Diet/Exercise/Health/Wellness Support Thread

Parent Cafe
61721

Yea @Midwest67 great that you’re feeling better. I’m happy you’re liking your changes both at work and in the basement.

Congrats @FallGirl I coached sports for many years and it’s very rewarding. I’m actually informally (just for fun) training a women for a spartan race. First try, she climbed a rope with a little advice on technique. Coaching is fun.

During CF competition season, I usually do the prescribed competitive workout on Fridays and then again on Sundays to see if I can beat my time from Friday. However, this week’s workout sucked eggs. And since the weather turned to Spring here, im thinking of just getting back to running on Sundays. The 4th workout in sequence has burpees and they’re barbell facing burpees which means after you performing the burpee, you jump over the barbell which has plates on it. :-&

61722

@deb922

We definitely needed to wear spikes on our boots for the icy parts of the trail.

@FallGirl

You’re going to be a great coach & role model!

@sushiritto

You really work out hard. I hope I can tell you I’ve done an unassisted chin up …before 2019 is over.

61723

Last Sunday I chose to run, although I wasn’t feeling 100%. And still not feeling well. I didn’t repeat the 4th workout, because there was no way I wanted to do another 72 burpees jumping over the barbell along with the other two movements (snatches and pull-ups). Blech! :-&

@Midwest67 You can do a pull-up. Keep practicing and working out those lats, shoulders and arms.

61724

Great 14 mile hike today in the Moraine hills in WI.

I think the strength training I’ve been doing — even modest — makes a difference when hiking.

Fun tailgate afterwards. It’s still cold here. High of 41.

61725

Question for you all who are part of exercise groups.

I’ve hit a little bump in the hiking club I participate in. There is this one man I’ve taken a strong disliking to over the last year or so. So far, my approach has been avoidance and minimizes interactions. Easy to do when we are a large group, harder to do when it’s a small group. When we do interact, I’ve been keeping it polite, but often answer him with silence or “uh-huh” or other short responses and I move on as soon as possible.

In my head, I am fighting a strong urge to give him a verbal lashing and setting some firm boundaries. That might not be a great idea because it might mean wrestling with a pig, and you know how that saying goes, you get dirty and the pig actually LIKES it. He is that kind of man. Says provocative things. Talks smack about other club members & gauges whether people are “with” him. Lots of sexual innuendos. He seems to get amusement seeing how people react to him. Let’s call him Big Mouth.

2 recent examples: Another club member asked me if he could carpool with me to a hike. I said sure. This club member has always been polite, normal friendly topics of conversation, and has never said anything sexual to me. When we arrived to the trailhead parking lot, Big Mouth says to this man, how did you get here, I don’t see your car.
The man said, I drove up with Midwest67. Big Mouth gets this big grin on his face, looks at both of us, big dramatic pause, Oh??? You went to her HOUSE? You two drove up TOGETHER? …continues with “knowing” look.

First example where I’d like to him to shut up and go away.

Another example is hiking along a single track trail, and just my luck, Big Mouth is directly behind me. He asks me if I’ve ever had my body fat measured and he says he thinks it’s pretty low. I said Nope, not interested in doing that and I’m sure it’s just normal. He continued to rattle on, I said nothing, and then I held back saying I was going to take a bathroom break.

Second example where I’d like him to shut up and go away.

WWYD in this kind of situation with a pig who might enjoy a confrontation and it’s someone you are going to see every week as long as you continue to participate in the club?

61726

OMG, and you haven’t exploded at him yet?! :wink:

You can’t be the only one having these feelings. It is NOT ok.

I’m just curious - how old is this man and does he have a significant other? Is he trolling???

Is there a group leader or an official meeting or a newsletter or something where this could be moderately addressed?

I think at some point I would have to say, “your comments about my personal being/life are making me super uncomfortable”.

61727

Invite the people you like on your own hike, forming your own club excluding the obnoxious one.

61728

@abasket

No, I have not exploded at him yet, and there have been more incidents than I’ve described.

It might be because of all the years I worked in hospitality. Do NOT fight with an obnoxious guest. Be polite, smile and nod, and get yourself out of the situation ASAP.

Plus, I think I’ve been socialized to be polite to men, while planning my escape.

He is probably around 69, as I recall him talking about the year he graduated from HS once, and my thinking he was the age of one of my sibs. Yes, he has a significant other. A LTR, they live together, & are always together at the hikes. She is very nice, smart and interesting to talk with. I’ll have to pay more attention, but he is probably misbehaving when she is not near.

I’m not sure if there is a group leader exactly. There is one man in charge of the hiking schedule, so that might be as close to a leader as we get. Thinking about your suggestion, and I’d rather not go to another man for a rescue, if I can avoid it.

At work, when we address problems to the staff at large (ex: Everyone, please try to be on time!), NO ONE thinks we are talking about them, lol. So, we try to go straight to the person, one on one, and address it. (You’ve been sliding in 5-10 minutes late every day. Please be on time!).

