<p>HRSFRM: you are absolutely right. Obviously, Queen’smom had to adjust to her child’s needs. I had to also. My oldest is very bright, and as such understood a lot that was lost on other children. This meant that he needed a lot of my time to explain the world to him and help him work through the emotionally disturbing information he acquired through reading. Believe me, I tried my best to monitor what his little eyes saw, but it’s difficult to censor the world for an inquisitive child. For example, he adored reading the newspaper. I remember when he was 4 years old, he fretted over the Gulf War body counts that were published back then. Now he is the most together and autonomous of my children, but when he was small he needed me a lot. He also had the most separation anxiety of any of my kids. </p>
<p>My second was a child who probably would have thrived in daycare. She was very social, very independent. If I walked one way, she’d walk in the opposite direction. She did not require a lot of supervision with homework either. Now, however, in her teenage years, she’s the one who needs a surprisingly large amount of my time, attention, and supervision.</p>
<p>My youngest has special needs. Enough said about that.</p>
<p>I have friends whose kids, when they were small, were like my second. I don’t think their mother working impacted them negatively at all. To the contrary, they were probably stimulated by being with other kids in daycare and afterschool. But I also have friends whose kids are or were emotionally fragile or especially needy. I recall one child who needed to visit the school nurse every day for some TLC when her mother worked. For that child, I would have stayed home if at all possible.</p>