved plus the numerous details. Like JYM says, I have been avoiding mentioning that Dad is deceased, that really complicated things.</p>
<p>One really fun thing was the CC which he set up with online billing only, but the login info noted in his list was not working. So, I used the “forgot password” info, however that was still sending to an email address which had been cancelled…and it was not a fun bank to deal with. That took a while and was unnecessary stress.</p>
<p>It’s not that paying the MC bill is a rough thing, it’s that there was no paper bill and the system did not work for me to login in and the login info was out of date and and and, nothing is easy when you are doing this because it is not your stuff so you don’t know what is going on. Doing taxes is exciting, too. Thankfully his accountant had a worksheet showing the info given the prior year (like interest from which accounts, etc)</p>
<p>It has definitely inspired me to be more organised and clear in leaving lists, including email & website logins, for whomever has to clean up my mess.</p>
<p>I’m just noting that there might not be any obligation on any family member to handle any of these details, unless they want to. Perhaps the leading creditor will have an administrator named, or if there are no assets, perhaps nobody will, and everybody involved will just eat their losses.</p>
<p>Agree, Hunt, that no one is obligated to do anything. But the OP said his/her mom would lose sleep over this stuff, and if any of the creditors geta a hold of her phone #, they could harass her even though she has no obligation to pay. I woudl think the remaining sibs would want to protect her from that. It is hard for a 90 yr old to stand up to bill collectors.</p>
<p>Yes, that is why she should write a letter to the hospital explaining that the person who owes he money has passed on and that the debt is not hers and to not contact her further about the debt. There are numerous examples online on how to write these letters and they are very easy to write.</p>
<p>If they continue to harrass her, then might be the time to get the state attorney general involved or find legal aid. But we’re not at that point now, and right now all that is needed is a cordial letter asking them to cease contact with her because it is not her debt.</p>
<p>The sibs may wish to help mom change her phone number as well and perhaps monitor her mail so she won’t see any letters from collectors that would upset her. It’s hard for ANYONE to deal with aggressive bill collectors, especially when they are bereaved.</p>
<p>I agree with BOTW that the sibs should help the mom with a letter, asking them to cease, explaining the the debtor is dead and no one is responsible for his debts and specifically stating that she is NOT to be contacted further as it is not her debt.</p>
<p>Exactly-- the sibs need to help the mom. She probably cannot do this herself. Kinda doubt she is computer literate to be able to find appropraite sample letters and/or to type the letter. I could be wrong.</p>
<p>She has now received a $10k hospital bill for him and is in a panic about paying it.</p>
<p>she probably received the bill because the hospital is hoping that there is some “estate” of his that will pay the bill. The mom isn’t responsible for the debts of an adult child. </p>
<p>Does this guy have anything? A car? Unpaid vacation at his job? Anything? If so, the value of those things are his estate. Those proceeds might have to go pay the bill.</p>
<p>No need to hire an atty…this isn’t complicated and an atty will just cost unnecessary money. An atty saves a person money…when there is MONEY TO SAVE…there’s no money to save here.</p>
<p>I can believe the bill just for the resuscitation effort. Meds, equipment, intubation, several disciplines, maybe anesthesiologist, ER physican, X-rays, lab work, radiology interpretation. It cost approx 600.00 just to walk in the ER and that does not include any testing or professional services.</p>
<p>Even if there’s any money in the estate, don’t just pay the bill. Especially if the hospital is non-profit, there are various grants for people with low incomes or low assets. Sometimes, it’s even possible to get Medicaid retro. If mom hadn’t signed a consent to he his financial guarantor, she doesn’t have to worry about her money - just the estate.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t start with an attorney and start running up a bill in the mom’s name, though.</p>
<p>Even if the ambulance, EMT’s and all ER staff were employed by the hospital-- agreed, it is hard to fathom that a DOA could generate a 10K bill, even, I would think, if that included autopsy and morgue charges. That said, I am sitting here looking at 40K in charges for the first of the 2 hospitalizations ( the first 4 days) before my dad was transferred to a different facility. Thats just the hospital charges-- not the doctors charges. That said, he wasn’t DOA.</p>
<p>To update, today’s “dance for my father” involved dealing with a billing company for a Dr. The claim was processed as if the Dr was OON (out of network). I called the billing co- spoke to someone who was not very nice. I then called the Drs office who told me he was OON for outpt but in network for inpatient (and also it depended if he billed as thoracic service or palliative care), and that she would have the billing person (for whom she only had an email address she didnt give me) contact me (that was a week ago- never heard a word). I went on line (last week) and registered my dads insu (actually 2 insurances to register – BCBS for hospital, UHC for Drs) and was able to see the EOBs AND that there was a letter to this billing office asking for more info about one of the claims (funny she didnt mention that). </p>
<p>Today I get a threatening letter (well my dad got it-- what are they gonna do, wreck his credit??) about the bill. So I try to go on line onto the insu account to ck the status of the claim. No longer can access the account since the insurance is now deactivated. So I call tech support who transfers me a few times and finally I get a NICE person who says she will have someone contact me in 24-48 hrs to reopen the account so I can access it! So hopefully in 24-48 hrs I’ll be back on line, but I still cant reach anyone in the billing dept of the hospital (if that is who I am supposed to talk to) to get the inpatient/outpatient thoracic/palliative care thing straightened out (it says inpatient on the bill but who knows what medicare did when they sent the claim to the secondary insu for processing). So tomorrow I will call his outpatient office back and ask his staff (Nicole) to again email billing (Raquel) to see if they can help me get this straightened out. If the Dr is in network, I am not paying an OON deductible. </p>
