<p>I have something to add:</p>
<p>I think it is very immature and disrespectful for a young person or a parent to go around trying to take credit for a college that they didn’t attend on the theory that they would have gotten in to the college and done well except that they never bothered to apply.</p>
<p>My daughter had a high school English teacher who thought she was the smartest student he ever had and who told her over and over again that she should apply to Harvard. He made a big point of saying that he wanted to write her letter of recommendation. My daughter did not apply to Harvard. It would NOT be appropriate for me to go around telling people that my daughter was “Harvard material” but she just couldn’t be bothered with an application. </p>
<p>My son had a high school teacher who was a Brown alum who though that my son was, in his words, a “genius”. (Full exact quote: “He’s the laziest genius I’ve ever met.”) The teacher said over and over again that my son was “Ivy material” and urged him to apply to Ivies, especially Brown. But at the time, Brown required all applicants to submit handwritten essays. My son was dyslexic, dysgraphic, and, as noted by his teacher, not in a hurry to do extra work; in any case, he wasn’t going to suffer through the handwriting thing just to please Brown. I kind of thought the requirement was discriminatory against kids like my son who had a tough time writing legibly … but my son didn’t want to apply to Brown badly enough to justify our making a federal case of it. He simply decided not to apply. </p>
<p>And thus I don’t go around telling people that my son was “Ivy material” or make a point of explaining to anybody that he would have gone to Brown but for their dumb and since-abandoned policy about handewritten applications. </p>
<p>I even have to watch what I say about Columbia, even though my daughter has taken half her classes there and will graduate with a degree that says “Columbia University” (in latin) at the top… because some people are very touchy about the Columbia/Barnard relationship. Clearly my daughter COULD have done well as a Columbia student – she has earned A’s in every class she ever took at Columbia – but she did not ever fill out an application and apply to Columbia College. I don’t go around telling people that the problem was that Columbia doesn’t take the common application like Barnard does, or making other excuses. She didn’t apply, she didn’t take the core, therefore she is not the same as students who did.</p>
<p>My d. was accepted to but did not attend Chicago. As noted, Chicago was nice to us except in the financial aid dept, and I didn’t take that personally, so I think its a great school. But because my daughter chose not to attend, she did not take Chicago’s core, she did not run the gauntlet of Chicago’s notorious workload, and it is a disservice to every student who now does attend or did attend and graduate to try to equate “would’ve” or “could’ve” with “actually did”. Those kids – even the one who used the screen name IHateUofC – deserve the respect of acknowledging that they have accomplished something that everyone who didn’t attend Chicago did not. A person can’t get Chicago-attending-credit by attending a school they think is harder, or one that is more prestigious, or by smugly declaring that they were just too busy or too special or too smart to bother with the application process. </p>
<p>That’s just the way it works. It’s got nothing to do with prestige, but when a school is especially known for its rigorous academics and heavy workload - whether it is Chicago or Reed or MIT – it is particularly irksome when people who didn’t apply and didn’t attend try to pretend that they earned some sort of equivalency by, of all things, deciding not to apply.</p>