<p>I worried that my darling would happily go with anyone. Fortunately, I found out that she was more discerning than I knew. </p>
<p>One day, I was at the mechanic and he was going to help me move my car while she was strapped into her car seat. As we had previously told her to, she immediately yelled, “Go away, you’re NOT my mommy or daddy!” I had to calm her and reassure her it was ok for him to move the car. :)</p>
<p>I once allowed my 9 yr old to sit in the locked car and read a book while I went inside a store for about 10 minutes. When I came out, a cop was standing there and threatened to change me with something. I discussed the matter with him, and he had to admit that it was a matter of discretion at that age, and that S was neither cold not hot, and was obviously sensible because he hadn’t opened the door for him even when he set off the car alarm. (He would have had to climb into the front seat to do so, thanks to childproof locks.)</p>
<p>Whether the expectations of constant presence have changed within your lifetime or not probably depends on the area where you grew up.</p>
<p>When I was in kindergarten, during a field trip to a local park, I slid down the largest slide and landed in a mud puddle at the bottom. The kindergarten teacher suggested that I could go home at that point, since I was soaked and muddy. And I did. Unattended. Walking a distance of a little over a mile, to my (always unlocked) home. That would never happen now.</p>
<p>It is very likely that I left QMP in our car, buckled into a car seat, a time or two when I went into the dry cleaner’s. The front of the dry cleaner’s is all glass, and you can park immediately in front of the door, so I could keep a constant eye on the vehicle. Other than that, no.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I think it is important to realize that absolute safety is hard to guarantee. My spouse and I once left QMP in the care of my father-in-law while we were out for about half an hour. When we returned to the house, my father-in-law had managed to get locked out of the house, with QMP and the dog inside. Everyone was fine. But I hadn’t thought to leave a set of keys with my father-in-law.</p>
<p>The young people on this thread who haven’t had the experience (yet) should not underestimate the effects of extreme sleep deprivation, during your children’s babyhood. I recall one time that I thought I had left QMP in the bed with us after nursing, but in fact I had returned her to her crib. Another time, I was convinced that we had the cat in bed with us. The thing is, we have <em>never</em> had a cat.</p>
<p>Here’s a parent who didn’t leave her kids locked in her car; she wouldn’t let her kids inside the car:</p>
<p><a href=“Texas Mom Jailed After Kids Tumble From Atop Car | The Smoking Gun”>Texas Mom Jailed After Kids Tumble From Atop Car | The Smoking Gun;
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<p>My parents left me alone in the car from when I was maybe 10, which I think is no big deal. If it was hot, they left the windows open.
My father’s nearly the age of many grandfathers, and he grew up in a place and time where children roamed around unaccompanied by adults. He never had a problem with me, from a reasonable age, walking to school with just my sister (2 years my senior). Nor with me walking around in the woods behind our house by myself, nor with me taking long walks in our neighborhood all by my lonesome. My mother’s the more cautious parent :).</p>
<p>Many years ago, over 25 years ago, there was a woman who would block our car drop off/pick up line regularly, as she would park her car, blocking us, far enough down the half circle so that those manning the kids and cars could not easily leave their posts. I’m sure she was asked/told/demanded not to do that but she and a number of folks continued the practice at this preschool, but she was the worst offender by far. She’d go into the school regularly, leaving her car there, and often a sleeping infant in the carseat, no more than 10 minutes, usually less. </p>
<p>Well, she made the evening news. Apparently she did the same elsewhere, leaving her keys in the ignition, and someone stole her car. With baby in the back seat. The thief ditched the car, baby still in the car seat very soon thereafter and called in the location–kidnapping was clearly not his goal. I hate to say this but a lot of us chortled over what happened. She went right back to leaving kid and car in the driveway, maybe she started making sure she took the keys. </p>
<p>I think what happened in the OP’s linked story was ridiculous. I think the police, the DAs office should have dropped those charges, given the time of the call, the footage and the fact that the parent left the car in the store for 5 minutes or so. I don’t know where the line should be drawn for how long the parent is gone out of sight, but really, 5 minutes? A waste of a lot of people’s time and money and enrichening an attorney’s larders is what I think of all of this. A lot of idiots did not use common sense and read the facts of the situation. </p>
<p>A lot of us do a lot of things that are not by the book a lot of times, and we depend upon our judgements and others when we do these things. But there are stupid people in all wakes of life that take a rule, law and use it at its extreme where it looks ridiculous There should be a national award for such stupidity A kid getting suspended for having a weapon, when it’s a plastic fast food type knife to cut his left over type lunch his mom packed for him in a no weapons schools with knives so listed (kid was a kindergardener or first grader)? A kid suspended for his fireman plastic hatchet during a Halloween parade because it violated a no weapons rule? A first grader getting sexual harassment charges for kissing a classmate? Really. I have some great nominees and the sheriff and DA dept in that story would right up there. </p>
<p>"if a baby is locked in a car…use a hammer and break car window immediately…don’t wait for a locksmith or a spouse to drive with key from other side of town. "</p>
<p>Really, Lizard? Always? What if the spouse is just minutes away and baby is sound asleep and the weather is just fine? You are standing right there and can break into the car immediately if the need arises but why go through all of that if a few minutes wait is all it takes. In some cases, more risks with the broken glass, not to mention having a car with a broken window and the expense. Clearly if the child is in distress you don’t wait around, but you use judgement. No pat rules on this. I agree that one has to move fast when there is true risk right there, but most of the time, you can wait for the locksmith or the spouse or give it a try to open it yourself. Kid is not likely to be going anywhere and if you are right there you can go to the break in mode if the situation changes.</p>
<p>I did occasionally after they went off to kindergarten so 5ish but generally it was to pay for gas, or pick up laundry or somewhere less than 5 minutes and within eye site and we live in a small town with virtually no crime.</p>
<p>Although a couple years ago I had a woman literally scream at me one summer day when I ran into a stop and go to pick up something and left the dog in the car. The car window was down enough inches but not so far that he could get his entire head out and the moon roof was open for circulation of air, it was summer but not unusually hot and my dog is 90 pounds and has very, very short hair and loves heat plus has separation anxiety so he goes where I go. This woman was enraged at me that I left the dog in the car in the summer…just the dog – no babies, toddlers, etc…in the car. She was yelling and threatening to call the police. I just thought she was a nut job but she was literally blocking me from my car and screaming. I told her I was going to call the police if she didn’t move away from my car and she needed to find better things to do in life and she finally did move. The total time in the store was somewhere between 5 and 10 minutes. Some people make YOUR business THEIR business.</p>
<p>Every year at the end of school, my mom would pile all seven of us in the station wagon and drive out to the beach house for the summer. On the way, she would stop at one of the ‘big’ department stores and buy clothes, bathing suits, sneakers, flip flops, etc for the season. She left ALL of us in the car - including my disabled sister.