So, sorta like that, I think I want to be direct and firm, and yes, polite. Take the high road. Don’t wrestle with pigs.

61729

@ucbalumnus

Although that’s an option, that would not be a palatable solution for me. I could “diversify” though, and explore some other clubs.

61730

@Midwest67 I totally get what you are saying about how the one person who is doing something at work never recognizes themselves when it is addressed as a whole group issue. It only irritates every one else. In fact, my old boss used to often give our whole staff meeting a little lecture on tardiness right at the beginning of our meeting, when obviously only the prompt people were there!

I would hate for you to have to explore other clubs if you like this one just because of this one guy. I can see why you don’t want to go straight to the informal leader of the group like you need a man to address it, but you need something other than your usual polite smile and nod.
I think you should try to address him directly but calmly if possible. It’s hard because you don’t know what he is going to say next, but try rehearsing a response to the kind of remarks he might make so that you can start calling him on his behavior. I would try somewhat low-key but direct responses to each remark instead of talking about the whole pattern of remarks right away, because it is easier for him to deny something that happened in the past, or insist you misinterpreted it. If that doesn’t work, enlist the help of others in the group.

For example, if he says something about your body fat composition, could you say “We’re not going to discuss my body, Dave” or if he makes innuendoes about your carpooling arrangements, say, “You seem bizarrely interested in our carpool situation. Knock it off.” And maybe talk to your carpool buddy about it, like “that was weird how Dave was making comments about us. He’s probably just trying to make conversation but it makes me uncomfortable.”

If you respond to him, he may say you are over reacting, or that he doesn’t mean anything by it, and then you can say something like, “You may not mean anything offensive, but it came off as too personal.” or “You may think it was just a joke, but it really wasn’t funny.” and then just walk off. After a couple of times, he will probably just think you’re not much fun to talk to and he’ll stop. Or, at that point, you talk to more of the other people in the group about whether they’ve noticed it, and whether they can kind of run interference for you.

But don’t just leave a group you like on his account!

61731

Don’t tell the guy that his comments make you uncomfortable. That is exactly what he wants to hear! “Knock it off” is a good response.

61732

Thanks!

No one has a similar story from a running club or biking club?

Speaking of work analogies, I feel like this guy is creating a unwelcoming, hostile environment within the club.

I won’t take my ball & go home permanently. But, I did find a hike up in WI with a different group for this coming Sunday. I’m going to check it out!

Knowing I have options is good.

61733

I would like to encourage you to say something to this guy. This weekend, I told the man sitting next to me in the theater to stop texting during the performance. He was shocked that I spoke to him and said he had a right to use his phone! I hate confrontation. I was shaking during the whole interaction and I felt the adrenaline rushing through my body for many minutes afterwards, but I was glad I said something. He pulled the phone out 6 times (I first spoke to him the third time he did it); each time, I told him he was being rude. I think, finally, his friend sitting on his other side heard our whispered argument and told him to stop, and he did.

There has been much in the news lately about men (famous and not) who say they are surprised to be told their behavior is unacceptable. I think we need to tell them. And keep telling them.

I agree with the others who suggested “knock it off” or something else short and factual, maybe “that’s inappropriate!” I also think it would be good to make sure others are within earshot–both to back you up and to be witnesses. Everyone there for the hike has a right to feel comfortable. I bet you are not the only person who has been bothered by his comments.

My husband was sitting on my other side and he offered to switch seats with me. But, like you, I didn’t want a man to rescue me! But I did know he was there if I needed backup.

61734

I think if someone said something like to me, I would just stare at them and say, “Really? Please stop.” And try never to be alone with him.

61735

Tell him his comments are inappropriate and it needs to stop. NOW. And say it to him in front of his significant other if you can. But definitely say it when it occurs and again when then the SI is there if you can. Let him see what it feels like to feel uncomfortable.

61736

Ahead of schedule! I was able to do a single unassisted chin-up today (no kipping either).

It felt GREAT. I’m so happy! It feels like real returns on investment.

First weekend of May is the hiking club’s 25-miler. So far so good for the training hikes.

61737

@Midwest67 – what a loser! I would not engage and not react. That’s what he wants. I would be very tempted to laughingly bring up his comments in front of his significant other. “Bob must crack you up with the things he says. Like the time I gave so and so a ride to the hike. I bet you never take him seriously either.” Big smile.

61738

@Classof2015

I’ll be using “Knock it off!” or some variety of shutting him down. Not engaging and not reacting is what I have been doing, it has not changed his behavior.

I really want to keep his GF out of it. She’s very nice to chat with on the trail. She’s not responsible for his behavior.

61739

This is a HUGE milestone. Congrats!

61740

@sushiritto

Thank you! There is almost no one in my circle I could share that with and get that kind of response. :slight_smile:

Encouragement to everyone! I re-started strength training last May? June?

I missed weeks, had to re-start, missed again, re-started again – and still only managed ~2 sessions a week. I love how I feel AFTER lifting, but I can’t say I love the actual session.

Slow and steady, still made progress and have gotten stronger. IOW, if I can do it, so can youz!