I am lucky enough that my retired DH prepares dinner for me and we generally sit down to dinner about 7 PM or so after I get home from the office. If I am out and coming home late, he will have dinner on his own and might sit with me when get home. He has several meetings a month for an organization he is involved in and those generally involve dinner out. I will try to cook something bigger on a Sunday that we can have for leftover at least for one night during the week. He always left for work before me and I had breakfast with the kids before getting everyone off for school and so since we are longtime empty nesters, I generally have breakfast and head off the to the office having put up a big pot of coffee and he can have a more relaxing breakfast on his own. On Sundays he is the breakfast man and always has been. Whenever the girls stay over they always look forward to that. We never have dinner or breakfast in front of a TV unless it is something like the Super Bowl or Breakfast at Wimbledon. Even if it sometimes just the two of us we will have dinner on a Friday night or Sunday in the dining room and for the most part always when the girls are home.
I hate working out in the morning (have tried it). I feel tired and wimpy, not very strong. It is hard to get out of bed to do it when I know it isn’t going to feel good, too, even if I go to bed early for a good night’s rest. Not everyone can enjoy an early am workout. 
Someone mentioned no TV during dinner. Well, in our house we get into days in a row of watching Jeopardy together when it coincides with mealtime. Then we won’t bother for awhile. We have fun giving the answers (questions) and offering opinions on the quality of the days’ players. Interactive instead of passive attention to the TV.
Communication between partners seems to be the key. Sometimes no words are needed. But- you need to state your wishes sometimes for them to be understood. Parallel living in the same house can occur if there are no routines in common. For most of us, especially those working, dinner seems to be the common time to be together.
Ouch. Some of the responses were a little harsh but I appreciate them. I should say that his exercise schedule is very rigid and I suppose a sore spot for me. I exercise too so I get it. We’ve been married for 30 years so we have a track record of working things out, I was just looking for some examples of what other people do, Maybe the way I asked it and followed up wasn’t the best and for that I apologize. We will figure it out, and besides, soon enough the kids will be home on break.
We usually eat dinner together, and lunch too. It is easier now that we’re empty nesters and not working kids’ schedules into the mix. We like to walk a few miles before dinner, and the meal and clean-up all segue into our main time to converse each day. Now breakfast is another story. If H and I sit down at the table together on a weekday morning, we do not speak to one another. We eat, sip tea, and read the paper–sections divvied up by prior arrangement. It’s just easier that way. I don’t think there’s any right or wrong way to apportion time in a marriage. Our schedules have evolved into a place that’s comfortable for us now. It hasn’t always been this way–especially having lunch together. My H had a health crisis a few years ago, a real shakeup, and this is sort of how we landed. Good luck, OP. I hope you can work out a compromise that fits both of your needs.
I’m sure you’ll work it out. The important thing is the communication. I see nothing wrong with eating apart but sharing time together when both of you are in a communicative mood. Meal times aren’t particularly “sacred” and the only time folks can communicate. It’s important for folks to figure out what tweaks work best for THEM BOTH. For many years (maybe decades), I rarely saw H until after he came home from work and we never ate breakfast together. Now, we enjoy eating breakfast most days and often dinner together, but if we preferred a different schedule, we’d work it out. I’m confident that folks who WANT to work things out will and those who don’t wont’–it’s just a symptom of other issues when it can’t be resolved.
Yes, absolutely! It’s one of the few times we get to eat together and have an uninterrupted conversation.
I am still on the bus coming home from my late evening class, and Mr., who just finished his exercise, is waiting for me to eat dinner together. The main reason for the wait is that he is too lazy to make dinner! 
For me, fixing something quickly even when I am tired is not such a big deal, because the upside is that we get to eat together.
H goes in to work early and is home before me. This works out well because he likes to cook (and I don’t) and he is a better cook than I am anyway. So we eat together after I get home.
Only downside is that on the rare occasion that I get home first I panic because I have to cook!
Dinner time was always big at our house, even after the kids went off to college my Ex and I continued to eat together. As a single person now, it is something I do miss quite a bit. I don’t like to eat by myself. To me, food is always meant to be shared with someone. If I was in a committed relationship, I would expect to have meals with that person on a regular basis. It is something that is very intimate.
@ChoatieMom, this is one of those times when we need a “love” button. That sounds awesome.
I cook dinner most nights. A lot of times, I’m not all that hungry at dinner time. But I always sit with DH and sip on my water or decaf tea, or occasionally a glass of wine, while he eats. Dinner time is the best time to catch up on the day’s events or any other issue that we need to talk about.
DH loves dinner time. Nothing makes him happier than coming in after a long day to the smells of a home cooked meal. It’s a remnant of his childhood, I think. There wasn’t much happiness going on for a great portion of his childhood, but his Mom is a fantastic cook, so there was always at least that part of his day that was pleasant.