<p>And this is just one doctor. And its taken hours and days and it still isnt fixed. I can’t imagine a 90 yr old grieving mother having to deal with this kind of stuff. (Yes she can just say go away and hang up, but there may be issues that do have to be dealt with). I also cant see having to have her change her phone #. That would be awful . Not easy to get the word out to friends and family who want to reach her, and the elderly dont handle change easily anyway. No way would I change her #. No way.</p>
<p>As I’ve said quite a few times, she just needs to write a letter to the hospital saying the person that owes the bill is deceased and to not contact her about the bill in the future. She can attach a copy of the death certificate if she likes. It’s really that simple.</p>
<p>Yes, she probaby will need family to help her with this. Most 90 year olds would. But she has family around that can help her - they are all the people telling her to not pay the bill. I’m pretty sure that any one of them would be more than happy to help her write the lettter.</p>
<p>It doesn’t need to be typed. A handwritten letter (in legible handwriting, which might be a little challenging for some 90 year olds) would do just fine.</p>
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<p>There’s no need to change her phone number, because once you’ve advised a debt collector that you don’t own the debt and to not contact you about it in the future, they aren’t allowed to under federal law. </p>
<p>If they continue to harass, then it’s time for plan B. But we’re not there yet.</p>
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<p>Perhaps there may be other issues with the estate that someone might need to deal with, but as Hunt says, it doesn’t need to be the mom unless the mom was designated as the executor / executrix of the estate. It can (and should) be someone designated by the court or other entity.</p>
<p>And as I’ve said quite a few times, she is 90yrs old and grieving. She will need help writing the letter correctly, with all the identifying information on it, whether it be hand written or typed (though in this day and age typed is better, easier to keep track of, make copies of/print off, etc). Even if she writes the letter to the hospital, she’ll probably get phonecalls or letters from other bill collectors for the rent, utilities, cellphone, internet, credit card, car loan repo man, you name it. Its not as simple as one letter to the hospital. That is just a start. This poor lady is going to jump every time the phone rings. HImom was right about that!</p>
<p>Oh-- good news-- my dads mortgage payment posted this evening!! One less thing to deal with…</p>
<p>The person who can most clearly answer the question of whether the bill needs to be paid or not is the personal representative (executor) of the estate, whoever that is. She or the siblings should check with that person, and if they are unsure, THEY should ask an attorney. A legal aid attorney if they don’t have any money to spend on one. No one is saying they should go spend a lot on an attorney (no one on this thread has suggested that). But there are free legal aid services available. That is the first question our attorney answered for us, was whether we had to pay certain bills. For example, my deceased sibling’s truck was in for repairs and the shop refused to release it without payment. Our attorney advised us to just pay (a few hundred $), as it was cheaper to just pay it than go through any kind of legal action to get it back.</p>
<p>I am suggesting that she ask her remaining kids to help her out with this. They were kind and caring enough to cover the cost of the funeral, they are surely willing to help with this. One of her adult kids can write the letter to the hospital (on the computer) and keep it as a template for any other future needs. All mom hs to do is sign the letter-- and the kids attach the bill and mail it back (keep a copy and send with delivery confirmation so there is a tracking #-- much cheaper than certified). Then they change the message on mom’s answering machine that adds to the greeting something like “please do not leave any messages on this machine for the late XXX. We are not responsible for any of his debt and will not accept or return any calls related to his financial matters”. And screen all incoming calls. Mom can answer the phone if she hears a familiar/friendly voice on the machine. How does that sound? And if they need an appointment with a legal aid atty (if they can even get one) to be sure they are doing the right things, whats the harm? Knowledge is power.</p>
<p>I cannot imagine what it must have been like for the mom to find her own child deceased in his apartment. Condolences to her.</p>
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I am suggesting that she ask her remaining kids to help her out with this. They were kind and caring enough to cover the cost of the funeral, they are surely willing to help with this. One of her adult kids can write the letter to the hospital (on the computer) and keep it as a template for any other future needs. All mom hs to do is sign the letter-- and the kids attach the bill and mail it back (keep a copy and send with delivery confirmation so there is a tracking #-- much cheaper than certified). Then they change the message on mom’s answering machine that adds to the greeting something like “please do not leave any messages on this machine for the late XXX. We are not responsible for any of his debt and will not accept or return any calls related to his financial matters”. And screen all incoming calls. Mom can answer the phone if she hears a familiar/friendly voice on the machine.
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<p>This is all reasonable, well thought out advice, and I like the way it sounds. It’s not much different than I’d suggest.</p>
<p>Having just recently lost a parent, I can understand how the mom feels. Well, maybe I can’t — I can’t imagine losing a child, no matter at what age. So shielding her from any additional stress or pain is what I’d love to see the remaining sibs do. At times like this, even writing a letter can feel overwhelming. She needs to grieve (as do the siblings). But at 90-- she deserves a serious break, don’t ya think?</p>