We liked it for about 20 minutes and then would start wailing, MOOOOOMMMMMMM!
I laugh about it now but can’t imagine tat ever happening today!</p>
<p>PS There were never enough seatbelts for us. :-O</p>
<p>I think the age at which one would allow a child to walk alone to school is a good benchmark for leaving a child alone in the car. I’d never let a 3 or 4 year old walk himself to preschool, although I’d let him be walked by a 10 or 11 year old sibling. I wouldn’t have any problem letting a 7 year old walk in a safe neighborhood. In between would for me depend on the maturity of the child.</p>
<p>The story from my husband is that when his father took him and his sister to the beach he would have them ride home in the trunk to keep sand out of the car. That was confirmed by my SIL. Of course that was before seatbelt laws so it might have been perfectly legal.</p>
<p>This just happened a few days ago. So sad. I can’t imagine what the child went through.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.ajc.com/news/news/breaking-news/child-believed-left-in-car-in-cobb-has-died/ngNdR/”>http://www.ajc.com/news/news/breaking-news/child-believed-left-in-car-in-cobb-has-died/ngNdR/</a></p>
<p>When I was a 3, my nursery school had a pick-up service where the driver would pile all us tots in the back of a station wagon-- no kiddie car seats, no seat belts. Nowadays that would be a capital crime.</p>
<p>Never, ever. Have three kids and would never have done that under any conditions.</p>
<p>Seen from an international perspective, we may be a little over the top in this regard. <a href=“Toddler, Left Outside Restaurant, Is Returned to Her Mother - The New York Times”>http://www.nytimes.com/1997/05/14/nyregion/toddler-left-outside-restaurant-is-returned-to-her-mother.html</a> </p>
<p>Picking up the older brother from preschool, yes, I left my twin babies in the car. Park directly in front, lock the car, run in a little on the later side to make the process efficient, and go right back out to the vehicle. Taking them in involved getting the stroller out, fighting the ice at the curb, hauling two out of car seats, strapping them in, then reversing the process. Our small city is essentially safe, and one makes constant logistical and safety decisions with twins. Leaving them in the car for a few minutes at the most was a minor less than ideal solution to a dilemma, one of many faced every day. </p>
<p>I remember many many times as a child being left in the car with siblings. Once, the standard transmission car was left in neutral, and started to slide out of the parking place. I climbed in the front seat, and knew enough to put my foot on the brake pedal till my mom came out, at age 9 or so. </p>
<p>momofthreeboys, sympathies on the rage fest with the dog in the car. In my experience, dogs love cars and being with their owners, and are far happier being left for a short time in the car, than being made to stay home alone. </p>
<p>Note that the NY times article linked above is from 1997:</p>
<p>From the article:
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<p>I remember a friend who would secure her 4 year old in a 5-point harness for a walk in a stroller. The kid looked like she was getting ready for a launch to the the Int’l Space Station.</p>
<p>I was one of those “bad” parents. I occasionally left a toddler in the carseat while I ran inside a shop or to the school to pick up an older kid. Not when it was too hot (we lived in Texas) and never for more than a couple minutes. </p>
<p>I also 1) let my kids walk to friends’ houses in the neighbourhood by themselves when they were 6, 2) let them walk to the local playground and play unattended at age 7 or 8, 3) let them walk to the store (across major street) when they were 10, 4) let them walk to bus stop and take city bus by age 10, 5) left them home alone for less than an hour by age 8, 6) let the older ones babysit younger ones by age 12, 7) put them on international flights with plane changes by 12</p>
<p>And all of my kids have successfully reached adulthood. </p>
<p>I stepped out of my car to take a photo once and the door locked behind me even though I hadn’t locked it. Keys were inside along with baby D3! I can’t describe my panic even though it wasn’t that hot, we were in deep shade, and H’s place of work was only about 10 blocks away. A woman walking nearby insisted on driving me to H’s work so I could get the spare key and return quickly. </p>
<p>It made me worry about keys and locks ever since and I always carry the keys in my hand in case the lock does something weird again. </p>
<p>I’ve been watching “Call the Midwife” and it shows babies being left out in the street or in breezeways in carriages in London’s East End in the 50s. I do think mores have changed a lot and that it’s based more on fears than an actual increase in the crime rate. But I never would leave kids unattended in a car. What if something happened to you and and no one knew the children were in the car (especially young ones)? </p>
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<p>Something similar happened with my infant D in the winter. She was in there for half an hour while I waited for a locksmith (no extra key and H was an hour away). Thank goodness it was not the summer; otherwise I would have had to break the window and risk injury for her and me. She had no idea what was going on, was all bundled up, and seemed okay. </p>