We would if we weren’t presently fighting about his not taking care of the dishes after I cook. Right now, its all about me making a soup and sandwich or something similarly simple and he hoping that I’ll call a truce and start making those nice meals I always made before we became empty-nesters and agreed that he’d take care of the dishes from then on. I got tired of listening to him complain about the dishes and often times his leaving them overnight in the sink so I stopped cooking anything substantial. So I guess the answer is Yes, but I don’t really consider it dinner, LOL
I cook, H does the dishes. If I make an effort to cook I would want to enjoy it together.
We used to have the deal that I cooked, he cleaned. However, these days, he is working really long hours, and I’m not working all that much any more. So I now cook and clean. I really don’t mind as it seems only fair. There are only two of us, so the mess isn’t as overwhelming as it used to seem back when we had a full house. Plus, when he insists on cleaning up, it just annoys me, because he puts it off until 10 or 11 o’clock, which really bugs me. And inevitably, he’ll leave a few dishes or pans sitting out all night, which just makes it that much harder to clean the next day. I’m happier to just get it done quickly and have a truly clean kitchen instead of a half done one.
We have always had me cook and H clean. Works great, since I’m a much better cook and he a much better cleaner!
Patterns can and do adjust over time. When one of us is swamped, the other will lean in and do more–just makes everything work better. An attitude of gratitude and love is very nurturing. ;
We don’t have television in the kitchen so if we do watch to dine and watch TV at the same time, it is in our den/family room and so we sort of consider it a fun event, like a picnic. We do have a radio in the kitchen/dining area and that is generally turned on to NPR especially if we are at home for dinner on Saturday night as we are big fans for “Prairie Home Companion”
Actually I recall a funny conversation I had with the director of the organization that I worked for when older d was born and I was going on maternity leave. He remarked about how I would hang out in the kitchen watching morning talk shows and drinking coffee she would nap and I asked how I would do that (among many reasons) but I had never heard of anyone having a television in the kitchen. I didn’t know anyone who had one… she recently turned 30 and it was only when I started going to other people’s houses for play dates did I notice that. I did have a demanding job when I was on the road for conferences a good deal prior to maternity leave and not around too much.
DH makes salad while I put the finishing touches on dinner, which sometimes means leftovers in the microwave. We cleanup together. He does the washing, I do the putting away most of the time.
On Fridays we often listen to “The Dinner Party Download” it’s a lot of fun. I should probably go find that podcast thread and recommend it.
We’ve been eating together more (and eating the same foods) since I started using Blue Apron. I’ve been using it for about 6 months. With our empty nest and just two of us in the house, it was becoming too easy to rely on prepared foods or carry out, and I felt like I was in a food rut. The Blue Apron recipes are really fun to cook, and have diverse cuisines (we get a meat, chicken, and fish each week–4 types of fish rotate, but the meals aren’t repeated for a year). This week I’m having a pork dish with fresh ramen noodles, Filipino chicken and rice, and salmon with pesto. The box with everything I need (except olive oil, salt and peppers) is delivered to our home each Thursday–and I cook Friday, Saturday, Sunday when I have time in the evening and we can both enjoy it. There are lots of unusual spices, and since they come in just-right quantities, there is no waste–I hated buying a jar of spices for a recipe and never using it again. This week we have just an ounce of pea shoots, 3 small bok choy, a couple of ounces of spinach, 1 inch pieces of ginger, a small bunch of garlic chives–you get the picture. no waste! And I’m really learning to cook for the first time–they have lots of tips for preparing the food, and I’ll go on youtube to figure out how to use an ingredient I’ve never seen before. So yeah–for us it’s good. Portions are generous for 2, although it took a bit of time to recognize that 5 ounces is actually an appropriate sized portion of meat–even my husband agrees.
Our daughter and her boyfriend have also started using blue apron as well–I had sent her some of the free meals you can share with friends and family and they found they liked it. Although it is pretty expensive in some respects ($60/week, or $10/meal per person), she finds that they are eating out less, so the expense is probably a wash. She is a pescatarian, so they choose the fish and veggie options each week.
Could I buy all of the ingredients more cheaply myself and cook the same meals using the posted recipes? Probably. Would I? Probably not. The fun and convenience have made me a believer.
I just clean up as I go along, so really the only thing the guys have to do is rinse their own dishes/utensils and put them in the dishwasher. I still have one at home for one more year, so I do try and have us sit down to dinner together most nights. But with hockey practices and other commitments it doesn’t always happen.
I usually prohibit TV at dinner time, but we have an open plan living space where the kitchen flows into the family room. We all want to watch the debates, so on those nights we do watch while we eat.
Last night, W had a late meeting so I had dinner with S2 about 6 pm. She didn’t get home until nearly 10, but I put the crockpot on low and kept dinner warm. I sat with her while she ate - wouldn’t have even thought about it if Nrdsb4 hadn’t mentioned it.
She also had meetings Tuesday and tonight, busy week for her. Dinner and drinks together in Seattle tomorrow.